Chapter 124: Overwhelmed
“Grandma! That’s enough!” Suyang yelled.
I never knew the cause of Suyang’s parents’ death. I went as far as making Suyang join me in Japan…
Suddenly, my heart was throbbing. Suyang….
“After that incident, Xiao Su and I cut ties with the child. We returned to China and began a new life. In case history repeats itself, I always try my best to separate myself from Xiao Su. That is why we don’t live together. Even if accidents were to occur, at least he wouldn’t be affected…..”
“Grandma. Enough. What’s the point of telling her this? Yixin isn’t that child. She wouldn’t…”
“That’s why it’s even more dangerous! Lin Yixin has the abilities but she doesn’t know how to control it! The evil spirits can take advantage of her!”
Suddenly, I felt very useless…. Why was I here? I really wanted to disappear. It didn’t matter where; as long as I could disappear.
Now, I understood why Suyang was so afraid of ghosts. His parents died because of them. That incident must be a traumatic moment he’ll never get over. I couldn’t help but imagine how he felt when he found out I could see ghosts.
Did it remind him of the past? If so, what was he thinking? Why did he choose not to tell me that part of his life?
“Lin Yixin, I know you’re a good child. I hope you’ll reconsider and make the correct decision.” Then, Grandmother Meng left very confidently. She was positive that I would do as she wanted.
No! I can’t handle this. I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave.
Suyang seemed to have read my mind and snatched my hand. His voice was hoarse, “You’re leaving?”
I pushed Suyang’s hand off me and held onto my buzzing head, “I’m going to get some fresh air. My mind is a mess right now. Please give me some time to process everything.”
“No need to think about it. Stay by my side. You are you. Nothing will happen…”
“How can you be so sure that nothing will happen? I can’t even guarantee….deep down, I’ve always known that my ability will cause you problems one day. Just like Grandmother Meng said, I cannot control it. I don’t know how to get out of dangerous situations either. But I try to avoid thinking about it because I’m afraid I’ll regress into what I used to be. I’m just selfish for wanting you to stay with me a bit longer…”
“Why can’t it work out? There’s no issues between us right now!”
“Ever since you found out that I could see ghosts, you’ve never thought back about the accident? I’m like a reminder, right? Being with me will always remind you of your parents’ death since their death was caused by a person who could see ghosts. The ghosts killed them.”
“That’s my problem. Not yours. I can deal with it myself.” Suyang’s determined pupils were trying to sway me. The moment I made eye contact with him, I felt hesitant.
“No, it is my problem. As long as I appear in front of you, you’ll be constantly reminded of your past. I’ve never told you I had almost been possessed once. Likewise, you’ve never told me about your past. It is because we’re both afraid to lose each other….”
“Since we’re both afraid to lose each other, we should be together and face it together.” Suyang grabbed onto my shoulders to emphasize his true heart.
“Suyang….give me some time to think about it. I-I.. can’t face you right now. I feel so ashamed and sorry. Please let me get some fresh air.”
This time, Suyang didn’t stop me. He gradually released my shoulders and said, “You will make the correct decision, right?”
Correct decision? Grandmother Meng wanted me to make the correct decision. Suyang also wanted me to make the correct decision. But what is the correct decision? Should I do what Grandmother Meng want? Or Suyang? Or what I want?
Honestly, I didn’t even know what I wanted. A part of me didn’t want to separate from Suyang at all. But another part of me was willing to leave him in order to keep him safe.
My mind was having a battle with each other. It was like tug-a-war. Both sides wouldn’t budge.
Ultimately, I was torn in half as I fell onto the ground.
Half of me stared at each other, “Are you the correct decision?”
—–
Everything happened too fast. I wandered on the streets alone. The argument I had with Suyang over food seemed like it happened a century ago. Now, it was only a distant memory.
I wasn’t sure how long I’ve walked for or where I have gone. But by the time I snapped back to reality, I realized I didn’t have a single spot to take a rest.
“Yixin, it’s really you?”
Someone was calling my name. I was currently sitting on the side of the road as I looked up. Shen Shaoqian’s flashy car was in front of me.
“Why are you out here by yourself? Get on!?”
“I came out for a breath of fresh air. Don’t mind me.” I decided to ignore him and got up to walk away.
Shen Shaoqian got off his car and blocked me. He acted like a gentleman, “It’s too late! How could I allow you to walk alone by yourself?! I’ll take you home.”
I flung Shen Shaoqian’s arm away and frowned, “No! You go do whatever you were doing. I want to be alone.”
After I made that statement, I realized I was a bit rude. So, I quickly added, “I’m not in a good mood right now. I’m not purposely trying to give you attitude. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Just go.”
“No! Get on the car. We can chat about it while we’re inside, okay?” Shen Shaoqian blocked me with his arms spread apart. “I won’t give up until you get on.”
Seeing how persistent he was, I decided to listen to him. Most likely, Suyang called Shen Shaoqian and told him to keep an eye out for me. We kind of owe him for always being there.
The car began to move. I didn’t ask where we were going as I leaned against the seat to rest. Perhaps we were too silent, so Shen Shaoqian asked, “Did you and Suyang have a fight?”
“No need to be so indirect about it. Suyang probably already told you, right?” I stared at the outside scenery. Shen Shaoqian was driving really slowly. I opened the window and stuck my head out to feel the cool breeze. My heart was in chaos right now.
“Although we’re close, he doesn’t tell me everything, you know?”
“Then why are you here?” Shen Shaoqian wasn’t driving towards the direction of the apartment, so I felt better.
“Me? I was going to come find you and Suyang to discuss about what to do this Christmas. It’ll be Christmas in a month. We had so much fun in Japan, so I was wondering if you guys wanted to go on another trip. Perhaps we can go skiing in Switzerland.
“I’m so curious. Don’t you ever have to work?! You’re always playing and goofing around.”
“I’m a rich second generation! Plus, I have my own company. Obviously, I can do as I please.” Shen Shaoqian proudly bragged.
“Then go wherever you want. I’m not going to join you….”
“Why not? You don’t want to go to Switzerland? Then pick something else. For example….” Shen Shaoqian began to chatter nonstop. I guess he really wanted to go on a trip again.
Suddenly, I was curious, “When did you and Suyang meet?”
“We met when we were children. We grew up together. Why are you asking?”
That means…. “So do you know what happened to Suyang during his time in Japan?”
The car suddenly came to an emergency stop. I looked up and noticed that there was only a 10cm difference between our car and the car in front of us. We almost crashed.
Shen Shaoqian was shocked but quickly recovered and continued forward. “I was so focused on our conversation, we almost crashed! Umm. When Suyang was in Japan, we weren’t together. I was in China, so I don’t know what happened to him. But when he returned with his grandmother, I found out his parents died in Japan.”
I frowned, “Why didn’t Suyang mention it to me before? I feel terrible. Suyang had such a painful time in Japan yet we went there for vacation…”
“Don’t make things up in your head! It happened so long ago! Suyang isn’t the type to hold grudges.” Shen Shaoqian replied.
Really? But Shen Shaoqian wasn’t even there. So, there was no point in telling him about what happened. Furthermore, his tone didn’t sound that confident.
“So why were you two arguing?”
“Arguing? When did I say we were arguing?” Did it count as an argument? I wasn’t sure.
“Why else would you be wandering on the streets so late at night?”