Chapter 3120: Innocence 41
“But I don’t want you to be with another girl! My heart will ache, I’ll feel jealous. Brother, I like you, I can’t help it. Wouldn’t it be good if I could control it? But I like you, and I can’t control it at all…”
His body stiffened, and his energy seemed to be depleted. His arms fell weakly to his sides. He raised his head and wanted to hug me, but he didn’t dare to touch me.
When I saw his helpless expression, my heart also ached. Tears slid down my cheeks, and seeped through the corners of my lips. I could taste the bitterness. “When I was young, I was so glad that you were my brother. I had the best brother in the world. But now, I don’t want you to be my brother at all…”
“Stop crying, okay?”
Dongyu held my face and gently wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes. The heartache in his eyes was something that even he didn’t realize.
As I cried, his eyes turned bloodshot too. He had never been good with expressing emotions. No matter how happy or sad he was, he always looked calm and collected.
He wanted to hold me, but he didn’t dare reach out to touch me. He wanted to take my hand, but he couldn’t muster the courage.
He had once said that no matter what difficulties one faced, one has to courageously press forward.
But when I embraced him with burning passion and told him I liked him, he couldn’t muster the courage to reciprocate.
Perhaps he understood, more deeply than I did, that some things are ultimately futile, regardless of courage.
It wasn’t as if one could pluck the moon from the sky, simply by having courage.
Hence, some things are destined to be unattainable.
Some types of love are destined to bear no fruit.
That night, on the way home as I sat in the backseat of the bicycle, instead of wrapping my arms around his waist the way I used to, I gently tugged on the corner of his shirt.
The evening breeze had grown stronger, and I had trouble keeping my eyes open.
I repeatedly weighed Dongyu’s words, but I didn’t want to take any of them to heart.
In those few days, Dongyu seemed to have become indifferent towards me. Never in my life up till then had he been so cold towards me.
Even when he picked me up after school, he didn’t act as close as he used to.
He stopped playing the piano with me. In the end, I did not even manage to master a particular complicated segment in “Jiangnan”.
I had no choice but to change the recital piece through my teacher, to a song I was more confident of: The Autumn Whisper.
My spirits were low, and I didn’t know what I had done wrong.
Unconsciously, in the midst of my apprehension, the school celebration event crept up on me.
The night before, I was so nervous that I tossed and turned. I couldn’t sleep. There was anticipation, nervousness, and most of all, anxiety over the school anniversary event.
The school’s anniversary celebration was on the weekend. On this day, number 2 key high school was open to the public. Even students from other schools could enter the school for a visit.
Su Qi said that he’d bring his gang to support me. I was happy to hear that and asked if Dongyu was coming.
He said that Dongyu would not be coming because he was busy.
When I heard that, my mood darkened again.
Many days had passed, but he was still avoiding me. Was he planning to avoid me forever?
I was a little afraid that the distance between us would gradually grow, I wondered if he knew that in this world, he was the closest person to me.
I could lose the world, but not him.
Even if things went back to what it was and nothing more.
I had a feeling that ever since that night, there was suddenly a barrier between us that was hard to cross.