Chapter 493 – Never meet again (2)
Although Kangyuan helped him and did things for him, Zhao Li still thought about Pengyue’s former self. He remembered how that once showy and unbridled princess would stand in front of him and protect him.
She had gone through trials and tribulations with him. How could he forget her after obtaining success?
However, Zhangjun Prince was rebelling. Why wouldn’t she borrow an army from Yuzhen to help him? He had originally come here because he had heard she was sick, but once this topic was brought up, he got angry with her again.
“I won’t borrow soldiers from Yuzhen,” she said.
Once upon a time, Pengyue had always protected him. Why wouldn’t she help him now? Why? Just because he took Kangyuan as his consort? She knew the difficulties that he faced, so why couldn’t she see things from his point of view?
“Actually, the person that Your Majesty loves the most is yourself.” Pengyue bleakly smiled. Looking at him, she said, “I used up all my strength to try to obtain love from you. But in the end, I realize I was wrong. You only love yourself.”
Zhao Li felt furious. He does love her! How could she not know? How could she say that he only loves himself? She had been with him for so long. How could she not understand him?
“Outrageous!” This was the last time he left Wangyue Building. At that time, he vowed he would never take the initiative to go see her.
How could he possibly… not love her?
—
Her words were like a curse that tied him down to one place and unable to move. The rebels had already broken through the capital’s gates, but he wasn’t willing to leave.
“This emperor wants to go to Wangyue Building,” he said.
—
Pengyue was on her last breath. There was only one servant girl by her bedside. This servant girl had always been by her side. There was turmoil and chaos of war outside, and the palace servants were fleeing. In contrast, Pengyue was very peaceful.
It was because she knew she was going to die soon.
“In this lifetime, I made a mistake, and it ruined the rest of my life.” Pengyue was looking at the crying servant girl, but it also seemed as if she was looking elsewhere. “I choose the wrong person to love. If I had known this earlier, I would have chosen someone that already had a wife. That would have been fine too. Someone that didn’t need my protection. Instead, he would be the one protecting me. He would have to be someone with immense strength and could defeat me in combat…”
Her red whip was hanged up nearby. It seemed that its color had noticeably faded too.
“I regret it.”
Pengyue smiled and repeated herself, “I regret it.”
She had wanted him to keep his harem empty of consorts and promised to protect him for a lifetime. She was only a woman that wanted love. An ordinary love would have been enough. It would have been better than wasting her life waiting and this endless loneliness.
She had been too greedy, that’s why she hadn’t been able to get anything.
All of her bones ached; the pain was unbearable. Pengyue gritted her teeth and spat out her last words, “In the afterlife, I never want to see him again.”
She hoped that they would never meet again in any incarnation of their lives, so there would be less torment and fewer years wasted.
In the past, she hadn’t known what love was. It was only when she met him that she had learned what love was. And yet, in the end, he hadn’t been able to hold onto his promise to her.
The servant girl’s sobs choked her utterance. She could only helplessly watch as Pengyue passed away. Soon after, a voice called out from downstairs.
“Someone! Come here, help this emperor upstairs.”
The servant girl packed up her bag, saluted towards the bed, and slowly went downstairs.
The palace servants had scattered, so there was naturally no one here to help him. Zhao Li’s eyes were red. This was the first time he felt such loathing that he was a cripple. He couldn’t even go upstairs to bring Pengyue down.
A female palace servant came downstairs. His eyes brightened. “Help this emperor upstairs to see the empress!”
The female palace servant compassionately glanced at him. “Her Majesty’s dying decree was that she didn’t want to see you. If Your Majesty wants to go up, you’ll have to climb up there yourself.”
Dying decree?
Zhao Li smiled. This palace servant must be stupid. Pengyue was still alive. How could her words be a dying decree? “Don’t say such nonsense…”
The palace servant had already run away. Zhao Li called out a few times, but she didn’t look back.
It was quiet upstairs. Zhao Li fumbled his way out of his wheelchair. Dragging his heavy legs, he crawled up the stairs. As he crawled up, he cursed, “The servants in the palace use words they don’t know. What dying decree? It should be called imperial decree. What a hopeless idiot.”
His unfeeling legs were scrapped by the stairs as he dragged himself up. It felt so laborious as he pulled himself up the stairs one at a time with his hands.
“Wangyue Building is truly tall enough. Would it be possibly to see Yuzhen from Wangyue Building’s roof?”
When he couldn’t climb anymore, he took a break and leaned on the railing to rest. Zhao Li looked upwards and dejectedly called out, “Yue-er“
That person could never bear to see him hurt. How could she be willing for him to be so tired?
Sigh. Keep climbing. She was probably mad at him and wanted to see him climb up to see her. Zhao Li couldn’t help but laugh. Really, it felt quite scary to witness a woman getting mad.
The building was very quiet. When Zhao Li finally climbed up to the doors of Pengyue’s room, he smiled out of happiness. But, he put away his smile and said, “Aren’t you going to come over and help this emperor up? This emperor’s legs are already broken. This emperor doesn’t want to break his hands too!”
No one answered him. Zhao Li leaned against the side of the door and laughed. “Oldest imperial brother’s people are going to enter the palace. If you don’t leave with me now, it’ll be too late.”
However, the person on the bed still didn’t respond to him. Zhao Li sighed. Keeping the smile off his face, he resumed crawling. As he crawled, he angrily rebuked her. Pengyue was short-tempered. Just wait, with him scolding her like this, she was sure to jump out to refute him!
But, he had already waited so long this time. Why was she refusing to say a single word of retort?
Zhao Li opened his eyes wide and smiled. “It’s really difficult when a woman is throwing a tantrum, ah.”
This time, he was willing to say sweet words to coax her. Really. Whatever she wanted, he would give it to her. As long as… as long as she woke up and looked at him. As long as she… wiped the blood on his face for him.
This emperor hadn’t come yet. Why did you leave first?
Translator Ramblings: Even though its tragic, I really liked Zhao Li and Pengyue’s story.
And, I like the imagery of a fallen Zhao Li climbing up the stairs and reading his descent into delusion, especially when he smiles in happiness. I think it makes it all the more tragic that Zhao Li already found out that Pengyue was dead before he crawled up all those stairs in chapter 417, but he just didn’t want to admit it. Zhao Li does a lot of bad things, but by the end of this chapter, I got a bit teary.
What do you guys think of Zhao Li and Pengyue’s story?