Chapter 16 – Relationship
Novel Title: 一生之计在于春 (Spring is the Plan of Life)
Author：御小凡 (Yu Xiaofan)
Translator: K (@kin0monogatari)
Protagonists: 姚锦夕 (Yao Jinxi -MC), 吴洋 (Wu Yang -ML)
*Please read at knoxt.space, the original site of translation. TQ*
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How should I talk to Xia Ruonan?
What should I say to that silly girl to make her feel less upset?
Yao Jinxi was in a daze. His head was aching. He had no idea how he had been pushed into a taxi and taken all the way back home by Wu Yang.
“Have some water.”
Yao Jinxi almost instinctively took a few sips from the cup handed to his lips. Then, he felt a cool hand on his forehead, bringing a sense of relief. “You might have a bit of heatstroke. Are you feeling unwell?”
Yao Jinxi sat there, completely silent.
Wu Yang was already familiar with everything in Yao Jinxi’s place. He found the remote control and turned on the air conditioning. Seeing Yao Jinxi like this, he didn’t dare to set the temperature too low. “Do you have any medicine here? Shall I go out and buy some?”
Yao Jinxi remained silent and lost in thought. Wu Yang regretted it a bit. If he had known this would happen, he wouldn’t have gone to buy a car today. Or maybe he wouldn’t have followed Yao Jinxi’s suggestion to buy a car from that store. Then, this wouldn’t have happened.
“You know…” Yao Jinxi suddenly realised and hurriedly took out his phone. “I’ll call Ruonan first. Damn it, we should get her out of there quickly.”
“Calm down a bit.” Wu Yang grabbed his wrist, applying just enough force to stop him but not hurt him. “Ruonan is still at work. How about we go pick her up later to prevent her from overthinking things alone?”
Yao Jinxi’s breathing hitched. He silently put down the phone. “You’re right.”
Wu Yang knew quite a bit about Xia Ruonan too. This girl had no sense of caution and could easily spill all her family secrets in a casual conversation. So Wu Yang knew that Xia Ruonan’s parents were in M City. That was more than two hours away from C City. If Yao Jinxi hurriedly asked this girl to move out, it could be troublesome if she had nowhere to go.
Should he let her stay at Yao Jinxi’s place?
I’m sorry. But I’m the first person who wouldn’t want that.
Wu Yang held Yao Jinxi’s wrist with one hand while the other hand reached for his phone. He dialled a number and said, “Hey? It’s been a while. I’m still the same lately.”
After some pleasantries, Wu Yang asked to borrow a car from the other person. The person agreed readily, even arranging for the driver to come directly. Wu Yang continued to gently rub Yao Jinxi’s thumb with his, as if trying to comfort him, but there was no response. “Hello, I’m the tenant in 1707. Please arrange another room next to mine.”
As he was making arrangements, his eyebrows furrowed. “Yes, check-in before 10 p.m. tonight.”
After hanging up, Wu Yang looked at the hand that had just been released. The touch wasn’t as smooth as he expected.
There was a scar on Yao Jinxi’s wrist. It was not particularly gruesome, indicating that some time had passed since it had happened. But in this location, it definitely wasn’t accidental.
“Huh?” Only now did Yao Jinxi fully awaken from his own world and quickly pull his hand back. He usually wore several loops of Buddhist prayer beads around his wrist, which covered it completely. He had let his guard down about this. And now that someone had suddenly seen it, he felt unprepared and even a bit panicked.
But as soon as he grabbed his wrist, he realised his reaction had been too intense just now. He paused for a moment and then awkwardly let go. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Wu Yang smiled. “Would you like some more water? Are you feeling better now?”
Yao Jinxi nodded with mixed emotions, finally coming to his senses after the shock and anger. He then remembered that this guy in front of him had seemed to be present at the scene just now?
So, did this person know about his homosexuality from earlier and now also the injury on his wrist?
But considering Wu Yang’s tactful personality, he probably wouldn’t ask directly in front of him. Yao Jinxi had no idea what was going on in his mind.
As Yao Jinxi thought about this, he felt an inexplicable discomfort deep in his heart.
Wu Yang asked, “I noticed the injury on your hand just now. Did you accidentally cut it?”
He gestured to his own wrist, as if he was merely curious.
Yao Jinxi hesitated and said nothing, “…”
Could that injury be from an accident? Who would accidentally cut themselves there?
Yao Jinxi couldn’t understand why Wu Yang was intentionally asking about it. It was clear that prying into someone’s privacy like this was not something a person well-versed in social etiquette would do. But since Yao Jinxi remained silent, Wu Yang didn’t push the matter further. He continued to gaze without reservation, showing no intention of avoiding the topic.
Yao Jinxi felt somewhat overwhelmed by this deliberate silence.
At this moment, Wu Yang diverted his gaze. He half-lowered his eyelids and his expression was filled with melancholy. He sighed softly and said, “I’m sorry. I asked too many questions.”
His retreat in the conversation actually seemed to open a floodgate for Yao Jinxi, who had been hesitating. After his nerves relaxed slightly, he let out a long sigh and said, “It’s not that I can’t talk about it. It’s just that I feel you won’t believe me.”
Wu Yang smiled and said, “When I talked about my own matters, you didn’t doubt me, did you?”
Yao Jinxi was momentarily taken aback. He then shook his head with a wry smile. In truth, it wasn’t much of a secret. But he just didn’t want to dwell on it. What was the point of saying it? It wouldn’t make anyone treat him differently.
After a moment of silence, he continued, “It’s quite a coincidence, actually. I’ve also struggled with depression. And it was quite severe. So when I said those things that day, I really understood what you meant.”
That understanding wasn’t just perfunctory. It was genuine. Nothing to be done to make it seem meaningful. Each day felt more disheartening than the last. It was as if life had become an endless, exhausting ordeal.
He was so afraid because he was living but felt as though he were already dead. During that time, Yao Jinxi had experienced an incredibly bleak period in his life.
He lived in a daze, constantly using alcohol and tobacco to temporarily numb his senses. They worked quite well. Unfortunately, people always had to sober up eventually. And when he did sobered up, he would sink even deeper into despair.
It was a vicious cycle.
It was Xia Ruonan who repeatedly dragged him out of the mire when he had been at his lowest. At that time, he had thought, if someone still believed that his existence was worthwhile, then he should live. But it didn’t matter to him whether he lived or not.
But how should he live? What was the right way to go on? The most important person had already given up on him. Everything he had worked so hard for in the past had been abruptly severed.
Every early morning, he would sit on his bed, feeling despair for his place in this vast world. Then, one day, he couldn’t bear the silent screams in his heart any longer and took a fruit knife, viciously cutting his own wrist.
Yao Jinxi didn’t die. And that was all thanks to his unprofessional technique. Cutting one’s wrists and attempting suicide was not as straightforward as it might appear. Xia Ruonan held him in the hospital, crying uncontrollably.
From then on, the childhood friend dared not go to work and stayed by Yao Jinxi’s side day and night. She was there just like Yao Jinxi had done for herself whenever she was frightened by her drunken father and her mother’s madness when she was a child.
Enduring through those difficult times actually made Yao Jinxi view many things more lightly. He began to appreciate how far he had come to become the person he was today.
“I’ve said it before, depression can be overcome. As long as there’s someone willing to be there for you,” Yao Jinxi said with closed eyes, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “Back then, I was too young and just cut my wrist once. But luckily, I survived. Thanks to Ruonan, I managed to pull through.”
Wu Yang asked, “So Xia Ruonan is very important to you?”
Yao Jinxi opened his eyes, wondering how the conversation had veered in this direction. He raised an eyebrow and said, somewhat resigned, “Don’t you think you should comfort me at this point?”
Upon hearing this, Wu Yang raised his head. His gaze shifted from serious scrutiny to one filled with warmth and a hint of a smile. “If you need it, I’m always here to comfort you. But I believe you don’t need it.”
For everyone who had endured the hardships of life, comforting words were unnecessary.
Yao Jinxi felt embarrassed under the gaze that seemed to see right through him. He blushed and said, “Don’t… don’t say that. I’m not that worthy.”
Wu Yang chuckled lightly and asked, “Is it true? As I once thought, do you like her?”
Yao Jinxi was speechless, “…”
Wu Yang seemed very interested in this question. He started to ponder and reason about it with a persistence that Yao Jinxi couldn’t quite understand. He then sighed and remarked, “Are you two like star-crossed lovers who never got to be together?”
“I’ve known Ruonan since we were kids, you know? I met her many years before she met Wang Peng,” Yao Jinxi had to follow Wu Yang’s lead in the conversation. “Ruonan is like family to me. If I truly liked her, would I have given Wang Peng a chance, that jerk?”
Wu Yang nodded in agreement and added, “Besides, you’re gay, aren’t you?”
Yao Jinxi: “…”
Yao Jinxi felt both embarrassed and frustrated. He was unsure of what Wu Yang meant by saying that so casually. He didn’t sound sarcastic at all. It was as if he were saying, ‘You like the colour blue’, in a completely natural tone.
This version of Wu Yang today was quite unusual, wasn’t it? Yao Jinxi didn’t know how to respond and could only awkwardly chuckle, “You heard that, huh?”
Wu Yang replied warmly, “Yes. You mentioned it several times.”
Yao Jinxi: “…”
In society, there were indeed people who didn’t care about someone’s sexual orientation. Yao Jinxi himself didn’t go out of his way to hide it. But he felt it would be a shame if the only person he had a close relationship with, apart from Xia Ruonan, were scared away by his sexual orientation.
But wasn’t Wu Yang’s reaction too nonchalant? It seemed to contrast with his own worries, making him feel like a fool.
Yao Jinxi redirected his frustration towards Wu Yang without thinking, adopting a somewhat provocative tone as he asked, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. But don’t you have any thoughts about it?”
Wu Yang was amused by Yao Jinxi’s flustered appearance. In a rather delightful mood, he stroked his chin and asked with a smile, “Thoughts? What thoughts should I have? If you’re gay, does that mean you might fall for me?”
How was one supposed to respond to that?
We’re not even remotely the same, are we?
Yao Jinxi cleared his throat and turned his head away. He replied without much thought, “No way.”
Wu Yang fell silent and the room became quiet. Yao Jinxi thought he hadn’t said anything wrong. But the uncomfortable atmosphere made him feel uneasy.
Fortunately, at that moment, Wu Yang’s phone rang. “Hello. Have you arrived?”
He got up and went out to pick up the phone. He returned shortly. His expression had softened compared to earlier. He spoke, “It’s about time. Let’s go pick up Xia Ruonan.”
Seeing that Wu Yang didn’t continue with the awkward topic from earlier, Yao Jinxi breathed a sigh of relief. “Do you think Wang Peng will also go to pick her up?”
“You think Wang Peng has the ability to keep it a secret?” Wu Yang said casually. “This will come out sooner or later. Xia Ruonan’s ID is not with him, right? I’ve booked a hotel too. At the very least, don’t ask for anything from him and just move out. The main thing is for her not to be at a disadvantage.”
Being overly concerned led to chaos. Yao Jinxi was actually quite clueless about this matter. Seeing that Wu Yang had made arrangements, he instinctively went along with it. “Sure. Let’s go then.”
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*Translator’s Note: Wu Yang was hoping to hear that YJX had fallen for him hahahaha. By the way, Xia Ruonan deserves a better man! -K
Next update: 2023.10.13
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