Rufus's embrace tightened further when he heard what she had just said.
"I will not allow you to jump. If you do, I will tear down the Qin family house and your company!"
Rufus shrieked at Cassandra on the spur of the moment. The domineering way in which he spoke
would have made her laugh normally but she just wasn't in the right mood now.
In the end, she forced a bitter smile, underlying her soberness and bewilderment.
"I remember, when my family wanted me to marry Lionel, and I strongly opposed it. On that night, I
went to the roof of my parents' house with this unicorn and spent the entire night sulking. I remember,
the wind blew so strongly but still wasn't enough to blow my miseries away.
I kept asking myself, why it had to be me? Why did I have to make such a compromise?
Ever since I was young, I received less care and love from my parents as compared to my sister. Why,
then, did I have to bear the responsibility in such a situation?"
Cassandra poured out her heart, her eyes half-closed, mellowed by tears. She kept thinking of how her
family treated her when she was young and the tears started to flow out in streams.
"I stared at the sky from night to dawn, till the moon and stars faded and the first light appeared, till the
sun rays pierced through the clouds and illuminated the sky.
Then suddenly, I heard sounds of colliding tableware coming from the kitchen and my mom speaking in
the background. Eventually, the smell of breakfast wafted through the air."
She started to calm down. Her tears left traces on her cheeks even after the wind dried them away. Her
eyes turned wistful, as she stared down at the lights all over the city, which looked blurry through her
wet eyes.
"That was when I realized something. I realized I couldn't die like that. I thought that even though my
parents never loved me enough, they were still my parents, after all. And they were the ones who had
granted me life and brought me into this wonderful world. I thought, if I chose to end my life, I would
never be able smell the breakfast cooked by my mother again, never be able to hear those lively noises
again, and never be able to see another sunrise."
She paused for a moment, then turned her head in Rufus's direction, looking directly into his eyes.
His eyes were dark and deep, harboring emotions that were beyond her to decipher. She had never
seen him like that.
"Rufus..." she continued, her voice seemed to contain hints of an impending confession, "I am scared
of being alone. I have been alone in this villa most of the time. There is no other sound but that of my
own footsteps and no body else around me but my own shadow. I feel so lonely.
I keep wondering when you'd be back. This place feels and smells like home only when you are
around. Only then, I don't feel lonely."
Rufus gazed at her intently, his eyes flickering.
He had never heard such words coming from Cassandra before. She always came off as a strong and
independent person who didn't need to rely on anyone for her own happiness. The thought of her
feeling lonely in a quiet house never crossed his mind.
"I'm so sorry, Cassandra. I promise I'll be home more often," Rufus said softly.
The guilt engulfed him. He saw her loneliness; he saw her grief. Now, he felt more remorseful than
Cassandra.
"It doesn't matter, Rufus. I'm used to it," she said, not sure whether she was consoling him or herself.
A broken smile crept up her lips, somehow making her look like a somber angel.
Rufus clung to her, hugging her tightly, sitting next to her. After a while, she pushed him away and
slowly got up.
The dawn had transited into a bright morning. The sun had surfaced completely above the horizon,
glowing on the two of them, full of warmth and hope.
"Rufus, I have decided to move out," Cassandra announced, quietly.
She gazed at his sunlit face, determined not to dither no matter what he said.
This was the decision she'd come to after struggling the entire night mentally. She couldn't keep herself
in such a miserable state anymore. For so long, she had indulged herself blindly in her love for Rufus
and in the process, had completely forgotten who she was.
He'd come late in the night and leave early in the morning. His short-lived presence would leave a trace
of warmth and the smell of his body. That was the most of what she got to spend her day with while she
longed for him terribly.
Sometimes, he would even leave right in the middle of a conversation, or dinner, when someone
reached out to him. She couldn't stand it anymore.
"No way! I don't allow it!" he shouted, getting up quickly.
His face turned grim; his heart seemed to drop in ice water.
He had held her in his arms in front of so many people. Everyone had almost figured out they were
together. Why would she ask to move out at such a point?
"I don't care whether you allow it or not. I have to do it. This place is too far from work. I want to shift to
somewhere closer."
Cassandra had expected Rufus to react like this, and hence was already determined to stay strong and
stick to her decision.
"If it's about getting a taxi everyday, I can arrange a car and a driver for you," Rufus offered.
Rufus was growing impatient. He tried to address whatever her concern was right away but that wasn't
what Cassandra was worried about.
"Rufus, I don't want you car and your driver. All I need is to find a place of my own. Every corner of this
place reminds me of you and you are never around."
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