Next day, I go with Raze at his investment company while I'm bringing my digital pad and do my work
with him around. He is busy yet we manage to have fun and talk most of the time like our lips didn't get
tired to talk and move. Sadly, the borrowed time will almost up.
This is the 2nd day now, he free his time with me so we play arcade games and he won a huge teddy
bear at the dark section, he is so good.
There's no dull moment with someone we love, a moment with Raze.
Every night I can't sleep though I usually feel sleepy at his embrace, instead of sleeping I end up
staring at his face and memorize it then I'll silently cry like crazy. I'm really killing myself.
The 3rd day, I woke up first while Raze was tightly sleeping. I play a music, it's loud and enough to
make him fully awake. I kissed him and hug him tight then we roll over at the bed and exchange
morning greetings. Suddenly, a nightcore music play. I lower the volume and stand in front of him,
offering my left hand to be hold.
"You and I
We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky
With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide
So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes
Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song
I'm just a sad song
With you, I fall
It's like I'm leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall
With you, I'm a beautiful mess
It's like we're standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge
So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes
Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song
You're the perfect melody
The only harmony I wanna hear
You're my favorite part of me
With you standing next to me
I've got nothing to fear
Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song" I sang and didn't finish it before I cry.
"Love, what's wrong?" He ask and hug me.
"I love you Raze, I love you so much love." I answer, yeah! I guess loving him at this time is so wrong.
I'm doing things to make everyday special. We cook and bake together, he taught me how to drive a
car, we go to the gym together, he bring me to watch a motorcycle race and at the forth day we check
the top view, riding at the helicopter where he is the one who pilot it which amazed me so much then
we work from home after that.
ON THE FIFTH DAY, we watch horror movies which is my first time, play with the huskies and around
4pm we prepare to attend his friend's birthday party and there I saw him play a piano again. He is really
talented.
Then here we go, it's the 6th day. We do a vlog for his account and the content was "Satisfying my
girlfriend and Q and A" he just show me some toys and let me play with it. I didn't really have enough
strength today knowing that I'll go the day after tomorrow but this video will be a part of our memories
so I do my best to enjoy it with him.
Time is really good at making people stay away and hurt. Argh!! My crazy thoughts again. We play
computer games together and swim at the pool. That's so much fun for the near end.
I decide something already and what I'm planning to do was go successfully smooth. We made love for
the second time around. He is trying to stop me knowing that he promised himself yet I do all my best
to temp him then we both end up hearing the sweet beat of our moan, the rhythm and melody of our
movements until we both achieve our orgasm. I was reserved for him to be my first and the last.
I can still feel his lips upon me.
Finally, the last day... It's breakfast in bed. After that I prepare myself, I told him that I'm going to meet
Cynthia and he let but he will drive for me and fetch me after that so we can go after and watch on
cinema. I want to say goodbye to Cynthia.
I talk to her for almost two hours then booked a ticket for my flight online and contact Raze. Here we
are now, watching a comedy movie.
I lay at his chest while he wrap his arms around my shoulders. He is laughing loudly but I cannot laugh.
I look at him and I suddenly cry.
"Oh? Love, why you're crying? Look, that's funny!" He said, pointing the screen.
"I'm just happy love, thanks for everything" I whisper then he wipe my tears and kiss my forehead. I'm
going to miss this but I can't wish for more, I just want him to be happy though I'll leave.
"Let's enjoy, okay?"
"Yeah!" Then I nod. I booked a flight exactly 5am tomorrow, my heart is totally broken. It's hurts.
Dear Raze,
This is the reason why I'm always crying though we're happy because leaving you is such a real hell.
Always yours,
Lorence
He was tired so he sleep early while I'm here, making a digital art for him, a remembrance and a last
gift. I took him a photo while sleeping, I'm gonna missed him.
Raze,
When I first saw you I actually hate you yet I admire you too. I thought I can say 'I do' but fate won't
allow us, it's like we're in parallel lines and won't cross again. I love you so much but your future much
be clear and safe with Sabrina.
I'm not giving you to her but I trust her to take good care of you. I may leave but I'll left my heart, that's
always yours my love. I'm praying for your triple success. I love you.
Cath♥
After I finish the digital art, I pull a chair and sat beside the bed so I can look at him at the perfect view.
I'm tracing the lines of his face and stole him a kiss then suddenly my tears silently flow again. I don't
wanna sleep because this will be the last time, my last time to stare at him meaningfully like this. It's
already 1am when I decided to sleep then I set an alarm so I woke up around 3 am and pack my
things. After that I go at the servants quarter and cry infront of them.
They're all crying but that can't hold me back,they help me pull my suitcases and mother Sharn call
Sebastian to accompany me to the airport.
"Mother Sharn, please give this letter to Raze tomorrow or later if he'll find me. Tell him I give up, you
know what to say... just don't tell him about his dad and Mr. Davis do to me and my family. Everyone
thank you so much, I love y'all. I'm going to miss you guys." Then we hugged each other dramatically
before I get inside the car.
Everything made me cry and Seb again hand me a box of tissue like that's his only role. Gush!
I can't believe that I'm leaving already. Leaving my heart behind or else I'll bring it broken.
~~~
After a long wait at the airport the passengers from Cazila to Lahzon are being called.
I bet Raze still didn't notice my absence on his side.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned off the fasten seatbelt sign, and you may now move
around the cabin. However, we always recommend to keep your seatbelt fastened while you're seated.
In a few moments, the flight attendants will be passing around the cabin to offer you hot or cold drinks,
as well as your breakfast. Enjoy the flight. Thank you!" I just listened but my mind was just half
awakened.
"Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. We've already started our descent procedure into
Lahzon Airport. We expected to land at 6:30 am,10 minutes before our schedule time. If you want to
adjust your watch, it's 6am in Lahzon now. The weather is sunny. We wish you a pleasant stay in
Lahzon and we hope to see you again very soon. On behalf of our all crew, thank you for choosing our
company as your airline today" I listened carefully to the announcement to distract myself but I can't,
I'm still thinking of him... the man of my heart.
My love, I don't know if you can reach me. I know you'll wake up reading my goodbye note and you'll
hate me but they're right. Sometimes love means letting go.
I love you my señorito♥
Then again, a warm fluid flow slowly at my face.
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