Chapter 1117. She was afraid that there was no turning back
She sniffed and found an old house in the suburbs. The house was very old and dangerous. Now, no one lived here. Most of them had moved away. There were not many houses left.
“You want to live here?”The landlord looked at Yan Huan for a long time. “500 yuan per month. Do you have it?”
It wasn’t that she looked down on Yan Huan, but rather that she looked down on him. He had made her so angry that she was so honest. Could it be that he had done some shady business.
Yan Huan nodded. He took out 500 yuan from his own pocket and handed it over.
The only reason she lived here was because there weren’t many people. She wouldn’t be discovered by others. The current her was simply shameful, and she didn’t want to be seen by others.
“There’s also a deposit of 500 yuan.”When the landlord saw that Yan Huan was so happy to take the money, he once again opened his mouth to ask for more.
Yan Huan took out another 500 yuan from his pocket, and the landlord took it over in one go. Then, he counted them one by one.
The landlord took a total of 1,000 yuan, but he couldn’t help but take another look at Yan Huan. He really felt that this woman was too strange. It was winter, so even if it was cold, it shouldn’t be to the extent of wrapping herself up like this. However.., she touched the money in her pocket again.
Who cares? The house was rented out anyway. Even if she wanted to ask for a refund, she would not give it back.
As long as the money was in her pocket, it was impossible for her to leave again. This was a month’s worth of food money at home. She could even eat a few more meals.
Yan Huan took the key given by the landlord. The house was really very old. As long as one had some ability, they would not live here. This place was far away from the city, and the surrounding traffic was not very developed. Living Here.., even a bus was difficult to take. It would still take half an hour to find the bus stop. The house was also old, so it was not convenient to do anything.
The house that Yan Huan asked for could be considered the best. Of course, it was also expensive.
One room and one living room. Fortunately, there was a small toilet in the innermost room. It was ventilated on both sides, but the house was empty. There was almost no furniture in it. Other than a bed, it was pitifully empty, there wasn’t even a basin. She had come empty-handed. She hadn’t even brought a single piece of luggage with her. All of her belongings were on her. She only had four thousand Yuan on her back. No.., she only had three thousand Yuan now. Compared to when she was in the Chen family village, she was still in a worse state. Her days were still difficult. At the very least, she could have found a job back then. But now that she was in this state, what kind of job was she going to find, she could not find any job. She was afraid that others would know that she was a recluse. She was also afraid that others would know that she had that kind of illness. Therefore, she did not dare to do anything. She could only hide in this broken place, she also thought of herself as a turtle. She might also hide in this shell for the rest of her life, until the day she died.
She closed the door of the room again. In the cold wind, she hid herself and then lowered her head. She was too ashamed to face anyone. She did not dare to let anyone touch her, and she did not dare to touch anyone, what she was afraid of was the color of othe
rs’eyes, as well as their disgust and disdain for her.
She was afraid of this kind of gaze, and she was also afraid of this kind of life
She walked for about an hour before she found a store. She spent a hundred yuan to buy some things, a set of bedding, a basin, and some daily necessities. Only then did she carry these things again, she walked back. The wind blew on her body from time to time. Her forehead would also perspire because of the heat. However, before long, it would be blown clean by the cold wind at this moment.
The sweat continued to flow, while the other side continued to dry. At this moment, she was hugging a bunch of things. It was as though there was still a long way to go. However, she did not know if she could finish walking.
It was not until she returned that she could not help but want to cry.
She used her sleeve to wipe her tears clean. The cloth was not too soft. When it touched her skin, she could feel the pain of the rough cloth rubbing against her. It was as though the cold wind was cutting her from the outside.
She opened the door again, but it was still the same inside. There was nothing but the old wooden bed. She carried the thing in again, and at this moment, she was as thin as a ghost, she was even thinner than when she was in Chen Village. When she was in the village, she did not have a drug addiction, nor did she have such a dirty disease. No one dared to come into contact with such a dirty disease.
She spent a lot of effort to lay the bedding and other things. There was also a small pillow. This might be her home in the future. It might be the little nest that she had lived in for a long time. It seemed that her life had returned to the past.
She had never returned to the Lu family. She was still the rural woman who had returned from the small mountain village. She had nothing.
No, that was not right. She hugged the pillow in her arms and cried out loud. It was different. It was still different. At that time, she had at least dared to meet three children. She had also dared to recognize three children, but now, she did not even dare to meet them. She touched her face, but she could not feel any flesh. She seemed to be able to touch her bags under her eyes and her face that was green.
There were also needle marks on her arms. Her entire body was covered with disgusting red bumps.
Suddenly, she put down the pillow in her arms. Then, she clenched her hands tightly. The fingernails of her hands were almost sunk into her palms.
Her fingers were grabbing the quilt from time to time, releasing, opening, opening, and releasing. Tears and tears flowed down her face, and she bit the corner of her lips until it was a bloody mess.
In the Blur, she seemed to not know anything. She actually unconsciously went to take her little money, and then began to walk towards the door.
She wanted to go out, she wanted to go out.
She couldn’t help it, she was in pain, Wu..
Let Her die, let her really die.
If living was so painful, why did she still want to live.
Her mother had already been crushed to ashes, her gentle mother, the mother who treated her as everything.
Mother.
Yan Huan suddenly knelt down. No, she hugged herself, she couldn’t go, she couldn’t
go, if she went, there would be no turning back. She couldn’t be seen by others, she couldn’t let others know who she was.
She couldn’t harm Lu Yi, and she couldn’t harm the three children either.
They were all she had. She had never done anything for them, so why couldn’t she hurt them again? No matter how much stain she added to their lives, this stain would never be washed away.
She didn’t want the children to hate her.
She hugged her head. At this moment, her body was no longer hers. She was in so much pain that even her soul was distorted. She knocked her head against the ground, causing her head to be covered in blood.