Book 61 Chapter 1 – What is life
Seeing Ba Fenghan’s hand on the sword’s hilt, Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling were shocked; two pairs of eyes shot a beseeching look at the same time, asking him to be magnanimous, to momentarily hold back his temper.
Fu Junyu’s pretty eyebrows were deeply knitted even more, her pair of eyes was filled with vile expression.
Ba Fenghan shook his head and smiled wryly, his hand left the Stealing the Heaven Sword’s hilt, he spoke heavily, “I, Ba Fenghan believe that no one, including Fu Dashi, practically has the ability to make an aloof or ultimate judgment on life. We don’t know where it came from, let alone what the outcome of life will be? Otherwise, we would be omniscient immortals.”
Fu Cailin let out a sigh, he spoke tranquilly, “An honest remark, sit down!”
The four men exchanged glances, they began to understand that Fu Cailin was not hoping to get an accurate answer, but was just using this as a pretext to weigh their importance to see if they had the qualifications to be seated.
Kou Zhong nudged Xu Ziling lightly, telling him to speak first, implying that he still needed time to think.
Xu Ziling collected his mind, pondered with rapt attention for a moment, and said softly, “For me, although life is a mystery that no one can solve, it is not without a trace that cannot be found, the trails are hidden within each individual, nevertheless, due to the uncrossable chasm between life and death, in the end it is broken. This is the direction, as well as the destination – that the people in Buddhism and Taoism are striving to pursue. Only by understanding the secret of one’s own existence can one have the chance to solve the mystery of life.”
Fu Cailin said, “Is the speaker Xu Ziling?”
Shi Feixuan’s jade countenance emerged in Xu Ziling’s heart, he visualized that the answer could be provided by her immortal heart. Hearing the question, he respectfully replied, “It indeed Wanbei [junior].”
Fu Cailin spoke softly, “The answer is not bad, no wonder Junchuo considered you worthy in her eyes, sit down!”
Kou Zhong exchanged glances with Xu Ziling, hope appeared in their hearts, because Fu Cailin was not as bad as they imagined.
Kou Zhong secretly cried his granny’s bear in his heart, and then, throwing caution to the wind, he said, “This kid’s answer definitely cannot compare to Ziling’s, ay! What can I say? Because this is a question that I don’t want to take trouble to, so much so that I am afraid to – ponder about. Life passes in the blink of an eye, yet so long, so insufficient, yet so satisfactory. I often wish that life was just a big dream, and that after waking up, there will be another one, not the absolute darkness and nothingness! This is the awful thought, which also makes people trembling with fear – that turns around in my little head.”
Fu Cailin was silent for half a day, he finally said, “If there is no feeling, how could one speak thus? Sit down!”
Fu Junyu instructed in a low voice, “After taking off your boots, take a seat anywhere and sit down, no need to stand on ceremony, as long as it is comfortable.”
Ba Fenghan shook his head with a wry smile. Seeing the other three were so obedient, he had no choice but to follow suit.
Kou Zhong was the first to set foot on the white carpet, he cast his gaze first toward Fu Junqiang, half-reclining on the pillow at the head position on Fu Cailin’s lower right, displaying charming attitude. Immediately Fu Junqiang knew something was not right, her almond eyes grew big, revealing a strong expression of protest. Kou Zhong grinned and came to her side. Unexpectedly he lay down only two or three chi apart, to shar the same big putuan with her, he even called, “Jiang Yi, how are you?”
Ignoring Fu Junqiang’s angry-to-half-dead touching expression, he cast his gaze to the ‘Yijian Dashi’ Fu Cailin, who was ranked among the three great grandmasters in the world, immediately he stared in awe.
Xu Ziling came beside him and sat cross-legged, Hou Xibai found a set of soft pillows diagonally opposite, Ba Fenghan moved to the farthest end from Fu Cailin; he was the last one to take his place. One after another they cast their gaze toward Fu Cailin. Just like Kou Zhong, they were stunned.
Looking at Fu Cailin’s tall and big and perfect back, hearing his pleasant-to-listen-to voice brimming with exotic charm that could make people willing to obey, coupled with the flowery countenance and charming attitude of the crowd of Gaoli beauties, the four men made an associative connection that he had an outstanding, great, so much so that it was without any blemish – face, however, the fact was just the opposite, Fu Cailin had a strange and ugly appearance that could never be called handsome.
He had an unusually narrow face, the five-sense organs on his face [nose, eyes, lips, tongue, ears], none was not a shortcoming that no one would wish to have; furthermore, they seemed to be crammed together into a pile on his face, making his forehead appeared unusually high, the outside of his slender lower jaw formed a bag, appearing a little bit out of place and redundant, the curved nose bridge was unusually tall and huge, making his pair of eyes and mouth appeared to be tiny in comparison, fortunately his jet-black hair was long, draping across his two shoulders, offsetting the incongruity between his wide shoulders and narrow face. Otherwise, it would appear even more awkward and weird.
This moment, his pair of eyes was closed, as if listening to some kind of celestial rhyme and wonderful melody between the heaven and earth that only his ears could hear.
On the platform in the middle of the pond, the crow and peacock made no sound, the Ling Yan Pond was rippling, the breeze was blowing across the vast space enclosed by the gardens and pavilions along the lakeshore. Facing such a peculiar individual and various Gaoli beauties with a deep exotic bearing, the four men had long forgotten that not only they were deep inside the Tang Palace, even more so, they were inside the City of Chang’an, where the clouds of war dominated the current situation of the world, and that the situation was dangerous.
Fu Cailin still did not open his pair of slender eyes with deeply sunken and drawn eyelids; he spoke leisurely, “Do you guys like the fragrance of agarwood?”
Hou Xibai came back to his senses, he nodded and said, “I have always liked this incense.”
Fu Cailin sighed lightly and said, “The agarwood incense comes from agarwood tree. The wood is heavy, dark in color, and the part infected by plant disease is full of resin, so the fragrance is strong. This kind of fragrant wood due to plant disease infection could take the shape of a human or a beast. Of the various shapes, the rarest is the black agarwood in the shape of a fairy.”
When the four heard it, they were all emotionally touched. Fu Cailin had an unperfect, almost morbid appearance, yet the owner of this face created a perfect Yijian sword technique, and pursued perfection in everything.
Hou Xibai chanted, “Deep water-smoke [shredded tobacco for water pipes] rising in spirals, the cries of the crow forming the night scenery. Hibiscus waves on the curved pond, white jade waistline is cold.”
The singing voice swirled and lingered in the night sky, winding around the moon without dispersing.
Hearing that, not only the crowd of girls were fascinated, Fu Cailin was also emotionally moved; he said, “Good singing!” Finally, he opened his eyes to look at Hou Xibai.
The four were staring blankly again.
The five sense organs, which were originally, because opened or closed, they were crowded together and appeared cramped and out of proportion, unexpectedly all of a sudden becoming like a curled person stretching out the four limbs of his body to become a tall and strongly built man, the entire face immediately like shedding its mortal body and exchanging its bones, suddenly become whole. Although the nose was still the same nose, the mouth was still the same mouth, the eyes were still narrow and long, the forehead was high and the chin was more oriented, but this moment they came together and no longer looked ugly, making people feel that the boundary between the extremely beautiful and the extremely ugly not only could be blurred, but could also be surpassed. And the biggest contributor to this effect must be a pair of eyeballs inside the eye sockets, which was as agile as the immortals, like the brightest stars in the night sky, embedded in the matching long eyes, like seamless heavenly clothes.
Fu Cailin seemed to have just come alive at this time, his eyes fell on Kou Zhong’s face, who was just a pillow away from Fu Junqiang, he spoke indifferently, “I like agarwood, not just because of its fragrance, but because it reminds me of the greatest gift in life on the earth; would Shaoshuai like to guess it? The clue lies in chenxiang [agarwood], two characters.”
A feeling like a child’s admiration welled up in Xu Ziling’s heart, not only because Fu Cailin was Fu Junchuo’s shizun [revered master], but also because Fu Cailin’s pair of eyes flickered with the eternal, profound and infinite, reluctant-to-part vigor for life. Since his debut, this was the first time he had come across such a character.
Kou Zhong, however, cried, ‘Not good!’ inwardly. Turned out Fu Cailin loved to play quiz games this much; but it was always better than moving a saber and moving a spear. The problem was the consequences if he could not answer or if he answered incorrectly, whether he would be out of the game. He hastily said, “Dashi must never, ever call me Shaoshuai. Speaking about relationship … hey!”
Noticing Fu Junyu, who was sitting not far from Hou Xibai, staring fiercely at him, he promptly changed his mouth; he said, “I’m just a junior [orig. houjin xiaobei, lit. entering later, little generation; both mean ‘younger generation’. As I mentioned before, if any word had synonyms, Huang Yi would use as many as he could.], just call me Xiao Zhong. Ha! Chenxiang, chenxiang, what did it remind me of?”
Casting his gaze at Fu Junqiang by his side, he got sudden inspiration, laughing aloud, he said, “Of course it reminds me of a beauty like Qiang Yi! People say girls are sweet-smelling [chenxiang, lit. deep/heavy fragrance]!”
Fu Junqiang puffed out her cheeks and said angrily, “If you dare to call Qiang Yi again, I will cut off your stinky head and see how you are going to blab in the future?”
Smiling mischievously, Kou Zhong said, “Qiang Dajie [big sister], calm down.”
He cast his gaze at Hou Xibai again, seeing him revealing favorable expression, his confidence doubled, he respectfully asked Fu Cailin, who was sitting due south, “Is this kid’s answer correct?”
Fu Cailin did not seem to care about the quarrel between Fu Junqiang and Kou Zhong at all, he smiled tranquilly and said, “Any question can have different answers, Shaoshuai’s straightforward answer makes me happy, a beautiful woman is surely a gift [charity out of pity] from Heaven to men.”
Turning to Xu Ziling sitting at Kou Zhong’s lower left, he said, “What are you thinking when you hear the word chenxiang?”
Xu Ziling thought that the question and answer was over, he was thinking about the difference between the three great grandmasters, such as Ning Daoqi’s indifference to fame or gain, letting things take their own course [Daoist doctrine of inaction], Bi Xuan’s advocacy of military force and war, then Fu Cailin must be in the pursuit of, to learn through experience, and was curios of – life.
Hearing the question, he was startled, and then was silent for a moment. A thought came to his mind, he replied, “To have agarwood, we must have water. I wonder if Dashi is thinking about water?”
Beyond the four men’s expectation, Fu Cailin’s pair of eyes emitted deep sorrow, he looked up at the night sky, the tone of his voice brimming with pain, he said, “Both of you are people with outstanding innate talent, so I can almost see the scene when Junchuo came across you in the past.”
Feigning anger coquettishly, Fu Junqiang said, “Shizun!” It was such a touching demeanor of a spoiled little girl that did not get what she wanted.
Fu Cailin evoking the load in their mind, at once Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling felt their spirit wounded their soul broken, they were speechless; they had no time to bother about Fu Junqiang’s displeasure even more.
Fu Cailin did not seem to hear Fu Junqiang’s expression of displeasure either, he spoke slowly, “Water is the source of life, the foundation of life, the miracle that can make people praise without reservation. If water is the cause, flowers are the result. Like the Jin Peng Lai [golden daisy goosefoot, Asteraceae Chenopodium album (please understand, I am not a botanist, these are all from the dictionary)] by my side, in the mountain and fields in early spring, it is the first to bloom, like clumps of red clouds of the beautiful nature. Beautiful women are the most glorious flower. The daytime belongs to fire, the nighttime is the water’s world. Because agarwood’s specific gravity exceeds the water, when placed in water, it will sink, hence it is called sinking fragrance [chenxiang, see above]; if there is no water, how could agarwood come to be?”
Hou Xibai raised his head and took a deep breath of the fragrance, his heart and spirit intoxicated, he said, “Whatever the name of the fragrance, they are all so touching; Su Yan Si Nuan Jiang Ye Xiang [no idea, lit. white/plain smoke, thinking about warmth, falling leaf fragrance], good name! Good name!”
Even Ba Fenghan greatly felt that it was very fortunate that Hou Xibai came along in time, because among the four, Hou Xibai’s temperament was the closest to Fu Cailin’s, as if they were the same type of people, while he himself was the exact opposite.
Fu Cailin looked at Hou Xibai, his eyes returned to the mysterious, unfathomable spirited flame, he nodded slightly. Turning to the sitting-at-the-other-edge-of-the-carpet, his-back-leaning-against-the-stone-railing-of-the-platform, facing-him-from-a-distance, looking-at-him-with-his-not-abnormal-eyes Ba Fenghan, he said, “Since knowing that ye all were coming to Chang’an, Junqiang has been saying one thing in my ear, while Junyu is saying another thing in my other ear. For this reason, the two sisters are still not talking to each other, as incompatible as fire and water. It is thus clear that differences in the world give birth to fighting, give birth to things that are difficult for mankind to avoid. What is Ba Fenghan’s view on this?”
Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling knew that Fu Junyu had done her best to speak good things on their behalf, they cast a grateful look at her, but Fu Junyu expression was wooden, she hung her head without saying anything.
Hou Xibai was feasting his eyes on the beauties; all the Gaoli beauties, everyone’s demeanor was quiet, as if they enjoyed immensely tonight’s atmosphere and dialog, only how many of them could understand Han language, he wondered.
Ba Fenghan’s pair of eyes shone brightly, he met Fu Cailin’s extremely intimidating eyes, and said with a calm laugh, “Just like Dashi said, day is fire and night is water. Day and night, water and fire’s opposition is precisely the driving force for the development of all things in heaven and earth. As a person, one individual will have limitations. But precisely because of our finitude that we feel infinite; only through the experience of life can we have the fear and cognition of death. Individual is limited, but the expansion can be infinite. This is Ba Fenghan’s biased view, Dashi please give directions.”
Not for the monk’s sake but for the Buddha’s sake [idiom: to do something for someone out of deference to someone else]. Due to Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling’s relationship with Fu Cailin, for Ba Fenghan, this remark could be considered polite and courteous, but it was still brimming with rebuttal implication. The last sentence ‘biased view’ appeared to be humble, it appeared to be worthy of praise even more.
Hearing that, Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling were heart-alarmed-guts-palpitating; Fu Cailin’s words and actions were difficult to predict. They were afraid that one word went wrong, Ba Fenghan would immediately have to endure his Yijian Technique.
Fu Junqiang by Kou Zhong’s side cursed in a low voice, “How could summer bug talk about ice? Humph! What an ignorant guy.”
These few words should only be heard by the two boys, because it was transmitted to the two using focusing-the-voice-into-a-thread skill, who would have thought that Fu Cailin’s right ear slightly rose up and opened, and he cast a glance toward Fu Junqiang, showing a look of reproach, before turning his attention to Ba Fenghan again, a hint of smile escaped from the corner of his lips, which gradually expanded like a ripple.
Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling secretly exclaimed, ‘Formidable!’. Such a ‘listening skill’, this was the first time that they encountered. From this, it could be inferred that their Shigong’s senses were so acute. No wonder he could use man to play [yi] the sword [jian], and use the sword to play the enemy.
Deeply emotional, Fu Cailin looked at the touching night sky with the beautiful moon embedded and suspended in it. His thoughts wandering far away, he pondered aloud, saying, “From the finitude of men, you can see infinity, it is already a human’s extraordinary view. If one can open the eyes of the soul and penetrate all greed, anger, confusion, fear, selfish desire, he will be able to see himself and the miracles that surround him. No matter how humble or great, foolish or wise you are, it is a miracle in itself. Life is the pinnacle of the whole existence; of all living things, only human beings have free will, able to reflect and make decisions about their own existence. Life contains both finiteness and infinity, being aware of oneself is the only way leading to the knowledge of his own existence. The existence of every life is in the eternal spark in endless growth and decay, the fragment of the long river of life and fraction of the waves.”
The four men could not help but follow his example to look at the beautiful night moon, which gave birth to profound feelings.
Fu Cailin was recounting the philosophy of life and existence, one kind of world view that was beyond ordinary people. From the dark starry sky, to each blade of grass, each tree on the ground, white clouds and flowing water, and the life that exists in it, its own existence is exactly as he said, unimaginable miracles and mysterious secret. Because of their own limitation, men do not know where all these come from? Where do they go? For most people, their choice is to turn a blind eye, to bury their heads and indulge in the glory of life and disgrace of death of the world, from which they cannot extricate themselves. Only a sage like Fu Cailin was able to, from self-recognition – open his inner eyes, and see the mystery beyond existence.
Even Ba Fenghan, listening to his words, showed a pondering expression, momentarily he could not say anything.
Fu Cailin continued, “Since coming out of Niang’s womb, along with the growth and changes of life, we gradually wake up from the haze, just like waking up from a dream, stepping into another dream that we regard as being ‘awake’, following personal preference, choosing different ways of life, so much so that we even ignore the miracles of life. However, in everybody’s deepest heart, we all know that blindly pursuing materialistic desires is merely finding joy in sorrows in the midst of having no other choice, which is just wallowing in life. Therefore, oftentimes we feel inadequate, yet clearly there is no other way. This is precisely the situation where we are at this moment.”
After a short pause, he went on, “All my life, I have been seeking for something unknown, because I think that it can bring a deeper meaning to life. When I look at the night sky, or a Jin Peng Lai, or even a touching female, I will feel closer to what I want to pursue. Buddha proposed that everything is empty, in contrast to the helplessness and hope, the pain and happiness – of life’s existence, as a way to be aware of its existence. My interest in religion does not stop there, the meaning of life can only be sought within, what happens outside is just some kind of sense of the inside.”
Ba Fenghan’s eyes softened, he looked at Fu Cailin, let out a long sigh, and said, “Thank you, Dashi for giving directions.”
Xu Ziling has been paying attention to Hou Xibai; listening to the discourse, the latter was dumbstruck. He thought that among the four of them, the one who felt the deepest and benefited the most must be Hou Xibai. Both he and Fu Cailin were people who pursued perfection. The difference was in Hou Xibai, he indulged in beauty itself and its appearance, capturing the true appearance of beauty through artistic means; while Fu Cailin pursued the true meaning behind beauty, the boundaries between beauty and ugliness were more due to his superb views and understanding, not because they existed.
Kou Zhong heaved a deep sigh and said, “Only this moment, tonight, I really understand what it means by ‘everyone has a fully self-sufficient treasure trove hidden deep within himself’, which, according to what Niang passed on to us, you, Shigong said it. Ay! It has been so many years!”
Surprisingly, Fu Junqiang did not immediately lash out on him, she only let out a cold snort.
Fu Cailin’s eyes fell on Kou Zhong, he said in astonishment, “You guys still consider Junchuo as your Niang?”
Xu Ziling breathed a sigh of relief in secret, at least, because Kou Zhong called him Shigong, Fu Cailin did not get angry, whether Fu Cailin took no account of the past or not, he was still unsure.
Because he doubted that Fu Cailin was someone who would never get angry, he could not determine it based on this.
Smiling wryly, Kou Zhong said, “Niang’s kindness to us was as heavy as the mountain, in our hearts, she will always be the closest relative that we respect and love the most. Ay! I hope you, Shigong can understand that we did not kill Yuwen Huaji but let him take his own life instead, there was some other secret trouble within this matter, absolutely not because we have forgotten our roots.”
Fu Junqiang finally could not hold back, she said angrily, “The facts are all there, you still want to argue?”
Xu Ziling hastily explained, “It’s like this …”
Fu Cailin raised his hand to cut him off, his expression peaceful, he said, “Do you know why I practice swordsmanship?”
Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling’s two hearts immediately sank straight down, they cried, ‘Not good!’ inwardly. A person with such a vivid and extraordinary understanding of life, since he could master exceptional, matchless swordsmanship until his name shook inside and outside the Great Wall – beyond their inability to guess and transcended their thought, they could never be able to guess how he was going to deal with them – even more.
Ba Fenghan’s pair of eyes lit up, he spoke indifferently, “I would like to hear the details!”