An abandoned child can never forget the pain and suffering which he had to go through. Wounds have a habit of healing with time but the psychological scar left in the mind because of the pain they endured, that scar never goes away. And whenever you touch that scar, even after healing, it'll hurt like hell.
Guilt is suffering in itself. Especially when you didn't deserve that guilt in the first place. A mistake whether done in levity or not is still a mistake. And the mistake of taking a life, that's one of the biggest mistakes one could do in life.
In this world filled with hypocrites, one often can't retain their innocence. We were born innocent once. But no one dies as an innocent person. Our mistakes and guilts accompany us to the grave.
Xu Mey also wasn't able to retain her innocence. To fight with devils, you have to either become one or wear a facade of being one. Even after years, Xu Mey wasn't sure about whether she was wearing a facade of a devil or she'd become one. But she knew one thing; she was going to make people believe that she had indeed become a devil.
Ye Jie sat back on a chair near him with Xu Mey still in his arms. He hugged her body from behind while she sat comfortably on his thighs. "Shuang-Ge is actually-" She intended to clear up her relationship with Fu Shuang but Ye Jie interrupted her.
"Shhh..." He started. "Let's take it a bit slower. We have the whole life ahead of us to know everything." He said. It was hard enough for him to even fathom her pain, how much she must have endured to even talk about it again? He didn't want her to suffer. Not anymore.
Xu Mey cocked her head a bit to look into his brown eyes and asked, "What if I couldn't talk about the rest after tonight?"
He smiled and stroked her hair lovingly. "Then I don't want to hear the rest." He replied sincerely.
Xu Mey was in deep thought while staring into his eyes. "Ah Jie!"
"Hmm.." He hummed in reply.
"Even after seeing that video and even after me telling you everything, how can you still be so calm. Don't you feel repulsed by me? Don't you hate me now?" She inquired even when she was scared to hear his reply. 'What if he really felt repulsed by me? What if he really hated me?' Those were her thoughts.
He wasn't surprised that she knew about the video which Xu Liqing sent him. Ye Jun had already spilled the bean when he threatened him during the day. "When I saw that video, I was angry. Or maybe frustrated. I don't know." He spoke softly hugging her even closer to himself. "But that night was the first time, I realized how much of an important person you'd become in my life. I felt like losing you would mean me losing my own sanity or the reason to live. Baby, I can never be repulsed by you. I can hate myself but you..." He touched her forehead with his own. "I can't hate you. Not even in my wildest dreams."
Xu Mey was overwhelmed by his words yet again. "I love you and I can't help it. Before anything else in my life, you'll always come first. And I don't plan on changing that. Even if my own reality changes one day, even if I accept my real identity one day, baby, you're the only constant in my life that I want. That I need the most."
Xu Mey felt her eyes stinging as she bit her lips to control her tears from trickling down. "I know that your guilt is hurting you inside but seeing you in pain is killing me inside." Xu Mey covered his lips with her fingers shaking her head. Hearing him talk about dying made her feel scared all over again. Ye Jie smiled and held her hand in his own saying, "I might not be able to pull you out of guilt but I can promise you that I'll never ever abandon you."
"Things that I love to do these days are; holding your small hands in my own, seeing that cute dimple at the side of your right cheek, holding your slender body in my arms, and..." He held the back of her neck and pulled her face towards his own locking her soft lips with his own. Before he lost himself in her sweet taste, he pulled back a bit and said, "And I love to kiss you."
At this point, Xu Mey lost all her restraints over her tears as they streamed down her face. She was feeling overcome with feelings of being cherished and it was rather new to her. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing could come out of her mouth. She encircled her arms around his neck and caught his lips between her owns smothering them with passion.
She started by nibbling on his bottom lip making his gasp and taking advantage of the opening, she pushed her tongue inside his mouth. The moment that the tip of his tongue stroked her own tongue, she quivered.
He was tentatively tasting her with his moist and warm tongue. The tangled tongues, rapid breathing, soft moans breaking the silence of night were telling the story of an indescribably intense kiss.
When they pulled away, both were out of breath. Xu Mey placed both her hands on his cheeks, looked into his bright eyes, and said, "Ah Jie, do you know what I hate these days?" He frowned and shook his head. "I hate it when you don't do all the things that you love."
Ye Jie was taken aback at her words but soon a pleasant smile bloomed on his handsome face making his eyes crinkle up. Seeing his beautiful smile, Xu Mey thought, 'Even if I were to die tomorrow, I'll have no regrets anymore.'
She slowly moved her lips closer to his ear and said, "Ah Jie, I really, really, really like you."