Ying Qingcang just stood there, staring at Xin Qing in stupefaction. She was smiling at him, and yet he felt as if they had become estranged from each other.
"Um, Ah Cang, you need to calm down first. I'll slowly explain it to you, okay?" Young Master Shen took a few steps and then stood behind him. "Xiao Qingqing's condition is very special according to the doctor. What she has isn't the usual case of amnesia. Because of the damage done to the nerve tissues inside her brain, she'll forget everything from the previous day everytime she wakes up."
Ying Qingcang turned around stiffly, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that the longest her memory can last is 24 hours. After 24 hours, it will be like reformatting a PC. She won't have any memories left. Every day will be a blank slate for her. She won't remember anything earlier than that day," Zhang Mi said as tears spilled down her cheeks. "We've already told her everything after she woke up. And regarding your relationship, well, we just told her that you two are married. It isn't our place to tell her about the memories you share with each other. I think it's better for her to hear it from you."
A memory that only lasts for 24 hours? For a moment, a wave of haziness assaulted Ying Qingcang's mind. "How could there be such a thing..." He thought.
"I'm sorry," Xin Qing said. When she saw how upset Ying Qingcang was, she felt compelled to console him. "I'm trying my best to remember everything. Maybe I'll get better soon!"
Xin Qing had been terrified when she first woke up. She had no idea who she was, and what had happened to her before this. After the doctor examined her, a woman named Zhang Mi began to explain everything to her in detail. Zhang Mi told her who she was, and that her name was Xin Qing. But when she woke up the next morning, she could not remember anything. That was when the doctors had confirmed that she was suffering from short-term memory loss; she would forget things very quickly. Then again, perhaps there was some kind of telepathy involved, because Xin Qing could feel it in her heart that everything these people had told was the truth. By "these people" she meant the woman named Zhang Mi, a guy named Young Master Shen, and also two twins who were practically carbon copies of each other. Her instincts told her that she was indeed the person that these people had claimed she was.
"See? I've already written down everything you guys have told me!" Xin Qing said, as she reached out to retrieve a soft cover notebook from the head of the bed. The front of the notebook had two large words written on it.
"Must Read!"
The first page of the notebook contained her name, age, as well as her current place of stay. There were also details about her family members. Ying Qingcang's name was listed under "husband" whereas "Ah Sha" was listed as "daughter". The following pages contained an extensive list of her other acquaintances.
"I know you're upset. But to tell you the truth, I'm very anxious too," Xin Qing said, lowering her head. "I can't remember anything at all. It's like I no longer know anything in this world. Without you guys, I wouldn't know what to do..."
Ying Qingcang walked over and embraced her. In an instant, he felt her body grow stiff. After a while, she slowly relaxed.
"Don't be afraid. I'm here!"
It was a brief statement, just a few short words, and yet it had instantly quelled the uneasiness and turmoil inside her heart. Raising her head, Xin Qing said, "Can you tell me about our relationship? I want to jot it down. That way, I'll be able to recognize you tomorrow."
"Okay." Ying Qingcang sat down and then wrapped his arms around her. Xin Qing wanted to free herself, but when she saw the longing in the man's eyes, she sat still obediently. Since they were husband and wife, they must have done everything already; sharing a hug must be as normal as breathing.
Zhang Mi and Young Master Shen slipped out of the room quietly and closed the door. When he saw that Zhang Mi was still crying, Young Master Shen rolled his eyes at her, "Come on, the doctors already said that it won't be permanent. After the blood clot in her brain dissolves, she'll regain all her memories. You're crying as if she's dying."
"What if she doesn't recover?" For once, Zhang Mi did not respond to Young Master Shen's remark with a snide comment. Right now, her mind was preoccupied with Xin Qing's condition. "She was smiling and acting like she was fine. But deep inside, she's terrified." Zhang Mi wiped her tears. "I know her too well. Her behavior right now is exactly the same as her behavior during her teenage years. This is how Xin Qing is like when we first entered university, before all those changes took place in her family. Kind, considerate, and incapable of any schemes. Now it's like she has reverted back to the old Xin Qing, the one without a temper."
Young Master Shen handed Zhang Mi a piece of tissue. "Come on, dry your face. You've ruined all your makeup."
"Bullshit. I'm born pretty. Since when do I need makeup?" Zhang Mi said, taking the tissue from him. She dabbed her face with the tissue half-heartedly. "Take me to Qianqian's place. We need to discuss about the things we can do to help Xin Qing."
Meanwhile, Xin Qing was staring at the tattoo on Ying Qingcang's back, the one that held the totem. "I... Do I have the exact same tattoo on my body too?" She asked a little sheepishly.
"You do, but it's not the exact same tattoo. Yours is more beautiful," Ying Qingcang said, staring at her tenderly. He, too, had noticed a slight difference in Xin Qing's personality: she was childlike.
Xin Qing frowned in thought. Then, she reached out and touched the tattoo on his neck. "Then it's probably similar to this tattoo." Suddenly, Xin Qing grinned at him. "I bet I love you very much!"
"Yes. As much as I love you," Ying Qingcang said, touching her cheeks. Xin Qing blushed. "If a girl is willing to have a man's name tattooed onto her body, then she must love him very, very much. So, I believe whatever you said."
Ying Qingcang had already told her about the memories they shared with each other. He had told her everything: how they met, how they ended up together, how they went from hating each others' guts to loving each other, how they spent two years apart, and then finally, how she became Mrs. Ying by agreeing to marry him. No matter how upset she felt, Xin Qing knew that the pain that this man was feeling right now was so much worse than her own. Although she had accepted him, she did not love him. To her, he was still a stranger. Ying Qingcang was very aware of that fact, which was why there was always a look of pain within the depths of his eyes.
"If..." Xin Qing trailed off, pausing in thought. In the end, she decided to tell him anyway, "If I keep forgetting about you and one day you can't take it anymore, then you can tell me. I'll leave."
Something flickered in Ying Qingcang's eyes. He clasped her hand and then yanked Xin Qing against his chest, wrapping her in a tight hug. Xin Qing could barely breathe, though she did not try to pull herself free. Right now, she was able to feel the trembles in Ying Qingcang's body.
"Listen to me. You're not allowed to leave me regardless of what happens to you." Ying Qingcang's voice, which was laced with pain and sorrow, sounded as if it had been squeezed through a small gap between a door and its frame. "My life will be meaningless without you by my side. You might not be able to comprehend or even believe that such deep feelings could exist. Hell, I myself couldn't believe it in the past either. But then I met you. Look, it doesn't matter whether my feelings are due to the Ancestral Behest's preordination or the totem. The point is that I can't no longer bring myself to lose you after falling in love with you." When Ying Qingcang raised Xin Qing's face, he noticed her face tear-stained face looking back at him.
"Don't cry." He gently kissed a tear drop away. It tasted salty and astringent, which mirrored his current mood.
Xin Qing stared at him as she sobbed. "I... I'm not crying on purpose. My tears just... They just won't stop flowing. You need to stop feeling upset. I... My tears will start flowing the moment I sense that you're upset."
Ying Qingcang suppressed a laugh and pulled her into his arms. Xin Qing's subconscious mind remembered him even if her conscious mind had no memories of him. That gave him hope. Perhaps she really would recover soon. At the thought, he pinched the tip of her nose. "Then will you talk about leaving me again?"
"No! I won't mention it ever again." Xin Qing said, shaking her head forcefully. Satisfied, Ying Qingcang joked, "I've already given all my assets to you. I'd be penniless if you leave me." He ruffled Xin Qing's head. "Okay, let's pack our things and go home. Ah Sha hadn't seen her mommy for a long time. She missed you a lot!"
Xin Qing would return to Ying's residence that same night. When Ah Che came to pick her up, he had prepared a high quality leather notebook for Xin Qing on Ying Qingcang's orders. Xin Qing would use it to jot down everything that had happened throughout the day. To Xin Qing, this was a necessity; otherwise, she would be confused every morning when she woke up into a completely unfamiliar world. She would not even know who she was.
Ah Sha tossed her toy away when she saw Xin Qing entering the house. In tears, she ran towards Xin Qing. "Mommy! Mommy! Where did you go? Are you abandoning me?"
Xin Qing was aware of Ah Sha's origins. When Ying Qingcang had shown her a photo of Ah Sha, she was surprised to see the resemblance between Ah Sha and herself. No wonder Ying Qingcang mentioned that Ah Sha looked as if she was their biological child. Now, Xin Qing's heart was practically melting as the little bundle ran into her arms and raised its face to stare at her with teary eyes.
"I'm sorry. I... Mommy had to go away for work. I'm not abandoning Ah Sha!" Xin Qing picked up the tiny figure from the floor and kissed her face, which was shaped like a bun. Ah Sha wrapped her arms around Xin Qing's neck and snuggled up against Xin Qing's face. "Mommy must bring me with you next time! Otherwise I won't eat."
"Haha! Okay," Xin Qing said, kissing her again. "Next time, I'll bring Ah Sha with me wherever I go." Ah Sha glanced at Ying Qingcang beside them, and then added, "And daddy too!"
Ying Qingcang took Ah Sha from Xin Qing's arms. "Ah Sha, be a good girl. Mommy just got back and is very tired. Now let daddy hug you!"
Ah Sha nestled in Ying Qingcang's arms. Then, with bright eyes, she gazed at Xin Qing, "Mommy, did you bring gifts for Ah Sha?"
Xin Qing glanced at Ying Qingcang. "It really happened. Just like he said it would..." She thought.
"Of course I did!" Xin Qing said, pulling out the doll that Ying Qingcang had prepared beforehand. "Do you think this doll look like Ah Sha?"
Ah Sha gave the doll a serious appraisal, and then she shook her head. "Ah Sha is prettier!"
"Mm! Mm!" Xin Qing was amused. Even if this was her first time meeting Ah Sha, and even if she could not remember that Ah Sha was her own daughter, Xin Qing knew that she liked Ah Sha very much. It was a strange feeling, just like the way she felt around the others: Aunt Tian and Uncle Fu. None of them felt unfamiliar to her at all. Maybe the feelings and emotions she felt for these people were still with her even if she had forgotten everything about them in the past. She believed that she would be able to remember everyone eventually.
Three months later, on a luxurious bed, a person's body shifted underneath the blankets. A tiny and confused face peeked out. After a moment, her eyes went wide as she shrieked and pushed away the man who was hugging her. "Who are you?"
Ying Qingcang rubbed his brows helplessly and picked up a leather notebook from the head of the bed. "You'll understand everything once you finished reading this," he said before he stood up and headed towards the bathroom. Such was the scene that would play out every morning: with him opening his eyes to meet Xin Qing's fearful and unfamiliar gaze. Whenever that happened, his heart would hurt as if it had been poked by a bunch of needles.
Xin Qing shrieked again when she realized the man's state of undress. After that, she lifted the blanket surreptitiously to look at her own body.
"I never touched you." Ying Qingcang's voice came through the doorway of the bathroom. After that, the door closed.
Xin Qing heaved a sigh of relief. Then, panic rose within her. "Who am I? Why am I here?"