Chapter 5: Softly 1
“Of course, that was all there was to it.”
Stepping back one step, he slowly started counting.
“The space inside the mouth was ruined, and the speed of the breath was late. The end was all over the place and the maschera was broken. If you were to sing like that, it would turn into a rugby-ball-like horrible song. It would probably take some time for the vocalisation method to sink in your body.”
As expected…
Since it was just me making a sound without caring about a single thing, this kind of evaluation was natural. But more than that, the fact that I was able to lift my pitch that high was a shock to me.
What’s happening? Is it because my height hasn’t grown yet? Or did I think my body was lacking and unconsciously put too much power on the throat?
I don’t know. The state of the body after the return and the vocalisation method… There were too many circumstances mixed up and it was difficult to find out what exactly the problem was.
Looking at me who was struggling in thought, teacher Ku Mingi gave a smile.
“It just means that you need to practise more. Forget completely about the original vocalisation method and make your body get used to the new method. It won’t be easy, as it is a vocalisation method that had been etched into your body for a long time. However, as you go on, there will come a day when you can sing without a single thought, naturally using the new vocalisation method.”
He then intentionally added at the end,
“Then, you’ll be able to manipulate the high note, High C however you want.”
Standing still, I digested teacher Ku Mingi’s words.
Right.
What other complicated things could there be? I just had to practise singing as I had always been, with just one more option added to it.
Learning a new vocalisation method and earning high pitch.
With a stiff expression, I nodded.
“I understand teacher Ku Mingi. I will never forget your advice and thank you very much for sparing your time even though you’re busy.”
“Haha, it’s natural since I’m a teacher.”
“But it must’ve been tough because you have a different student you’re taking care of already… I’ll try hard to not disturb you anymore from now on.”
Seeing me make a deep bow and getting back up, teacher Ku Mingi made a startled expression. ‘Uh? This isn’t right?’ – that kind of feeling was given off.
“Ha… ha… what disturb? It’s really nothing. More than that, think of the vocalisation method. Wouldn’t you require a new teacher to learn a new method?”
Tilting my head, I gave a reply.
“A new teacher, is it?”
And he quickly nodded his head.
“Right. Changing your vocalisation would require someone to listen and evaluate right? Me for example…”
“You sir? But aren’t you already giving lessons to Jun Shihyuk? That should be tough already so I can’t cause you that much trouble…”
Hearing that, he turned speechless and seeing that, I also gave a nod. Right, it was true that he had taken in Jun Shihyuk as his disciple. It was impossible not to know, as the competition to have teacher Ku Mingi as their teacher was fierce during the first days of admission from the male opera students.
Due to there being too many requests, teacher Ku Mingi had to come personally and hold an audition before taking in Jun Shihyuk. Was it just Kim Wuju and me who had not applied for it?
While I was in the midst of a recollection, teacher Ku Mingi spoke rapidly.
“Of course it’s not normal, I can take care of two students. It’s a rare case after all.”
I stared directly at him and could see him lifting his lips up intentionally to appear as friendly as he could.
…After all this, even I could realise that teacher Ku Mingi wanted me, but why? Why is he wanting me so much? To say that he was aiming for the fame of his disciple, teacher Ku Mingi was someone so great that he did not need anything like that. It was already strange that he was a mere high school teacher.
“A rare case…”
“Right, this kind of teacher-student relationship is rare indeed.”
I felt a part of my brain turn prickly. Before me was teacher Ku Mingi’s appearance – his amiably smiling expression and on top of that, the memories of my past life were placed. The expressionless teacher Ku Mingi, whom I had talked to regarding quitting the school appeared before soon blurring away.
“…”
Staring sullenly at teacher Ku Mingi for a bit, I opened my mouth.
“…Sir. It might be abrupt but I have a question. Is it normal for throats to be ruined just because the vocalisation method doesn’t suit them?”
He made a curious expression.
“It’s not common, but if the vocalisation method is far from normal and if two extremely different people become a student and a teacher, it is quite possible. I’ve seen people ruin their throats from wrong practices and that’s why I called it a special, rare case.”
“Ah…”
Right, he knew a lot about it.
But why didn’t he tell me this 20 years ago?
“…”
Seeing my expressionless look, teacher Ku Mingi made a little cough before adding on.
“Kuhum. Especially in teacher Kwak Jungsoo and student Jo Yunjae’s case, your bodies are… people would try to make sure such things don’t happen and do not choose teachers with different builds as their specialist teacher, but it seems that student Jo Yunjae was not aware of it.”
“…Yes, you’re right.”
Rather than not knowing, there was just no other way around it. Before the time travel, I had chosen teacher Ku Mingi before failing the interview and was automatically allocated to teacher Kwak Jungsoo whom no students had applied for.
And that was how the two that had been chosen by no-one had become a teacher and a student.
“…I’ll think about it a bit more.”
Seeing me open my mouth, teacher Ku Mingi clicked his tongue once before standing up from his seat.
“Alright. I should head off now. But student Jo Yunjae should think about my suggestions a bit more: both the lesson and the cooperation with the composing department.”
“Yes.”
As I gazed at teacher Ku Mingi leave after hitting my shoulder,
I heaved out a short sigh.
This was complicated and I had no idea what to do.
“…”
Hearing the sound of the door closing, I turned my head over to see teacher Kwak Jungsoo sitting downhearted.
He doesn’t have to be like that though.
My throat wasn’t actually ruined and I had sung for 20 years without a problem. Rather, it was my fault since I had been using my teacher’s vocalisation method in full on my own accord.
With an intentional soft voice, I asked.
“Sir, should we end here for today? A lot of time has passed after all.”
“…”
After deep contemplation, he heaved out a sigh and closed his eyes; he seemed to be full of worries. I stared at him with a jittery mood when he heavily opened his mouth after a long thought.
“Yunjae.”
“Yes.”
Ah, I could feel something ominous from just his voice. I looked at teacher Kwak Jungsoo with the urge to turn my ears away but in the end, he put it into words.
“…From now on, learn under teacher Ku Mingi. That seems to be a better way for you.”
In silence, I stared at him for a bit.
“I’m sorry sir, but I can’t follow that through.”
“…I don’t have the right to. I… only know how to sing with my body and have no right to teach someone else. Even now, it could’ve been a big problem.”
After standing stiffly for a while, I broke out into a grin.
Teacher Kwak Jungsoo not having the right is impossible. If the teacher that had led the worst-achieving student, me, onto a stage is unqualified, then who would be?
“No. I believe in sir.”
“…”
To the speechless teacher, I repeatedly said, it’s okay, before leaving the lesson room.
*
Vocalisation training was quite difficult.
I had to change something that had sunk in deep for 20 years, so how easy could that be? It was a kind of habit at that point.
However, slowly but surely, if I proceeded step by step, a gradually changing scenery would greet me for sure. With that thought, I would practise vocalisation the entire day at the practice rooms and spend the rest of the time practising with Han Dasom.
During all that, the time had flown past until it was one day before the Concerted Music prac test.
“That was good~”
“The girl’s gotten a lot better.”
“Are you coming out tomorrow as well?”
From the audience that started to leave after the song with Han Dasom, I could hear a question being thrown out.
“No. We have a presentation tomorrow.”
“Ah, and you won’t be coming out after that?”
“No idea. This girl has a concour as well so…”
When I stared at Han Dasom, she smiled awkwardly with a start.
“I…”
“Hmm, Song Mirae?”
“Un?”
I saw Song Mirae walking slowly from afar. Thinking, ‘that’s good’, as I had something to confirm, I called her out loudly in case she wanted to run away like before.
“Song Mirae!”
When I waved my hand at the startled Song Mirae, she carefully started walking, and when she arrived near us, she asked with a sour expression.
“Why, if it’s because of the youtube video…”
“Yeah, I called you because of the youtube thing.”
“What?”
Glancing at Han Dasom, I opened my mouth.
“Tomorrow’s the first Concerted Music prac test, right? I wanted to see if she was okay. She’s doing alright in front of people but for the real thing, she might be nervous so I was worried about that.”
“Yunjae…”
Han Dasom stared at me with a moved expression. Why is she like that, when I’m just doing it for my own marks? Shrugging my shoulders and throwing my gaze back to the side, I saw Song Mirae looking at me with a rotten expression.
“So why did you call me; to boast about you two being like that or something?”
“What boast? Because she might be nervous, I just wanted you to film her and make it feel like the real thing – like what you’ve done before.”
Perhaps feeling a little guilty, she lowered her head and murmured.
“No, I was just walking past and…”
“I don’t care about the reason. You can upload it so film it please.”
With a sigh, she took out her phone and stepped back a little. Thus, a little filming had begun.
“I’ll start filming then.”
“Un…”
Along with the sound of ‘ding-dong’ marking the start of the recording, I stared at Han Dasom singing with my arms crossed. After concentrating with her eyes closed, she opened her mouth.
“Quaniam tu solus sanctus!”
A proud and confident Han Dasom – her clear, wonderful timbre tickled the ears. It was worlds different from the first time she practised with me and seeing that introverted girl having grown like this, I even felt a little proud for bringing her up.
“Tu… solus… altissimus…”
The problem was that after meeting her eyes with mine, Han Dasom had suddenly begun shaking. Just like the first time she sang this song, she shrunk her body and sang cautiously before lowering her head with a blush.
Feeling dumbfounded, I opened my mouth.
“Oi, you were doing so good so why are you doing bad in front of a camera? You are singing soft, but the structure of the mouth can’t change like that.”
“Sorry… I think I became nervous…”
“You were doing fine in front of the kids until just then…”
“…You’re right…”
Why’s she suddenly like this – does she become this nervous during the real things? It would be pretty bad if she was like this tomorrow as well.
Do I have to resort to that method?
Seeing me in deep thought with crossed arms, Song Mirae clicked her tongue before pulling my arm over to one side.
“Why are you so thickheaded? I thought you were a player since you were singing together with Han Dasom. If you’re like this, then why were you practising with Han Dasom in the first place?”
“What do you mean, of course, it’s to sing better.”
Song Mirae made a flabbergasted expression.
“…Really? The singing practice was your objective? Isn’t our Suh-ah carrying through the Concerted Music anyway?”
Aha, she wouldn’t know because she hadn’t heard of it yet. With a nod, I replied.
“Lee Suh-ah is, well, Lee Suh-ah, but Han Dasom is good as well.”
“Really?”
“…”
In front of her questioning gaze, I could see Han Dasom shrinking even more.
Why are you dampening our kid’s spirits? Feeling like a protective mum, I quickly started throwing out compliments.
“Oi, Han Dasom’s voice is really good as well okay? She’s just practising because she’s introverted. If she could properly use her voice, then she would be better than Lee Suh-ah in that song at least.”
Suddenly stiffening her expression, Song Mirae stepped back.
“Voice? Who do you think you are that you’re so confident?”
What, why’s she angry all of a sudden? Staring at her with puzzled eyes, I soon understood that it was due to what I had said during the admission – the thing about telling her to be a mezzo.
“Oi, that was…”
“I’m going then.”
Staring bitterly at Song Mirae leave, I soon turned my head over.
Right, one song would be better than a hundred words. Tapping the shrunk Han Dasom’s shoulders I thought,
Let’s show her tomorrow what’s up, Dasom.
*
Night.
Lying down on the dormitory’s bed, Han Dasom stared deeply at the video being played on the iPad.
[Quaniam…]
She could see herself and Jo Yunjae singing on youtube. The song continued without a problem and after a minute, the video was suddenly cut off.
Seeing that, Han Dasom buried her face deep into the pillow.
“Idiot… idiot… why did you have to make a mistake…”
That problematic scene replayed in her mind – the suddenly approaching Song Mirae; an on the spot filming; her voice that had been perfected through Yunjae’s help and the beautiful voice that rang through the vocal cords…
And those two eyes.
“…!”
Creating strange sounds, she hugged her pillow and kicked around before soon raising her head and heaving a deep sigh. She could see a penguin doll sitting in front of her eyes with its cute, bright smile.
Staring at that, Han Dasom whispered.
“Som, do you think Yunjae was disappointed seeing me make a mistake today? Yunjae helped me so much and I ruined it. Tomorrow’s also the Concerted Music presenting day…”
The penguin stayed silent with the same smile. After a short sigh, Han Dasom hugged Som and turned her gaze back to the iPad, and tapping on the screen a little, her eyes went down towards the comment section.
“…!”
She then made strange sounds before quickly closing youtube.
…
And as she rolled around like that, Chloe came out of the showers and stared curiously.
“What are you doingg?”