A week had passed , and I finally decided t o brave stepping outside .
Everyone was being extra supportive , constantly keeping me company or mind linking me t o ask how
I’m feeling or what I’m up to but really , I just needed everyone to act normal .
I didn’t want this pity .
Kiara was the only one who really understood that , when she texted , it was just pictures of the twins or
Dante , or talking about general things .
I just wanted everything to return to normal , but could they ? My emotions were hot and cold , I went
from happy to utterly defeated within moments of each other
.
Sometimes I’d remember flashes of the cottage and him telling me he would wait for me , and then I’d
see him ripping through my neck .
I kept waking up at night , those bottomless pits of his eyes flashing in my mind , his canines out as he
bit me ….
My last thoughts were always the same in my nightmares .
Liam won’t hurt me .
I now wrapped my arms around myself as
I walked through the pack grounds , just fresh air .
wanting to think things through in the I had wanted to return to training but Damon had said it was better I
didn’t , I knew why : Everyone was talking .
I’m going to have to face it sooner or later .
I didn’t want to be cocooned up .
Sighing , I tugged at the sleeve of my ribbed black shirt , which had three buttons at the top which I had
left open .
I was wearing some ripped jeans with net tights under , paired with some black heeled boots .
I looked at the small plushie in my hand .
Sparks … I wanted to go back to the graveyard but I hadn’t been able to … Right now , I just need
someone to talk to .
He was the only real family I had , I’m sure if he was here , he’d love me , right ? I heard snickering and
looked up to see Owen smirking as he walked past me , smart enough not to push me .
Guess he learned his lesson last time .
I ignored him and headed to the graveyard .
It was a dull day today … I pushed open the small gate and made my way over to Renji’s grave .
I sat down on my knees before it and looked down at it .
Like always , it was well kept .
” Hello Renji , I hope you’re ok … A lot’s happened since the last time I came here ….
I’m sorry it took me so long when I promised to meet you …
But I wasn’t allowed to come … I’m sorry .
I wonder if Mom is with you now or not ? ” I asked softly , placing Sparks at the foot of the gravestone .
” Look , Sparks is back … He’s s o happy to be here again .
” I smiled gently as a soft wind blew through my hair .
” I was going to reject Damon .
We were going to do it .
I chose Liam … but … He marked me forcefully … and I haven’t seen him since … ” I whispered , feeling
my eyes prickle .
” I don’t know what to feel .
At times I feel numb , at others confused , upset , hurt … I know what he did wasn’t right , but I also know
that Helios ‘ curse isn’t something we can just ignore .
I’m worried about him .
He’s in the cells , but I’m also … scared … ” ” 1 I covered my face as the tears began
flowing and I sobbed quietly .
” I mention him and everyone gets angry .
I s it wrong that I want to talk to him ? But I haven’t mind linked him either … I … I’m scared … I just I
don’t want him to shut me out .
” I whispered .
I loved him so so much , I get that , but at the same time , I can’t just forget what he did .
The darkness in him was strong , but wasn’t this the time to help him ? The fear of what might happen
was still there , but I was stronger than that .
Someone placed their hand on my shoulder and I gasped , jerking away as I stared up at Nina .
I had been so absorbed i n my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed her .
” Are you ok ? ” She asked with concern clear in her eyes .
I nodded , wiping my tears quickly .
” Yes , I am .
” I said , sniffling .
” You’re a strong woman , Raven .
It’s all going to be ok .
” She said , her eyes filled with confidence as she patted my back .
I hoped so .
Right now , I don’t know what to do ” I’m going to go .
Thank you .
” I said softly .
I stood up and she nodded .
I glanced at Renji’s grave , bidding him a silent farewell before I turned and left the graveyard .
I walked along slowly , trying to make sense of my emotions , remembering a conversation I had with
Uncle El a few days ago when he had visited me at Damon’s … ( FLASHBACK ) ” How do you feel ,
I mean , emotionally ? ” He asked , shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he stood in front of
the fireplace .
It was just the two of us , Damon was out , and although I wanted to return to the packhouse , it would
mean I would have to face everyone .
I looked down at my knees .
How did I feel ? ” Lost … Sometimes I feel like I got this , I can do this … How it’s ok , I’m ok … “
” It’s not ok and it’s alright to feel like that Raven .
” He said quietly .
” I think you need to stop trying to accept things , think deeply of what you want .
‘ ” 1 I stayed quiet and he continued .
” Where’s the confident Raven who was ready to own everything ? I want her back , I want her to
consider her happiness above all .
This curse is not on you , if it’s meant to be broken , it will be .
We can do this but it doesn’t mean you need to be sacrificed or influenced to make decisions because of
it .
I want you to decide what you want without any external factors weighing on your decision .
Without you feeling guilty of this or that .
Until then , I want you to focus on yourself and nothing more .
No what if I do this or it’s because o f this .
” nodded .
” I know , but we do know that the darkness of the curse played a factor .
” ” It did , but it’s not an excuse .
I love him and I am there for him , but you need to stop justifying it .
Think only about your feelings .
Also … If Damon were to markS you , that mark could be removed .
” him .
My eyes widened in shock as I stared up at Remove the mark …
.
” I know that removing it won’t undo the damage it has done mentally , but it can at least get it off you .
” I looked down .
Right now , I didn’t know what I wanted .
Although I knew that I would eventually come to terms with it
.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted , but I had already planned to let Damon go … I wasn’t going to use him to
remove the mark .
Right now , I felt like I didn’t want anyone … I didn’t want a man , I didn’t need one … ” I’ll keep that in
mind .
” I said quietly .
( END OF FLASHBACK ) I stared at the sky .
Live for me … but to do that … I needed to get rid of the baggage from my life … all of it .
‘ Alpha .
‘ ‘ Raven ? ‘ Uncle El’s reply came .
I want Dad’s trial to be soon .
I know it’s been delayed , but let’s not postpone it anymore .
” ‘ Are you sure you’re ready ? ‘ ‘ I want to put this all behind him , I need this .
‘ I said quietly .
‘ Very well , your father’s will be tomorrow , and Liam’s , we will set it for two days after Haru’s .
‘ I knew Liam would eventually be trialled too … But so soon ? ‘ Ok , ‘ I said , quietly cutting the link .
I knew what I wanted to do before then , what I needed to do .
Visit Liam .
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