By the candlelight, a few days out from Imagawa Yoshimoto's beloved castle, Gengyo sat, quill in hand, studying a map. He would stare at it for a while, before his hand would dart across the page, and he would etch a series of characters, making notes. He wanted knowledge of every bit of useable farmland and notable settlement in all of Mikawa.
As he worked, his unreasonable hopes for consolidation lay in Imagawa's supposed incompetence. He prayed that the man – in all his wisdom – had neglected to truly see to his land, and had overlooked certain valuable nuggets in the process. Nuggets that would be of use in the weeks to come. Of course, he knew the folly in such hopes, for there were plenty of competent – and greedy – officials under him.
It's not looking particularly promising, he thought to himself, biting his lip. It would take time to process everything, and inform them of new leadership. To reestablish taxes and to ensure cooperation. All of it was necessary for raising and supporting an army. His achievements would help so far as quelling the wrath of the people, for at least he had presented himself as a man of talent.
As he sat there, enthralled in his work, a certain man made his way to the entrance of his tent. "My Lord." The man called out, not even touching the heavy flap of waxed cloth that marked the entrance.
He thought he recognized the voice, but by his mind, there were few with reason to visit him so late. "Come in." He set down his quill, and put his hands together.
The entrance trembled and was pushed aside, revealing a bearded man, hard of face with serious eyes and an intimidating height. "Togashi… To what do I owe this pleasure? There is no need for the formality either."
Asking his questions he noted that Togashi had trouble meeting his gaze. He put his hands together inside his blue kimono, and stared at the floor, struggling to find the right words. "I've served you loyally for a while now."
"That you have. For a very long time. We've been through much together." Gengyo agreed, but somewhat hesitantly, not sure if he liked where this is going.
"In that last battle, I took thirteen separate wounds. It took three hours to stitch me up. When I awake in the morning, I can hardly move. I have to roll out of bed on my side, and carefully make my way to my feet, else the stitches will open up. And the pain… the pain is something else."
"I… I'm aware that many have suffered as a result of the conflicts. If you have need, I can find you a better healer." Gengyo squinted as he looked at him. He valued Togashi immensely. He was one of his trusted commanders. To lose him would leave a wound of its own, and yet the way things were going… It did not look promising.
"There are men amongst us with lost limbs. The pain is worse for them. They spend the entire night screaming, even after they're given herbs for the pain."
"Togashi, what is it that you're trying to say exactly?"
At the sudden firmness of Gengyo's voice, Togashi's gaze flickered upwards, and his hands fell down to his side. His fists clenched, and he said what was truly on his mind. "You're a good man, Miura. A military man. I think you can go on to win many more battles. In fact, I can't see you ever losing. Yet, I do not feel so immortal or unkillable. It is a wonder I am still alive today. With the pain, I can not help but ask myself if this is all truly worth it?"
"I intend to unify the land, Togashi. There will be less blood under one ruler. At least, for a while. This era of warlords has to end, by someone's hand. Do you think that to be false?"
"No." Came the sharp reply. "My issue is not with your goals or the cause that you fight for. If not you, someone else certainly will do it. It is better a good man than a tyrant… though it is possible to become both."
"You think me to be walking along the edge of tyranny?" Gengyo questioned, tilting his head. He was not averse to criticism, especially not from men he respected.
"That's not it at all. I just… I just can't justify risking my life without having truly achieved anything. I am a commander in your army, and that is a great honour. But in truth, I am still no one. In the eyes of the world, I am still the same Togashi that lay in Toda's cell. I am still weak and without true power. As you find your success, I can't help but compare myself to you. Miura, I am a selfish man. I am not ashamed to admit it. I need to establish wealth, and a family, otherwise when I go to the grave it will all be for nought. If I can not find that here, then I must go elsewhere."
Gengyo sat back in his seat, stunned, having been given that ultimatum. Have I not been giving my men wealth, for fighting for me? They receive their gold… But that hasn't changed since they first came. If it is Togashi speaking to me, then the others must feel the same. It is not Togashi who has been selfish, but me. Men strive for progression. The men I attract, anyway. Ambitious men.
Had he been alone, he might have slapped himself for his oversight. The land his conquered was not only his land, it was his men's. Coin was all well and good, but land, a home and a family, they were what truly mattered.
"Togashi… Come. Take a look at this map in front of me. Choose five thousand acres of land, and it's yours. I will handle the politics, you had merely need choose. I will put thought into how I shall better reward you, I have been too single-minded. You've given me much, and I will give you much in return. Every province we conquer, you will claim land from. As will the others." He pushed the map across the table towards him, carefully studying his response.