Chapter 35
Sorry guys for posting late today! ＞﹏＜
TLC: Lilies
Editing: Mashiro
One of the so-called definitions of being close friends was losing track of time when talking to them.
After saying goodbyes to the last of the ladies on YY, Qi Jing glanced at the lower right corner of the window; he didn’t realise it was already 10 PM. He felt invigorated at the thought that someday in the future, he would be able to compete with the Great God on equal footing.
Qi Jing logged out of the chatting software and placed his headphones on the side. Then he walked towards the study room’s door on tiptoes, afraid of disturbing Shen Yan’s rest.
The door to the study was open, and a trace of faint yellow light seeped through the crack of the door—seems like he’s still awake.
Qi Jing paced for a while before the doors, hesitating if he should go in or not. But ultimately he couldn’t help himself and knocked on the door twice. At the moment Shen Yan seemed to be working on his computer. The sound of knocking on the door interrupted the sound of typing, and he turned the chair he was sitting on to face the door: “Please come in.”
Qi Jing opened the door and came in. The study seemed to be a little smaller than the bedroom; two large bookcases spanned across an entire wall and the remaining space still had to occupy a desk together with a chair, so naturally, there wasn’t much space left for a bed. What Shen Yan called a “small bed” was in fact very small, only a little bit wider than a usual sofa. There was barely any space for one to turn their body and even the layout of the bed such as pillows and blankets were of the bare minimum.
It was so minimal that it made Qi Jing feel uneasy inside: “Maybe… it would be better for me to sleep on the smaller bed?”
Shen Yan was surprised. He seemed to have guessed what was on Qi Jing’s mind, and laughed it off: “Don’t worry, I used to sleep here once in a while, so I’m used to it.”
“Still…”
“You’re a patient. ” Shen Yan gave his final word.
A patient. Just this word was enough to make any argument Qi Jing could come up with weak.
He knew that he wouldn’t be able to win against Shen Yan, left with no other alternative, Qi Jing could only give up on his insistence as he walked over.
An open email could be seen on the computer screen. Qi Jing glanced over—it seemed to be work-related, as it used a lot of medical jargon. Shen Yan followed his line of sight and looked on the screen, then he explained, “It’s our clinic’s policy. Sometimes, after a pet has recovered and is taken back by their owner, their situation might become unstable, and even lead to a relapse. So the owners often ask questions concerning the follow-up treatment—in such cases I would help with answering them.”
So that’s how it is, Qi Jing thought, he really is a professional, even though he could have just stopped caring about them once they left the clinic.
That’s why I would be so smitten with him—that thought made the corners of his mouth quirk up a bit. Qi Jing didn’t say anything, and just smiled lightly as he took a stool and sat by Shen Yan’s side. The patient and focused look on that man’s face as he worked was Qi Jing’s favourite thing to watch..
“I will finish writing this email soon, so please, wait for a while.” There was a trace of apologetic tone in Shen Yan’s voice.
“Don’t worry, take your time. I’ll be just watching from the side.” Qi Jing had no thoughts of rushing Shen Yan at all. With a smile on his face, he watched him as Shen Yan finished writing the email, checking it and then finally sending it. After sending the email, the screen display cut back to the mailbox home page. Suddenly, among the list of folders he saw a folder marked with a star. Not only that—this folder was named after him.
—”Qi Jing”
At that moment, his heart skipped a beat, then it began thumping in a flurry.
… At one glance it was obvious what was inside. So all of those replies he had sent out before were all kept in this place.
When Shen Yan realised what he was looking at, he froze for a moment. He straightened his back, feeling somewhat awkward, his face strained as he tried to find a position that wouldn’t make him feel like he was sitting on pins and needles. “Those are.. the emails you have sent to me before. I was afraid I would miss some of them, so I gathered all of them here.”
Qi Jing’s eyes were focused on that folder for a long time.
He was a professional in the media industry, so his name appeared in countless different places—the news, forums, commentary works, production crews… But not once had he felt such value coming from his name, so vividly like the one on the folder before him.
“Don’t you think that there’s still&#k2026; one email missing from that folder?” He felt a slight tang in his nose, and his smile was a little bit forced.
The folder lacked one email, the final one.
Hearing him say that, Shen Yan seemed to have understood something. He jerked his head up, meeting his eyes. Qi Jing looked back at him without evading his eyes. Perhaps it could be because it was wet with tears, the light reflecting in his eyes flickered lightly, like the reflection of sunlight on the surface of the ripples of a lake, calm, yet a magnificent sight to behold.
“If you got the reply now, would you receive it?” He asked.
He moved his knee slightly, bumping against Shen Yan’s knee, leaving them to rest on each other. It was like a very immature and clumsy, even childish inquiry.
Shen Yan looked at Qi Jing silently, ultimately not uttering a single word. After all, he had been waiting for that reply for nearly a month.
That feeling was just as if he was waiting for the last bus all alone in the darkness on a rainy night, without any light, and without a watch to check the time. Just as he was thinking whether he had already missed it, a bus with its two bright headlights emerged from behind a curtain of rain. In a moment the world was illuminated, he instead found himself in bewilderment, unable to take a step forward for a long time.
“Shen Yan,” Qi Jing leaned his body forward, his face lowering over the place their knees touched, asking once again, “I want to write a reply. Will you accept it?”
In his line of sight, Shen Yan’s knee moved away from his.
It wasn’t to put distance between them, but to let them get even closer. In an instant, his shoulders were held carefully by a pair of arms that pulled him to the warm chest before him, encompassing him in an embrace. His lowered head nicely nested right below that man’s chin, and he could feel that person rubbing gently against his hair.
“I’ve said before, as long as you’re willing to read it, I will continue to write.” Shen Yan’s low voice came from above, landing right in the depths of his heart, “If you want to respond, I will certainly… I will certainly make sure to treasure it well.”
Qi Jing chuckled as he lowered his head, sniffing at the same time. “No matter what my reply is?”
“No matter what your reply is.”
“What if I said something like ‘Doctor Shen, I have already given you 12 point’, or ‘Doctor Shen, you have passed your probation’?” Qi Jing took advantage of the fact that neither of them could see each other’s face and sneaked in that question while biting his lip with a smile on his face.
As expected, Shen Yan didn’t reply at first.
In place of a response was the gradual tightening of his arms around Qi Jing. He didn’t put too much strength in his arms but they were very secure and they even started trembling.
“About that, you can give me your reply at a later time.” Both Shen Yan’s reply and the amount of seriousness it contained were beyond Qi Jing’s imagination. Just because Qi Jing asked him to wait… “Think it over carefully before giving me a reply. Just like how I waited for the email from you, I won’t give you any pressure; I will continue waiting for it patiently for as long as it’s necessary.”
However, Shen Yan didn’t need to wait for a reply anymore.
Qi Jing opened his work email, found that folder named “To be deleted” and moved the emails from inside.
He transferred all of the important emails he had received from Shen Yan and placed them in a new folder called “Shen Yan”. Then, he opened that last, eleven words long email, replying with only a single word: “Okay.”
One word was more than sufficient as the reply.
And as about the other reply… He would properly deliberate over it as Shen Yan said, putting more thought into just how he would answer him.
In the span of a month, he was now able to send the email from the recipient’s bedroom. Not only that, the recipient was also waiting for his reply in the next room—it felt so incredible. Qi Jing glanced at the ‘Sent’ email box, making sure his email was indeed already sent. Now, he was in a completely lighthearted mood.
“I have sent my reply!” He shouted towards the study room.
After a while, Shen Yan’s response could be heard: “I’ve received it.”
The burden on Qi Jing’s heart was gone, and it felt as if his whole being was now more relaxed, his emotions unable to settle down for a long time. He was about to stand up and go to the study, but he didn’t expect that Shen Yan would be a step ahead of him, entering the bedroom before he could leave. Shen Yan held a notebook that seemed to look like a diary in his hand. He stood before Qi Jing, seemingly wanting to say something, but stopped and instead passed that notebook to him in silence.
“What is this?” Qi Jing asked curiously while lowering his head and opening that notebook.
The title on the first page made him freeze for full three seconds: “The animals’ recovery”. It was almost the same as the title of the email he had received before.
There was a date written under the title: it was exactly the day when he received the last email from Shen Yan.
As he continued to flip through the diary, there was an entry for every single day, all of it describing the various animals received by the hospital, both cats and dogs. As long as Shen Yan was responsible for them, he would note everything down in the same style as in the emails. He meticulously described their health status tirelessly and in detail.
Until today, Shen Yan had written almost a month’s worth of diary entries, accumulating a thick stack of paper.
Qi Jing looked at the man before him, seemingly shocked. “You… You’ve been writing… for all this time?”
“Mhm.” Shen Yan nodded his head lightly, and replied in a low voice, “When I didn’t receive your reply at that time, I thought you were probably busy with your work, or you were perhaps delayed by other matters, so I decided to write it all down first. After that… I kept writing and writing, and couldn’t stop, waiting for the day I could input it into the computer and send it for you to read.”
What if I kept my resolve to act in spite of my feelings, and never replied to that email?
Qi Jing didn’t dare to think about that question. If he thought about it any further, he would probably have to bear that sense of guilt for his whole life.
“You’re really silly.” After a long while, Qi Jing could only utter these three words in a daze. He then heaved a long sigh, unable to stop a sad smile from coming while looking at that diary. His tone was the same as when he had called himself a fool when he sat before the computer back then, but he simply felt his heart aching for Shen Yan.
But the person in question was still as persistent as before; he said slowly: “I’m not silly, didn’t you give me your reply already?”
Qi Jing felt a whirlpool of emotions inside him. He had to try to control his surging emotions as best as he could. He breathed deeply, then forced out a laugh. “Mhm… I will read it thoroughly, and just like before, I will write for you my thoughts on it.”
However, Shen Yan gently took away the diary from his hands and closed it.
“Not now, what you now need is rest. You can read it when you get up tomorrow.” He reminded Qi Jing about the time; turns out it was already nearing 11 PM. Ever since he found out about Qi Jing’s previous terrifying rest schedule, Shen Yan made it a point in his mind to make him go to bed earlier so he could adjust his biological clock back to normal.
“Shen Yan,” Suddenly, Qi Jing called out to stop him. At the time his hand touched that diary, he also grasped Shen Yan’s hand, “Can you read a portion for me? You can think of it as a bedtime story.”
Shen Yan froze, stupefied—he didn’t expect that Qi Jing would make such a request. His hand holding the diary loosened its grip subconsciously; the diary was back in Qi Jing’s hands, together with his hand.
“Do you still remember how I used the content of your first email as my commentary in the report?” Qi Jing didn’t let go of either and made a step forward, shortening the distance between them to less than half a metre.
“… I do.”
“At the time you had said that my voice was very emotive.” Bringing up the old matters, Qi Jing still remembered his burning hot ears back then. He couldn’t help but lower his head and laugh a little before saying, “But I still think that it would sound more emotive if the one to read it was the author himself.”
Shen Yan stood unmoving—but Qi Jing could feel his gaze begin to soften.
So he leaned even closer. The diary touched their chest’s—his, and Shen Yan’s—as not only the warmth of their fingers, but also their undulating breath mixed together under the tangerine light.
“That’s why, Geese Fly North-sama, may I ask you for your version?” Qi Jing raised his eyebrow and laughed.
After turning off the main light in the room, leaving only a floor lamp emitting a clean yet not too dazzling light. Qi Jing quietly laid under the covers, smiling faintly as he looked attentively at the man sitting beside the bed.
The bed in the bedroom was much bigger than the one in study. Lying on it felt extremely warm and cozy, but most importantly—no matter whether it was the pillow or the bedding, everything was covered with Shen Yan’s smell. Qi Jing felt that he wouldn’t be able to find suitable words to describe that smell, despite his many years of news writing. In short, it was a very soothing smell, one that helped people fall asleep peacefully. It was the one and only scent, unique to Shen Yan.
Even if it was only a psychological effect, he was confident that he would be able to sleep until he woke up naturally, unlike before when he would have to go through the torment of frequently waking up in the middle of the night.
Shen Yan wasn’t in a hurry to start; he even reached out a hand to carefully tuck Qi Jing in bed.
But Qi Jing reached out his hand from beneath the quilt and gently rubbed against Shen Yan’s palm with his index finger while keeping a straight face. Shen Yan laughed helplessly, he could only abandon his intention of keeping the diary in his hand while reading, so he simply placed it on his thigh.
“Can I start?” He asked, as modest and polite as he had been during their run-through before.
“Do you know what I’m feeling right now?” Qi Jing didn’t respond, but threw a question without any rhyme or reason. The smile on his face didn’t fade, so it was hard to tell whether he was being serious, or just fooling around.
“What are you feeling?” Shen Yan asked softly.
“I feel like a producer who got the exclusive rights to you.” Qi Jing narrowed his eyes slightly, like a fox, looking lost in thoughts.
Exactly.
It was the feeling that he only belongs to him… and no one else.
Under the thin layer of fiery light, Qi Jing saw corners of Shen Yan’s mouth pulling up into a smile, as if he was laughing but without making a sound.
With that gentle smile, he opened the diary, and started reading the content of the first page
“6th September, in Cage 6, labrador dog, two months old little guy. At the time it was hospitalised, it was already coughing for two days, and the symptoms of retching appeared. Its owner said that the little fellow didn’t have an appetite these few days, and it seemed to have problems with digestion. The initial diagnosis is that it might be an inflammatory bowel disease caused by bacterial infection…”
Qi Jing listened to him in silence. From beginning to the end, his eyes stayed on Shen Yan’s face.
He observed how Shen Yan would knit his brows slightly when he was reading about the more serious conditions.
He observed how, when Shen Yan was describing the naughty side of the animals, his eyes overflowed with affection.
He observed the serious expression on Shen Yan’s face, his mouth parting and closing as he read each word, completely focused on narrating the story.
The voice Qi Jing was hearing was exactly as he had imagined before. Deep, upright, gentle, buried within, rich emotions that were not showy nor obtrusive, silently seeping in, permeating through his very being. These were genuine feelings coming from Shen Yan’s heart, unblemished by a single bit of insincerity.
“Shen Yan.” He suddenly called the name of a man sitting by his pillow.
The finger that was clasped in the other party’s hand through all that time moved, leaving neither deep nor shallow mark as if he was making up his mind.
“Even though… I really want to have the exclusive rights to you, that’s very selfish.” Qi Jing said smiling, as if he was just mumbling to himself.
“Actually, what I really hope for is to make your voice heard by more people, for it to touch the hearts of many more. So that one day… I can rightfully stand by your side and act in an audio drama with you.”
T/N
Lucilla: Did I say before that the two of them are too pure for this world? No? Then I’m saying it right now. Although Qi Jing’s pretty naughty at times, I swear, his heart is pure! (look at how he reacts every time Shen Yan jokes or smiles at him!!)
Lilies: can’t stop, won’t stop uwuing
Mashiro: Both are just too much, they are too sweet for my heart to take!!! I think my heart is going to have premature diabetes.