「Well, I get what you want to say.」
It was probably the first time that someone had preached this much to me with what they truly thought, devoid of facades or any of that crap.
「I'm relieved that's the case.」
Hinami Aoi had yet to tear down that expression that was like a reflection of the depths of her heart.
「But there are some things I don't understand.」
For this reason, I was unable to provide an appropriate response on my side. Positive or negative.
「I consider this game called Life a kusoge. I can provide as much basis as you like, and, moreover, I even hold a considerable amount of conviction in this belief.」
Tsuyo-charas benefit, yowa-charas are exploited. There are no simple, beautiful rules. It's a kusoge.
「Right.」
「That's why, what you say, that life is a kamige, or that it's all an excuse, or that it's the whining of a loser, those things I don't quite get.」
「Uhuh.」
「However…」
「However?」
As I recalled that Nakamura had laid the blame for his defeat on the game.
「Without putting in the effort, misrepresenting the loss by blaming it on the game is the most unsightly thing in the world, of that I'm in agreement. I too hate that kind of thing the most.」
When I said that, Hinami Aoi lifted the corners of her mouth into a wide grin.
「Heeh. As expected of nanashi.」
「But there are still cases where it truly is the game's fault. There are many games where you can overcome chara difference through technique, but, amongst them there also exist games where there are no ways to overturn chara difference.」
「Life is one of those 『games where there are no ways to overturn chara difference』, that's what you want to say, right?」
「That's right, that's why Life is a kusoge.」
「As per your inner thoughts, that is.」
「Possibly. Though, I certainly don't know how to look at Life in the same way that you do.」
「That's certainly the case.」
「Uhuh. Of course, that much is obvious. A person isn't really able to look at Life in the same way other human beings do. If it were a game, they would be able to do things like try out a tsuyo-chara themselves, but in Life there's no such thing as trying out another person's perspective. That's why, I have no choice but to believe in my own way of seeing things.」
「Right.」
I looked straight into Hinami's eyes.
「That, is my way of thinking.」
This time, there was clearly disappointment in Hinami Aoi's expression.
「……Is that so. If that's the case, never mind. In the end, you've decided to stubbornly—」
「But.」
I cut in.
「……But, just this time, I might be willing to listen to your side of things for just a little bit longer, is what I'm beginning to think.」
I willed myself to once more look at Hinami Aoi in the eyes. Ooh. Beautiful.
「And, why's that?」
「That's……」 I had to think for just a little while. 「That's because, what you're saying, how should I put this, resembles my beliefs too much. In spite of you being this kind of riajuu and this kind of beauty. If it's the words of some fellow resembling me, mightn't it be a bit useful for reference? That's one thing.」
「Hmph.」
「Well, that's not the biggest reason, though.」
「……Which is?」
Hinami Aoi gave me a look that was a mixture of both interest and doubt.
「That the one who's been saying these things to me is, the sole gamer in Japan that I acknowledge, 『NO NAME』.」
Saying so, I once again strengthened my gaze.
「…………」
「…………」
「……So uncool.」
Hm? Even though I'd been expecting a, Then it's decided!
「……Wait. 『Uncool』? What's with that?」
「I said it because even at the very end, you're awkwardly trying to show off. So uncool.」
「I had to muster all my courage to do that, you know. Have some sympathy!」
「I don't care. Furthermore, ultimately you haven't even said the important thing.」
「Show a little more regard for the struggles of the communicationally disabled, won’t you? I'm the type that grows when praised.」
「Have you done something that deserves some sort of praise? If anything, I'm disappointed. That this much is enough for nanashi to change his own opinion so easily.」
「Ha? Easily? Where do you get that from? Moreover, I haven't changed my opinion. I just thought it would be worthwhile listening to what you have to say for a little longer.」
「How is that different from changing it? To me, they look the same, though?」
「Wrong. I trust a gamer. Additionally, in Japan you're second placed. Which means to say, it's the fact that, of all people, the person who I'd next place my trust in after myself, came up to me and said 『There are things you don't know』. That's why for the time being I'll just try and listen to their story, that's all there is to it.」
「Isn't that what's called a change of opinion?」
「Like I said, that's wrong. For the time being I'll try listen to more of the contents, and then I'll confirm for myself whether or not I agree with them, isn't that all it is? It's still a long way away from implying acceptance. If I don't agree, I won't be accepting it, you know.」
「But you'll still listen for the time being, correct?」
「Well, yeah, that's right. I am nanashi. I know just how much how much blood-running effort goes into just one match of a game. So I've judged there's merit to listening.」
「……Hmmph……That's fine then.」
That's fine then?
Arguing this much, and being able to converse with a classmate without pausing, it's pretty impressive of me……is what one would think, but, really, within, I was treating this person as NO NAME rather than Hinami Aoi, so it probably wasn't at all that amazing.
「Then, teach them to me. The things you call this game's rules.」
And whether or not 『Life』 is truly worthy of being called a kamige.
「Haah. Tomozaki-kun, you really don't understand anything, do you. Didn't I say so? The rules intersect in a complicated way. There's no way they can be taught so easily.」
「They can't be taught? What's with that, that's different to what you said before, isn't it?」
「……Then I'll ask, when buying a new game, if you want to get good at that game, do you read the instruction booklet thoroughly?」
「What's that so suddenly?」
「Just answer the question. Do you?」
「……No, well, I do read the instruction booklet but, in order to get good at it I'd have to try playing. Without actually coming into contact with the game, I wouldn't be able to understand its essence.」
「Don't you think so? It's the same thing here.」
「The same thing?」
「You won't get good at the game by studying the instruction booklet. Life too is the same in that respect.」
「Life too?」 I thought for a moment, but faster than I could work out a response, Hinami spoke out.
「For a game, you'd try jump in without really reading the instruction booklet, right?」 I nodded. 「It's the same as that. Without playing, you won't get good.」
……No, isn't that strange? After all, aren't I trying to play right now?
「Wait just a moment, it's because I stumbled a lot after I tried to practice in Life, that things came to be this way then?」
「Precisely. Then, at times at which you're stumbling in a game, what do you do?」
「Eh, in a game? Well, it also depends on the genre, but……I'd raise my level, or train, or look at a strategy guide site, it'd be something along those lines……」
「As expected. That's correct.」
「Ha?」
「Even in Life, raising one's level, or training, or browsing a strategy guide site, it's good to be doing those kind of things. They form the roots and trunk for the game known as 『Life』.」
Saying so, Hinami smiled widely.
「……Hold on, no, well, what you're trying to say, I get it. Therefore, level up, in other words, put in the effort, right? Well, certainly there isn't really any alternative.」
「That's right.」
「But you know, it's not going to work as well as in any other game, for that game you call Life. Even if you put in the effort, it won't become a reality. The limit has already been decided by the initial state, there's no overturning it. That kusoge structure, that's what Life is. Well, you probably wouldn't understand……being a tsuyo-chara and all.」
「Do you really understand?」
「Understand what?」
「Levelling up is self-improvement. Starting from your external appearance or from what's inside, the operation of raising the foundational abilities you possess. Training is the improvement of your technique for getting on in the world, in other words, specifically, the refinement of practical skills. With those two points, you should be able to clear the larger half of the game called Life.」
「……No, didn't I already say I get what you're trying to say? But, well, it's not so easy. For a yowa-chara like me, be it levelling up or training, a mountain of futile problems exists.」
「Correct. Leaving aside whether you have or haven't been doing that sort of thing up to now, those circumstances do exist too.」
「What, so you admit that those circumstances do exist? Isn't it hopeless then?」
「However, those futile problems, that is to say, the times when you're taking on a 『Difficult Stage』, a method to solve them exists. You said it, didn't you? Levelling up, training, and…… one more.」
Which would mean……
「That would be—」
「Yes. The strategy guide sites.」
「……Then, just what are those so-called strategy guide sites? A self-development book or how-to book, is that it? If you look at those kind of things, you'll somehow be able to cope, I assume is what you want to say?」
「Ara.」 Hinami smiled strangely. 「Well, that interpretation is acceptable; however. However, being more precise, there is only one strategy guide site in the world where if you were to just abide by the advised rules, things would turn out alright without fail.」
「And what is that? Something that convenient, surely there's no way it exists?」
「But it does exist. To my knowledge, in the world there's just the one and only.」
「……And as I was saying, what is it? Just where does that kind of thing exist?」
When I inquired, Hinami, with a 「That's, well」, used her index finger to slowly tap her head two times.
「It's this.」
An expression overflowing with self-confidence, almost like she was making fun of me. Isn't it obvious? I could hear her about to say that.
「……You, how should I put this, your confidence in yourself goes that far?」
Haha. I laughed inadvertently. Relieved at having been able to get to the heart of things.
「Isn't it obvious? It's inevitable that I would have, up to now, accumulated the necessary parts for this game's strategy guide. That's why, the causes of getting results, they're all drilled into this brain of mine.」
「The causes of getting results, huh. ……Are those what you call Life's rules, then?」
「Yes, that's right.」
「Hmmm……」
The rules of Life that I knew were 『Tsuyo-charas benefit, Yowa-charas are exploited』. Someone might seem uncooperative or cowardly, but can be seen as strong by trampling on people's feelings. There's nothing but those kind of soured rules, that's why 『Life』 is a kusoge. However this person, was boasting that there other rules to 『Life』, moreover that these were even rules that mean 『Life』 is a kamige.
Since they were presently producing results, there was certainly persuasive power. The stump of their way of thinking was close to mine, and we could also agree on some things. Which is why, accepting what this person had said──that is to say, to seriously face this game called Life. It might seem alright to concede that much.
But that's wrong. It's wrong. This person is wrong. Probably, she and I aren't able to understand each other.
Well, that's how it is. In the end, this is what this kind of thing comes to. I tried raising a question.
「Hey……Life is supposedly a kamige right? Then, I've got to ask, how much of a kamige?」
That's right. When it comes to myself and a human being who praises the game called 『Life』, there is a large discontinuity here.
「How much? ……Let's see, to the best of my knowledge……」
She looked up, at a loss for a while.
「It's far ahead in first place, isn't it?」
See, look at that.
That's precisely it. The people who sing praises of 『Life is a kamige』, in the end, place all other games in a much lower position. Just conveniently likening 『Life』 to a 『Game』, the truth of the matter is that they consider only 『Life』 to be a special existence. In other words, that they descend to consider the same point of view as human beings who love games, that kind of self-important point of view. From the outset, they've decided that other games are, in comparison to Life, worthless, looking down on them, and after making fun of them, then only likening Life to a game.
As I had expected, this person was the same. Despairing, I silently picked up my bag and prepared to stand up.
At that moment.
「Yup…… as one might expect, it's far ahead, tied for first place, alongside Atafami.」
Hinami Aoi, as if taken by surprise, as if let-down, said this all too naturally in a pure tone of voice.
「Eh?」
「Yup, I was lost for a while there, but as expected, it's not possible to come to a decision over which one comes out on top, is it. Truth be told, here it would've been more desirable for me to be able to definitively say that 『Life』 comes out tops, though. ……Tied for first place, as frustrating as it might be.」
──I was completely taken aback. A first place tie? Between Life and, Atafami?
That's really what this person is saying right now? That riajuu who's so far ahead, Hinami Aoi?
「Disappointed? Well, certainly, you're someone who has mastered Atafami, aren't you. Then, there probably isn't any value in you trying another game that is only just about as interesting, is there.」
「……You,」
Far from something like disappointment. I had now, unconsciously──
「That's right, you're already in possession of the top position in the highest-ranking game. ……In that case, even though I need to be able to offer you something with more value……aah, I made a mistake. Truly, this habit of running wild once it becomes a matter of Atafami is really……」
Murmuring this to herself rapidly, Hinami then once more turned to face me.
「Well, the one who needs to provide an answer is you, basically, and however you do so doesn't really matter. Telling a lie to gain your confidence would also be wrong, it can't be helped, can it.」
Wrong, wrong. I had now, unconsciously──been completely emotionally moved.
「I……」
I stopped, as if unable to complete my sentence. For me, up to this point, unbeknownst to anyone else, the reason that I had continued to train in Atafami, was just that I had wanted to play it. I had wanted to become strong. Doing so was satisfaction for me, and happiness. It was all good. It was enjoyable. However, I'd had the self-awareness that this was probably, not something that anyone in my surroundings would recognize. Of the same level as being told on the internet that I was amazing, I didn't even have any game-loving friends, I wasn't praised by my parents, and there was no way I would become a popular person in class for my achievements. I also wasn't athletic, and of course, had no girlfriend. In the meanwhile, I had continued to spend time on Atafami, and the results had come. All of it, had just been for my own sake.Truly, I had been fine with that. It was fine to not be praised by anyone, is what I had thought.
But right now, this person who was, to the best of my knowledge, the strongest riajuu, this person had said, 『Life is a game just as interesting as Atafami』. In other words, 『Atafami has, about the same worth as Life』, words possessing that kind of significance, had been declared so matter-of-factly.
──By this person who understood 『Life』 better than anyone else.
That I had been emotionally by this might certainly be contradictory. I had considered 『Life』 to be pointless, a kusoge, is what I had thought. Which is why — This kusoge is on the same level? Stop fooling around, Atafami is way more interesting, Atafami is the kamige here! — it would be natural to expect that kind of opposition.
However, I, in the most publicly recognized game 『Life』. In 『Life』, that I would be told by this person who, to the best of my knowledge, had produced more results than anyone else, that Atafami held the same value──that had been unthinkable.
Effort for which I had thought, that it wouldn't matter even if it weren't recognized by anyone else. And then, along those lines, effort that nobody had recognized. In other words, taken from me, effort solely for my sake. I hadn't thought I was dissatisfied by that, and had probably even thought that it couldn't be helped. But, now.
Unbelievably, I had received affirmation.
「What is it? That face.」
「……I」 Without me realizing, I was now hanging my head downwards. 「I think, anything that has rules, is a game. If there are rules, if there are results based on those rules, then it is a game in its entirety.」
Hinami Aoi stayed silent, waiting for my next words.
「Supposing that 『Life』 has those, then 『Life』 is a game. And then, supposing that, if those rules are simple, and on the inside, beautiful and profound, then it's a kamige, and if that's not the case, it's a kusoge. Would your thoughts still be the same?」
「Yes. Certainly that would exactly be the case. Rules exist, therefore, 『Life』 is a fully fledged game. And…… those rules are simple, and beautiful and profound on the inside, so it's a kamige, 『Life』 is.」
「……Is that so. I understand.」 I lifted my head. 「……If that's the case.」
「If that's the case?」
Then, I looked straight at Hinami.
「It's got my gamer's blood all riled up.」
Hinami's face turned the colour of astonishment. I had no idea what kind of face I was making but, Hinami seemed to have adopted that astonished expression as a result of seeing it.
「This doesn't mean that I fully trust everything you've said, though.」
I directed my words towards the gamer right in front of me.
「Before my very eyes, there is a game. This game, the degree of difficulty is high, but humans all over the world are unanimously participating in it, so the player base is large. I had judged it to be a kusoge after playing it just a little but, it appears that, according to information from a reliable source, the truth is it appears to be a kamige. And, before my very eyes, that experienced person is there, and has offered to teach efficient strategy guide methods. If so……」
Ignoring the dumbfounded condition of Hinami, I continued.
「There is no reason to not play it like – a -game.」
Having finished with what I had to say, looking in Hinami's direction, the astonished Hinami from earlier had vanished before my eyes, and in her place, was the figure of NO NAME, floating a feverous smile.
「As expected of nanashi, huh.」
「Ah, well.」
「I wonder, don't you already completely trust me?」
「As if. In this way, I'll try playing, and until I've confirmed that it is a kamige, there won't be any such thing as trust.」
Right. It didn't mean that I trusted her.
But this person had the same gamer-like thinking as me, and had properly raised another game in the same arena as Life, and then, declared that Life is a kamige. ──A kamige, on the same level as Atafami.
If that's the case, if it's just trying it out for now, it should be all right, is what I thought.
「But with games, there's kind of that issue. If it's just to the extent of trying it out, it's impossible to make a judgement as to whether or not it's a kamige. If I'm going to try play it, if I'm not serious from the beginning, it'd be meaningless. Because I don't want to be making excuses.」
「Quite so, right.」
Hinami, while laughing, nodded her head in agreement.
「Therefore, iIt's in order to become that riajuu, in order to conquer the game called 『Life』, that I'll be playing? In that case I'll decide to try it out . However, I won't hold back. That should be fine, right?」
Hinami, with an of course, once again nodded her head.
「Then, what would be a good way to go about things? For me.」
「Ara, you're quite eager, aren't you.」
For some reason, it seemed to be with delight that Hinami said this, as she stood up and started rummaging through the drawer of her study table.
「What are you doing?」
「Life is a game with a very high degree of freedom.」
「Hm? Well, that's true.」
「In a game with a high degree of freedom, what's the first thing to be done?」
「Hmm?」
In a game with a lot of flexibility, huh. Like a game where you can steal cars or do things like kill a member of the general public, or a game that lets you stroll around the city naked or steal items from a shop.
If I were to say what they had in common……
「Well, that would be be character creation, right.」
「Onitada.」
She said, a serious look on her face, extending her finger.
「Eh? What? Oni? Tada?」
「So, the first thing you need to do, is also character creation.」
「No, what was that just now?」
「……What do you mean? Aren't you imagining things?」
Averting her eyes, she talked brusquely. Just what was that earlier? It felt like I remembered having heard it somewhere before.
Actually, the heck was with that? Imagining things? Oi, she was ignoring what had been said just a while ago. …… There seemed to be no choice but to move on with the conversation.
「……Umm, character creation, was it?」
「Yes.」
Showing a tranquil expression, Hinami Aoi. It had become a nonexistent thing of the past. I don't really get it. Well, whatever.
「But, the creation of the «character» that I am, shouldn't it already have been completed? ……Well, it's a bit of a plain character, though. Hahaha.」
「Your thinking is naive, huh. Use this.」
While even ignoring the small joke of mine, Hinami Aoi retrieved something white from inside the drawer.
That is…… No, wait, wait.
「……Oi. Surely you're not going to also say that I'm constantly going to have to use this to hide it, right?」
「It's nothing of the sort. There's a much more meaningful way of using this.」
As for the object in question now held in Hinami Aoi's right hand, it was a large mask used for hay fever.
Translator Notes:
Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ Onitada おにただ