Chapter 63 [part 1]
(6)
TN: (≧ڡ≦*) We’re sticking with Katherine~
After their meal, Lucia took a walk with him in the yard. When they were in Roam, he would often take evening walks with her whenever he had time. Her husband was a busy and diligent man.
There wasn’t much of his time that she could have before they retired to bed. So, Lucia was much happier with this leisure time of walking with him than receiving an expensive gift.
“They were all individually beautiful and lovely. Did you choose everything yourself?” (Lucia)
“I did.” (Hugo)
Hugo had just packed them up after one glance but it was correct to say he chose everything himself.
“Do you like it?” (Hugo)
“Yes, thank you.”
Lucia was more grateful for his heart of giving rather than any jewelry.
“You seem to know a lot about female jewelry. I guess because you’ve gifted a lot.”
Lucia wanted to take those words after ot left her mouth. She had no intention of criticizing him and thought that her words had crossed the line. She felt he would be displeased and was about to apologize for her slip of the tongue but he spoke first.
“Vivian.”
He gave a deep sigh, reached out to hold her wrists and stopped walking.
“Can’t you forget the things that happened before we got married?”
Lucia thought he might get angry but he looked unexpectedly vulnerable. She gazed at him blankly.
“Do I keep mentioning things from before our marriage? I’ll be careful in the future.”
“That is not what I meant. This is from a while ago but, do you remember what you said when you asked to modify our contract?”
[Please do not go making lovers without my knowledge. If you get tired or disgusted of me, and want to leave me for another woman, please tell me first. I do not wish to hear it from another person’s mouth.] (1)
“Yes. I remember.”
“I won’t have a lover without your knowledge not will I leave you because I am tired or disgusted of you so I would like it if you trusted me.”
Lucia’s heart began to race. She didn’t know the intention behind his words. A huge whirlwind began to sweep through her mind. She was the one that made a mistake. She didn’t have any reason or right to criticize or mention his past actions before their marriage.
It was possible that he had a personality which was bogged down by rules. Therefore, after the legal contract of marriage was established, he kept to it strictly.
However, that didn’t agree with the person that Lucia had been watching all this time. He was a wilful person that had no qualms of changing the existing rules to suit himself.
“…Why?”
Lucia couldn’t make heads or tails of what he was thinking and mumbled absentmindedly as she looked at him. She wanted him to say something, anything, so she could draw a conclusion that ‘ah, it was a meaningless remark’.
However, his pupils quivered with disappointment. He made a face that said he didn’t know what to say. He repeatedly opened his mouth as if to say something then he closed it.
‘Why…?’
Lucia felt her fingers going numb so she clenched and unclenched her fists. This man in front of her. He was hurt.
The man whom Sir Krotin was so confident of, that no one under the sky could hurt even his fingers, was now in pain from her short words.
A long time ago, Lucia had once felt like this. When she had sharply told him that she would never fall in love with him, just for a short moment, she peeked at his pain.
At the time, she was not in a situation to think deeply so she had pushed it aside. It was such a long time ago that she had almost forgotten her feeling from back then. But now, she was left with a bitter taste in her mouth.
‘Could I have…’
Her heart felt too full for words and ached like it was guilty. It hurt but it was a pain that she hoped wouldn’t end forever.
‘Do I…mean something to you?’ (Lucia)
After carefully choosing with words, Hugo opened his mouth.
“I know you cannot believe me. And I understand why.”
He had made a lot of mistakes with her. Ever since their encounter with Sofia Lawrence, it was the worst. Before they got married, he brought documents and told her not to interfere in his private life.
He omitted the wedding ceremony because he found it bothersome, on their first wedding night, he only satisfied his greed and didn’t take her into consideration. It was himself that thoroughly sought out her body.
“I will try. So, look kindly on me.”
‘Why? Why and for what reason are you trying?’
Lucia looked at him in silence for her question wasn’t answered. As her silence grew longer, Hugo sighed and turned away, sweeping a hand through his hair.
Looking at him fidgeting, Lucia’s eyes gradually began to grow clearer and brighter.
‘Is it a whim?’
She did not know what he did to his other lovers. She didn’t know how he whispered words of love to the person he was once most affectionate with.
The only thing she had seen was the scene of him heartlessly rejecting his lover. And that scene was deeply rooted in her heart as a fundamental fear. She thought that someday, she may be in Sofia Lawrence’s position.
“…I do not care about what happened before our marriage.” (Lucia)
“Really?” (Hugo)
“I do not have the right to.”
“…”
I’m going crazy. Hugo mumbled under his breath. Could any wall be stronger than this? She didn’t, even for an instant, step away from the line that she drew around herself.
“I believe in you.” (Lucia)
“…You do…?”
“I believe that if you get a lover, you will tell me and not meet in secret. You keep your promises.”
Sure enough, she was a witch. In a short moment, she shoved him down a cliff then she pulled him up again. Hugo felt bleak. He didn’t where to start from to unravel the twisted strings. His previous solutions of cutting the twisted strings instead of unraveling them, was of no help in this situation.
“Why do you want me to trust you?” (Lucia)
Hugo was at loss for words. He hadn’t thought about the reason. He barely managed to make up an excuse.
“…You cannot live in the same house with someone you cannot trust.”
When she began to watch him in silence again, Hugo grew nervous wondering if he made a mistake.
‘I have no idea.’ (Lucia)
She knew but she didn’t. It seemed like she was getting close to the answer but it also seemed like she was back to the beginning.
‘Does he…?’
It was a very slight suspicion but Lucia didn’t think it was possible.
Lucia held expectations that she would someday receive his love. It was a vague and huge desire that she didn’t know when it would be accomplished. It could not be that simple. So, she excluded that option while looking for the reason why he was being this way.
‘He does quite like me.’
His actions were not just him being dutiful as a husband. Of course she knew that he saw her favorably and treated her well.
‘Is it that he needs trust because he is fond of me?’
He was a knight, the lord of a family and the lord of a large territory. He was in a position where he couldn’t place someone that he didn’t trust beside him. Trust is completed when it is shared with the other. When she thought of it like that, she could somewhat understand it, although not entirely.
“What you’re saying is…what you mean is, you will be faithful as a husband, so I should trust you, right?”
When she put it like that, it seemed right but also didn’t. Hugo couldn’t exactly put his finger on it so he just nodded.
“Okay, I will.” (Lucia)
Her answer was concise, contradicting the suspense he had been in so far. Hugo looked at her doubtfully. He was afraid she would say something and stab him in the back.(3)
“Depending on how you do.” (Lucia)
Nevertheless, she didn’t betray his uneasy expectations.
“…If it’s a joke, it’s not amusing.”
“I’m not joking.”
Actually, she had said it as a joke but when he took it so seriously, she got embarrassed. She threw out those words prudishly, turned and began to walk ahead.
He looked at her absentmindedly then he took a step forward. He didn’t know what to do to get her to trust him. With the way things were going, he wondered if she would hear some absurd rumor and change her mind.
‘I have to call Fabian.’
Fabian was pronounced to be working overtime today again.