Chapter 31 Yearnings of Hearts
Doctor Chen’s voice was soft, but it bound Dou Qing’e’s heart tightly like a band. She found it hard to breath. Her face darkened as soon as she saw Qin Yunuan, who was waiting aside peacefully.
“It was you!” Dou Qing’e glared at her fiercely, “You set up the trap and waited for me to fall into your snare. Watching me being blamed, are you satisfied? You feel good, don’t you?”
Qin Yunuan turned around slowly. At this moment, it seemed to her that Dou Qing’e was acting like a shrew. “Did you hear what Dr. Chen said, mother? Father fainted suddenly because he was exhausted and needed some rest. If you want to make a noise and blame me, at least wait until father gets better.”
“You have grown up,” Dou Qing’e said more loudly, “And you have better tricks. I had misjudged you.”
“Mother,” Qin Yunuan tilted her head. Her face was as innocent as snow lotus compared with the fierce and hateful face of Dou Qing’e. “Father had just said it was you who smeared me, led the search and summoned Fusheng, hadn’t he? What did I do to trick you?”
What Dou Qing’e could not stand most was Qing Yunuan’s calm action in face of her anger. As she was about to slap this little b*tch, the door was opened by Dr. Chen, who stood still by the door and looked amazed at her hand. Then he said, “Master Qin had revived. He wanted to see the Third Miss.”
“Thank you, Dr. Chen.” Qin Yunuan lowered her head and thanked him, and then stepped into the room.
“Did Master say when to see me?” Dou Qing’e softened her voice suddenly. She had to humble herself for Yunzhuang instead of her own good.
Dr. Chen shook his head and sighed, “At present, His Excellency is not in a good mood. You’d better not provoke him, Madam.”
Inside the room, the Lingmaoxiang was burning to calm the nerves and rest the mind. The furnishings there were simple and elegant, matching the scholarly bearing of Qin Zhi. Walking past the screen, Qin Yunuan saw her father lying by the bed edge.
Qin Zhi’s cheeks curved inward and his lips were pale. A servant girl was preparing a higher soft pillow for him, but the work was not well-done.
“Let me do that,” Qin Yunuan took the buckwheat pillow from the maid and asked her to do other things. She talked to Qin Zhi as she adjusted the pillow. “Buckwheat pillows are good for the waist. Father used to rest on goose feather pillows with mother, and I’m afraid that you may feel uncomfortable now.”
“Uncomfortable?” Qin Zhi said weakly, “When I was still a student, a steamed bun left overnight was a delicacy for me.” He coughed after this, and then continued to speak. “Actually, I know a little about the difficulties of you and Baochuan. But my success today had much to do with the help from the Dou Family. Though I am the Grand Commandant now, I cannot punish your mother seriously. I hope you know that.”
“I understand.” Qin Yunuan looked down. She never thought about using her father’s power to deal with Dou Qing’e. She knew that a slight move in one part may affect the situation as a whole and she tried not to make that move. Moreover, she never really longed for the understanding and support from her father. For a man who had risen from humble beginnings and finally attained such a high status, there was nothing more important than his hard-earned status and power.
Qin Zhi patted Qin Yunuan’s hand and told her, “Sometimes, one has to tolerate.”
“I know.” Qin Yunuan nodded obediently. But that did not mean she would do so and let Dou Qing’e abuse her. She had had some illusions and expectations about her father after the rebirth, but all these beautiful bubbles had burst and vanished now. His inaction in the previous life could be attributed to his unawareness to these dirty plots. But now he knew about everything, and he still turned a blind eye to them and let her swallow the insults in meek submission. Although she was not a legal daughter, it was selfish of him to sacrifice a daughter’s soul for the sake of fame and power. Qin Yunuan would never have any foolish hopes about him.
Dou Qing’e darkened her face as soon as she saw Qin Yunuan walking out of the room.
“Mother,” Qin Yunuan said as she stepped down, “Father asked me to take a message for you.” Dou Qing’e turned her head away crossly, but that did not stop Qin Yunuan. “He reminded you of your promise.”
Dou Qing’e looked up at her suddenly. She felt that Qin Yunuan was looking at her sneeringly, and her eyes were like a downpour. Dou Qing’e turned over her head, only to see Qin Yunuan’s quiet and peaceful smile.
“Mother, you said that if you were wrong, you would worship the Buddha and abstain from meat and wine for one month in your own room. ” Then Qin Yunuan made a deep curtsey to her. “Father had taken medicine and slept. And I am leaving now.”
In the yard, the bare branches were moving violently with the wind. Dou Qing’e stood rigidly, feeling that she was covered by coldness. She had underestimated Qin Yunuan this time. She always thought that Qin Yunuan was just a coward like her mother and could be trampled by her. Now, she had to come up with new plots.
A crescent moon was hanging on the deep sky, casting moon lights over the graceful body of Qin Yunuan and left the shadow on the ground. As she walked out of the Chuihua Gate, she caught sight of Su Chenghai standing by the red pillar whose painting had peeled off. The Grecian nose and chiseled jawline on his face looked more charming under the moonlight. He was still there.
“Cousin?” Qin Yunuan stepped forward and called him softly.
Su Chenghai did not answer. For a while, his eyes were fixed on the glorious moon. Then suddenly, he pointed at the moon and said, “The moon is beautiful tonight, with cold and clear shimmer, like we are in winter.”
Qin Yunuan tilted slightly, “When did you come here, cousin?”
While Su Chenghai’s face showed a hint of drunkenness, his eyes were as clear as usual. “What do you think?” He smiled, but it was hard to tell whether he was happy or not. “Maybe it was when uncle whacked the table. I didn’t see you come out.”
“Then you’ve been waiting outside?” Qin Yunuan gathered herself up and tried to sound out him. But inwardly, she was a little flustered.
“Well,” Su Chenghai raised his eyebrow, and said lightly, “I was entrusted to bring a letter to you, so I didn’t dare to delay.” Then he took out a letter which said “Opened Only by Third Miss of Qin Family” with Shangguan Rang’s signature on it. The letter was still his invitation to Qin Yunuan to visit the White Horse Academy together a month later.
Qin Yunuan frowned slightly, but Su Chenghai continued speaking, “I’ve heard that Shangguan Rang was a romantic man known for his generosity to women. It is not rare for him to spend a big sum of money on love affairs; thus, he has many admirers. Chances that he bothers to write a love letter to a woman happen once in a blue moon. Could it be that he is really in love with you, dear cousin Yunuan?”
“Are you joking with me, cousin?” Qin Yunuan said calmly, “Shangguan Rang is a loose man who knows quite well about love affairs. That’s why I do not like him. A man should either join the army and establish himself in the troop, or he should take up the pen as his sword and serve his nation. I don’t like those who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth but make no progress.”
After she said this, Su Chenghai looked more keenly at her while thinking about these words over and over again. His face beamed with delight in a flash, but then he calmed down again. “As expected, you are not an ordinary girl, cousin Yunuan.”
Qin Yunuan smiled lightly, “It’s getting late. I have to go back.” Even though they were cousins, they still had to avoid meeting each other alone at night in case of arousing suspicion.
Su Chenghai did not reply. He turned back to Qin Yunuan before going down the stairs, “Except for the four scriptures that you brought to auntie, did you have the manuscript of The Lotus Sutra with Dignitary Hui Neng’s annotation?”
Qin Yunuan stayed silent for a moment. She didn’t know where Su Chenghai got the news. After all, to be prudent, only Tong, Maner and Fang Ziying who brought the book to her knew this manuscript from Li Jiaxuan. However, thinking over for a while, she decided that there was nothing wrong about the manuscript, so she nodded and replied, “That’s right. How do you know that, cousin?”
“By chance. May I borrow it from you? I always admire Dignitary Hui Neng’s deep interpretation over Buddha dharma.” Su Chenghai asked with a smile.
“Of course,” Qin Yunuan beamed, “I will ask Tong to send it to you later. I am not in a hurry, you can take your time and read carefully.”
What she said was courteous and polite; and what she did was decent and appropriate. But anyhow, Su Chenghai was stirred by her careful behaviors. He did not know what was going on with himself because he had never felt it that way.
Su Chenghai did not go to bed after he came back to his room. Looking at the pile of documents on the desk, he knew that he had no time to sleep tonight.
In less than a quarter of an hour, someone knocked the door. It was Tong who carried the manuscript for him.
“Master, allow me to put The Lotus Sutra on your shelf.”
“On the shelf? That would be a waste of space.” Su Chenghai flipped through the document on the table, and his eyes darkened at a glimpse of the book. It seemed that something bad was going to happen.
“But Master, you said that you wanted to read it slowly and carefully, didn’t you?” Xiao Si was a frank man.
The flipping motion slowed as Su Chenghai turned at Xiao Si leisurely. He said in an icy voice, “Put it at the bottom of our chest.”
Su Chenghai was not the only one who did not sleep last night. In the early morning of the next day, Qin Yunuan came early to Shunchang Courtyard to pay respects to Qin Zhi. She happened to see Qin Yunzhuang walking out of the room with her head down.
Qin Yunzhuang’s face had almost recovered, but she still wore a veil. She might have cried just now because her eyes were swollen like walnuts. Her curvy figure became skinny now. The heavy makeup on her face could not hide her haggard, and the tight ivory silk dress looked loose on her body. It appeared that she was having a hard time during this half of the month.