Chapter 104 - Side Story (13) – I’m Sorry. I’ve Loved You All These Years, Yet I’m Not Aware of it!
Editor: Amaris
This spicy chicken system only knows how to ruin the mood.
Ye Chen ignored it and looked at Yu Xingzhe earnestly instead.
What he asked was what it meant to love someone, which was different from ‘like’.
Ye Chen thought for a while before he said, “I can’t exactly word it out, but I could tell you what I’m feeling.”
Yu Xingzhe really wanted to hear Ye Chen’s thoughts. He only hoped that someone could talk to him about it, even if what they talked about couldn’t be used as a reference for his problem.
Ye Chen was quite embarrassed when he said, “I…ehm…I love Ren Jing, so I want to be with him everyday. I feel very happy whenever I think of him. I’d be motivated in doing anything when we do it together. I’d miss him very much when we’re not together. I’d feel very content and comfortable when we’re together even if we’re not doing anything.”
“I’d feel happier if I think of him when I’m happy, and I’d become happy if I think of him when I’m sad. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like to leave him, and I don’t dare to imagine what the future would be like without him.”
As Ye Chen talked, each and every single word that he had said had truly smacked into Yu Xingzhe’s head.
In the end, Ye Chen summed everything up, “To be honest, there isn’t a definite way to describe love. As long as you feel comfortable when you’re with him and always want to be together with him, that’s exactly it.”
So, Ye Chen mustn’t beat around the bush while explaining to someone with low EQ. He had to go totally, extremely straight to the point, which was exactly what Ye Chen was doing: explaining everything in detail.
Wanting to be together everyday… In these six years, no one was more inseparable than SUN and himself.
Feeling very happy when thinking of him, feeling content and comfortable when being together with him, wanting to always be together with him…
All of these had portrayed Yu Xingzhe’s current feelings!
He missed SUN. He would feel happy when he thought of what they had done in the past, and he would feel unhappy when he thought of the present. No need to mention feeling content and comfortable, Yu Xingzhe felt like he was in paradise whenever he was with SUN.
Wanting to always be together…
Aggrieved, Yu Xingzhe muttered softly, “Aren’t I such a fool?”
Noticing that Yu Xingzhe had thought things through, Ye Chen patted him on the shoulder and said like an expert, “It’s not too late yet.”
Death System whistled, “Let me tell you, Old Yu is you without me.”
Ye Chen, “&#k2026;”
Death System said proudly, “You still wouldn’t praise me? Wait, you’re bad with words, so you wouldn’t get to the point even if you praised me! Quick, hire a writer for me and tell them to write a novel of 300K words to honor me. I’ve thought of the title, it’d be called ‘If You Don’t Fall in Love, You’ll Die’!”
Ye Chen, “Death System.”
Death System, “Hmm?”
Ye Chen rolled his eyes. “I’d rather you just let me die now!?”
Afterwards, Ye Chen left. Yu Xingzhe&#k2014;who had figured everything out&#k2014;couldn’t stay still even for a second anymore. He had to find SUN, he had to explain clearly to SUN that he&#k2026;he&#k2026;
The words were already on Yu Xingzhe’s lips, yet he unexpectedly couldn’t say it out loud. In…in any case, he wanted to be together with SUN. He really couldn’t imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else but SUN.
To explain it in a more cliché way—what Yu Xingzhe felt, what else could it be but love?
Yu Xingzhe called SUN, then asked, “Can we meet?”
Before SUN could answer, Yu Xingzhe said again, “Tell me where you are, I’ll look for you.”
Then he added, “I want to talk to you face to face.”
Eventually, SUN spoke, “Have you thought it through?”
Yu Xingzhe answered confidently, “I have! I…I…”
SUN interrupted him. “I’m outside.”
Yu Xingzhe was startled. Without hanging up the call, he already went out of the house while only wearing slippers.
He was staying in a villa inside the city. It had a yard outside. It wasn’t wide, but pretty neat. The moment he went out, Yu Xingzhe noticed that it had actually been snowing last night. A man wearing a dark-colored windbreaker stood in the vast expanse of white, like he was standing at the center of his world.
Yu Xingzhe’s eyes were filled with astonishment. “You’re…”
SUN immediately knitted his brows as he saw Yu Xingzhe. “Why did you come out with nothing on?” He took large steps forward, took off his windbreaker, then wrapped it on Yu Xingzhe’s body.
Yu Xingzhe stared at SUN blankly. “Why are you here?”
SUN paused for a moment before he said quietly, “…I missed you.”
Yu Xingzhe felt like he had been electrified just by these three simple words that he couldn’t lift his head.
SUN led him back into the house. The warm air immediately hit his face and Yu Xingzhe could feel his face burning up fiercely.
SUN said, “I’ll get you a cup of warm water.”
Just when he was about to leave, Yu Xingzhe pulled him.
SUN halted his steps.
Yu Xingzhe raised his head, then said courageously, “I’m sorry!”
SUN was struck dumb by his sudden declaration.
Yu Xingzhe continued, “I’m sorry. I’ve loved you all these years, yet I’m not aware of it!”
SUN’s pupils abruptly shrank. He nearly couldn’t catch what Yu Xingzhe said.
Yu Xingzhe blushed scarlet, but he wasn’t flustered at all. He recalled the past six years and realized that every single day was filled with SUN.
SUN loved Yu Xingzhe, which was why he had given him such a wonderful world.
Yu Xingzhe also loved SUN, which was why he could live happily and comfortably in his world.
They couldn’t do without each other, yet Yu Xingzhe was such a fool to only realize it now.
What is love?
Mutually protecting and understanding each other and making each other happy, that was love.
“You…” SUN’s voice was unusually hoarse. He was somewhat at a loss of what he should say.
Yu Xingzhe looked at SUN, his gaze carrying affection and longing for him. “SUN, I want you to come back. Not as my assistant, but—”
Before he could say ‘as my lover’, SUN had lowered his head and kissed him.
Yu Xingzhe felt a buzz on his head. Shortly after, immeasurable sweetness and joy burst in his chest. He didn’t reject SUN because he liked him; as it turned out, Yu Xingzhe liked everything that SUN did.
Yu Xingzhe was picky, liked to complain, and fastidious. He thought that SUN was a perfect assistant, that SUN had satisfied his terribly bad temper.
But actually… Everything would become the best for Yu Xingzhe as long as it was related to SUN.
After letting go of Yu Xingzhe, SUN asked, “Do you hate it?”
Yu Xingzhe reacted after a long time had passed. He cupped SUN’s face in his hands, then returned the kiss.
Hate? He liked it.
He liked SUN’s smell, liked SUN’s warmth, he liked everything about SUN.
Yu Xingzhe covered his eyes with his hands, then said as he gasped for breath, “I’m sorry, I’ve only realized it now.”
—He had only realized that true love was actually always within his reach and always by his side.
SUN chuckled softly, then gently placed a kiss on Yu Xingzhe’s chest. His low and deep voice reached Yu Xingzhe’s heart through his skin, “I’m sorry, I will never leave you for the rest of my life ever again.”
Yu Xingzhe didn’t go outside for three days. He didn’t look at his cellphone or watch the TV, either. What did he do? Cough, cough… We weren’t allowed to spy, so we couldn’t see anything.
By the time he had recovered, a big clamor had already started outside.
Ren Jing had declared in front of the national audience, “I truly like Ye Chen.”
The author has something to say:
Alright, Mr. Sun had finally caught his fish, hahahaha
The next chapter would be the coming out of the closet to the whole world and…wedding. Hahaha!
According to the circumstances, I might update it at night, or I’ll see you tomorrow. In short…love you all!
T/N: Alright, everyone has become couples now, congratulations! (laughs) In any case, there would be one more final chapter which mainly elaborates on Ye Chen and Ren Jing’s wedding. It’s so very absolutely sweet you’ll gain weight and got diabetes because of it! Kinda sad that the side character’s stories aren’t elaborated further, but well, all is well in the end! Please look forward to it~ tiny recs + ramblings
P.S.: If you’re into J-Pop then you might be interested to listen to the song “SUN” (YES IT’S IN CAPS, COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT) sung by Hoshino Gen (there’s also an MV with the English translations of the lyrics if you’re interested). The song’s lyrics are literally what Yu Xingzhe would say to SUN (or the other way round, both works), albeit his tsundere-ness. Like, these lines? “Let me hear your voice which would clear up the sky and light up the world”, “Let me hear your song that is so clear it could save the world”. LIKE MAN, AIN’T THAT THEIR DYNAMIC? How they loved each other’s voice, smile, and even flaws? How the subtleness of this song reminds me of them? “potatsさんあれは妄想じゃない？” その通りです！そう、その通り。(“potats-san, aren’t these just your delusions?” EXACTLY BRO, EXACTLY.) cough anyway, do give it a listen if you like to “associate” songs with characters or just enjoy music in general. I found Japanese songs quite easy to associate my children with because of how subtle some of them are. The “feel-good” or sometimes subtle melancholy these songs give just made me enjoy them a lot (I’m a mellow potato, mind you). So yeah, give them a try if you don’t mind. I’ll prolly write some more if y’all don’t mind me writing stuffs like this~
P.P.S.: That’s right, SUN’s name is pronounced like how we say the literal “sun” in English. This is confirmed in the audio drama of this novel. It seems to be discontinued as of now, but it had covered until around halfway of the novel (chapter 52 or so iirc)! If you have a voice kink– uh, I mean like pleasant voices, then you’ll probably enjoy the audio drama as much as I do~ I personally really like the casting, I feel they’re very fitting! Especially Ren Jing (the kinda deep (?) but very gentle voice), Death System (now I understand why Ye Chen is so infuriated whenever the system talks), and Yu Xingzhe (THAT SMUGNESS, THAT PRIDE. THE WAY HE CALLED SUN. JUST. CHEF’S KISS)’s voice actors (we didn’t get to hear SUN speaking yet, unfortunately). There are also some very cute (and some other variations, too, but mostly related to romance, of course) songs related or not related to the episode at the end of every episode (some of them are the Chinese cover of a Japanese song, for example, Magnet), if that’s your thing. Honestly I kinda had the urge to translate the audio drama, but I’ll see later after things have settled down~