Chapter 226: Express Bat Delivery
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
Hao Ren actually thought he was rather creative too. Since the time vampires walked the earth and mail service was invented, guess no one actually thought of stuffing one's own bats into a express delivery package.
He took a short while to discuss the knick-knacks with Vivian. The plan was like this: Stuff the bats in the express delivery packages, used human's express delivery service to send them all across Eurasia, to anybody. Since the MDT could search for any locales on Earth in a jiffy, or at most to get it to hack into the delivery system... If the bats were to be delivered to somewhere without a person to receive it. It'll be up to them to escape the packaging to look for their targets.
Of course, Vivian would try to write the names of her old friends as the receipient of the mail, but as to how many will actually reach them it was hard to tell. It had been ten years since she last heard of them. Even if those reclusive old coots had not moved it was not likely the old ways of communication would work.
Well... as long as the bats gets an express ride to where they need to be it's fine.
They would of course need to hide the bats somewhat, or in something that would fit them. Luckily, they managed to get hold of some usable items rather quickly. Hao Ren had managed to find a whole stack of paper boxes and wide-mouthed bottles. They came from Lily's endless junkfood binge, in cans and bottles of various shape and sizes. And oh chocolates too. While it has been told again and again that canines cannot eat chocolates, but Lily paid no heed to it and from the time till now, the amount of packaging was seemingly shocking. Hao Ren too was curious as to why the storeroom beside Vivian's room was stuffed full with the junk. "What are you keeping these for? Didn't throw them out with the rest of the garbage?"
Vivian nodded matter-of-factly again. "Waiting for the recyclers of course. All these could net me at least twenty yuan. That's at least a dozen of eggs."
Hao Ren was stunned. He said to himself that it was rare enough that people would keep old junk for recyclers, it really shows that Vivian was so used to the life of poverty that very cent counts. But yet Vivian still can't save any money. If she doesn't use it soon, chances are she'll lose it somehow...
Seeing the poor vampire with pity, Hao Ren couldn't help but to make a very manly statement. "Don't worry. I will take care of you."
Vivian was very touched by the gesture. "Then I will cook for you for the rest of your life!"
"....This is a bit too easy ain't it?" Hao Ren thought.
The both of them laid out the bottle, boxes and cans on Vivian's desk and starting filling them with the bats. Those wide-mouthed bottles were more than enough for the task and the bats is not cramped in it as well. Hao Ren lifted one of the bats and stared at it, the latter's small black eyes too stared back at it. Feeling uncomfortable, Hao Ren tried to find a topic "Say... will the sealing kill the thing?"
"No, my bats are biologically 'dead' anyway. Vivian waved Hao Ren's concern off. "It'll pass as a corpse specimen easily."
Hao Ren shook the bottles, "Ugh... it feels wrong sealing it in the bottle. Look! It's staring at me."
The bat in the bottle looked away embarassed. Vivian's voice came from the side. "That's me looking at you. I was curious how would the world look like from a glass bottle..."
Hao Ren then remembered that the bats were in fact Vivian's avatars, putting them in a bottle simply gave Vivian an extra odd angle to look at. There was nothing to pity for these bats. These actions that are so common for the supernaturals always seemed to get overlooked by humans.
Stuffing the bats had used up almost all of the empty bottles. Compared to selling them to the recyclers, this was a much better use. At least Lily's gluttonous habits had a positive effect for once. But as he sealed the bottles something popped up. "Wait... you sure these things would pass security checks? Especially living items, it'll be problematic if it were to go overseas..."
Vivian had never used express delivery before. Such 'luxury' was beyond her and as such the thought had never occured to her. "What do we do now?"
Hao Ren pondered for a moment and suddenly clapped. "Didn't you say the bats are dead? If we were to make them look like specimens, we could pass them off as craftworks...."
The idea sounded sensible to Vivian and she pulled out a bunch of cardboards and wires. After checking how a bat specimen would look like she fastened them up on the cardboard. These summoned creatures does not breathe nor have any heartbeat and could easily play the part of a dead animal. After some effort they really looked like your art specimens."
Hao Ren was satisfied with the handiwork. "Good, when we send these out we can just part them as craftworks."
Vivian looked at the bats that were held in a sprawling position and looked away with her face red. "This pose is pretty embarassing..."
"...."
It's really hard to understand what's going on in a non-human lady's head.
"Will they run into any problems though?" Hao Ren was evidently still worried. "Especially if we were to mail them overseas. Human checks are one thing. Will the Demon Hunters monitor this sort of communication channel?"
"Hmmm... there is a risk indeed. But I had already cast a aura removal and diversion spell on each bottle. Unless a Demon Hunter strikes the jackpot and sees what's in it, it will not be exposed."
Hao Ren then only could breath a sigh of relief. After that, both him and Vivian brought two big boxes of bottles and cans up to the living room. Becky was all giddy from excitement by the wait, and she zipped right towards them as she saw the duo. "When are we.... Oh what's here?"
"We'll need to pay the delivery office a visit first to send these out." Hao Ren placed one of the boxes on the tea table and pulled Rollie who can jumped up the table out of curiosity aside. "Oh yea, Hilda, want to come along?"
Hilda was in a stupor while sitted on the sofa. After hearing what Hao Ren said, she only belated shook her head. "No.. I don't need anything."
"Oh, you guys are going out? Shopping?" Vivian only then noticed that most of the group were dressed to go out. Hao Ren nodded at her. "Yes, come along to. Should get you some stuff too."
Vivian did not know what Hao Ren had in mind and seeing that he did not plan to spell it out either, she simply nodded and said her thanks.
The vampire had shed her hesitation towards Hao Ren's generosity, unlike when she just moved in. She knew that even she were to decline, she had no money to get the things herself...
Leaving Hilda who was still in her stupor and Lil Pea who obviously cannot go out at home. Hao Ren and the rest left the house rather noisily. The strongest of the lot, Y'zaks and Lily volunteered to carry the boxes and were in the front of the group. Hao Ren, whilst walking muttered to himself. "High time I get a proper car.... It's a necessary tool anyway. Sides, I've also started learning how to pilot a spacecraft.... and we still need to jostle for public transport?"
While Hao Ren could teleport, he hated the nauseating feeling that came after each teleportation. Besides, teleporting into a big city would simply just spell trouble. As such, unless it is to travel somewhere really far, Hao Ren and the group had to rely on public transport.
Wuyue pondered for a while. "Having a car sure is convenient, but who can drive?"
Hao Ren puffed his chest up and gave it a slap. "Me of course, I can soon pilot a spaceship!"
"What's on the right side then? The brake or the accelerator?"
"..."
"You know, it's okay if you don't know something." Wuyue curled her lips. "I had learned how to drive a LONG time ago... but that time, internal combustion engines were a pretty new invention. You can imagine my driving skills then."
Hao Ren tried to estimate, and was surprised to find that the the time Wuyue had learnt to drive was in the early 1900s. Her driving now would be a death knell for them. No, a death knell for everyone on the road.
Looking around, it does seem that none of them knew how to drive a car. Y'zaks and Becky were out of the question... Wuyue's driving license... is over a century old. Lily... don't have high hopes of her passing the driving exam. Vivian was even more unlikely, having a personal car an item she could only dream of. She was already struggling with the bus fares as it is...
Hao Ren finally proded the MDT, "Can the Administration do something about our short-haul transportation problem? It'll be better if it's self-driving..."
"Can you don't act all goody-two-shoes, just say it if you want to take advantage of your benefits." The MDT sneered as it vibrated. "But I can try to apply something for you. It's just lucky that Mistress Raven had given you the assignment to monitor the supernaturals on Earth, this will serve as a valid reason.
Now Hao Ren could look forward as to what he will receive next month.