Translator: Polarbearadise
Editor: Mosstree
The next day, Wang Zhong Ding went on a business trip again, this time he was invited to attend a leadership summit and a series of related social events, going back and forth would have taken at least a week.
Han Dong, this scourge, was also assigned to a new manager——Ji Tao.
“I hope that when Chief Wang comes back, he will see an artist who fully meets the aesthetic requirements of our company. The time is short and it's an arduous task, you’ll have to put in a lot more effort these days.” Said Feng Jun, patting Ji Tao's shoulder.
Ji Tao nodded. “I understand.”
“Especially those crooked ways and superstitious thoughts in his mind must be thoroughly eradicated! This is what Chief Wang can't endure the most, if these can't be changed, the rest is out of the question!”
The expression in Ji Tao’s eyes was firm, “So long as he is in my hand one day, then there will be no possibility for him to dress up as God, and play the devil.”
“I’m relieved to hear you said that.”
When Han Dong saw Ji Tao, he felt like he was seeing a “Non-westernized version” of Wang Zhong Ding. The so-called “Non-westernized version” was that excluding Wang Zhong Ding's western style of clothing, his personality and attitude was the same as Wang Zhong Ding.
On the first day of the training, Ji Tao invited a professor, who has been dealing with “exposing superstition and promoting science” propaganda work for many years, he often gave speeches all over the place, in the form of using his own experience as an example to enlightened many people, who were in ignorance.
“Let me ask you, young man, what do you think of superstitions?”
Han Dong didn't even think and said: "We need to abandon the superstitious ideas."
The professor was a little confused, wasn't this person without any issue? He cast an inquiring gaze toward Ji Tao, Ji Tao raised his chin, signaling for him to continue,
Han Dong’s words absolutely can't be trusted.
The professor turned back his gaze again on Han Dong's face, “Since you are not superstitious, why are you still keen on fortune-telling?”
“Aren't these two a contradiction? How do you know that fortune-telling is superstitious?”
The professor said: “There is no scientific basis for fortune-telling, if it isn't superstition, then what could it be?"
“Who says fortune-telling has no basis? Fortune-telling is a predicting method for professionals to analyze a person’s fortune based on one’s birth data, combined from year, month, day, hour, heavenly trunk and earthly branch, it’s a way to predict their good and bad luck, disaster and happiness. Listen carefully, I'm a professional, not a charlatan. It’s to analyze and predict, not to jump to the conclusion. The saying that fortune telling is superstition is a kind of superstition in itself, don't come here and delude the people with lies, OK?"
Ji Tao’s complexion changed, but out of respect for the professor, he didn't open his mouth to interrupt.
“I’m superstitious? I'm deluding the people with lies?” The professor almost couldn't breathe.
Han Dong has a matter-of-fact expression, “Yes, you! What is superstition? Superstition refers to people’s blind trust and worship of things. How did superstition come about? It is because people’s cognitive ability is limited relative to the huge unknown space, and it will lead to groundless speculation and inference when they encounter unsolvable problems. In this case, let me ask you, do you know what is wealth, mandate, seal, auspicious god and evil spirit? Do you know the four pillars of destiny? Have you ever read "The Study of Human Biological Rhythms", "The Book of Changes", and "Geographic Dialectics"? If you don’t know anything, isn't it a superstition to assume that fortune-telling is superstitious? Was I wrong to say that you are misleading people?”
The professor was shocked by Han Dong, he couldn't even say a word.
Ji Tao called the professor outside, soothing his emotions while he said: “This person talks cunningly and craftily, with preposterous argument, you can't outspeak him, directly lay out the truth!”
A few minutes later, two extras came into the classroom. One was wearing a Daoist robe and a black gauze cap, walking while shaking his head, mumbled something in his mouth: “The science of fortune-telling is to dispel diseases and eliminate evil spirits; Turns misfortune into blessing……” The other person hunched, hobbled, acting as an ailing old lady.
Han Dong held a small cigarette in his mouth, watching them cheerfully.
Old lady: Great immortal ah, can you tell my fortune, how do I ward off evil to avoid calamities?
Great immortal: Hold on to your faith and things will go your way! One calculation will be clear! If my calculation is correct, give me money for incense; If my calculation is incorrect, I will not ask for a single penny.
Old lady: I’ve been suffering from chest congestion, nausea, and dizziness.
Great Immortal: (grim expression) you are possessed by the snake spirit, If it's not eradicated, your life will be in danger.
Old lady: (In a state of panic) Great immortal, quickly save me!
Great Immortal: (shut his eyes and say) The snake spirit is really vile, stirring up all kinds of trouble and causing many disasters! Wait until I subdue this snake spirit and make it show its true form, let's see where it will hide? (taking a piece of white paper from his pocket) Look, there’s nothing on it.
“Just a minute!" Han Dong suddenly interrupted, he directly walked over to them and took the piece of white paper in the Great Immortal’s hand, “Ok, let me help you!” He then sprays a mouthful of saliva, then informed the Great Immortal, “The snake has come out. Next time, use a little colorless phthalein powder, look at the tail of this snake, it was cut into pieces.”
The Great Immortal and the old lady looked at each other, should this act still need to be continued?
Han Dong grudgingly ridiculed, “An almost a hundred years old folktale and still have the face to copy it indiscriminately? Who the hell wrote the screenplay for you guys? Call that person over for me! I want to preach a little on how to also write something children would love to see!”
After he finished speaking, Han Dong then pulled out a red flower from the plant pot next to him, took a glass bottle, removed the lid, and put the lid on the red flower. After a moment, the red flower turned white.
“This……” The Great Immortal fell to his knees, "How did you do that?"
The professor at the side showed a look of disdain on his face, “There is a chemical in the bottle, of course, the color would fade. Chattering interminably for half a day, isn't it still using scientific principles?”
Han Dong walked up to him and asked with a smile, “Professor, did you get a fishbone stuck in your throat?”
The professor’s complexion changed, “How did you know?"
“Did you use a lot of methods, but still can't get the fishbone to go down?”
The professor admitted, “I’m planning to ask the doctor to remove it with a pair of tweezers."
Han Dong didn't continue to ask, instead, he fetched a bottle of water out of the professor’s bag and brought it to the professor for him to drink a mouthful of it. “See if you can swallow it down with water?”
“I drank several bottles of water and it still was no use.”
Han Dong said: “I'm just asking you to give it a try."
The professor tried drinking a mouthful of water again, and the result was the same, it simply wouldn't go down.
Han Dong took that bottle of water, poured it into a clean water glass and placed two crossed chopsticks on top. He held out three fingers of his left hand as a stand to hold the glass, the fingers of his right hand in a shape of a sword and pointed to the water in the cup, repeating a few words in his mouth.
Then he handed it to the professor, “You can drink it again this time.”
Yeah right……How can this damn thing be useful? The professor took the glass with a cold face.
As a result, just as he took a sip, the expression in his eyes changed.
“How was it?" Asked Han Dong.
Although the professor didn’t want to admit it, but the answer was written on his face, he can't refuse to accept it ah!
“What did you do?" The professor's face was incredulous.
Han Dong spread out his hands, “This water is what you just drank, the cup is also taken from here, how can I tamper with it?”
“This……" The professor was left speechless.
Ji Tao still couldn't accept it, and even suspected that Han Dong and the professor had known each other before.
To expose Han Dong’s trick, Ji Tao personally found a cup and chopsticks, as well as water that was tested without any additives. He didn't trouble anyone and stubbornly swallowed a fishbone himself, moreover, he swallowed very deep, using many methods was useless, a few people watching even advised Ji Tao to go to the hospital.
Ji Tao turned his eyes to Han Dong, terrorizing force up to one hundred percent, take it, if you have the ability, then take it out for me right now!
Han Dong deliberately asked everyone to check his hands, making sure that he didn’t have anything corrosive hidden, then calmly and composedly brought the cup of water and chopsticks over, and walked through the procedure just now again.
“Please drink!" Han Dong personally placed it on the side of Ji Tao’s mouth.
Ji Tao took the cup with an expressionless face and drank a mouthful of water.
“How was it? ” Asked everyone.
Ji Tao was instantly stunned, the expression in his eyes was somewhat distorted.
The crowd was in an uproar.
One person suddenly mentioned: “A friend of mine went on a trip the year before last year and saw a similar performance in a minority scenic spot, it was called something 'ossification'. It's said to be able to swallow slag glass and staple, at that time, I even thought that it was a scam!”
“It’s a scam.” There was a black line going down Han Dong's face, “Slag glass……could kill, never mind.”
Just as his voice fell, the silent in the classroom instantly become a boiling cauldron of voices.
“Master, when can I get rich”
“Master, to tell you the truth, I always feel like there is a little demon haunting me.”
“Master, master, a fortune-teller said I had a disaster this year, please help me take a look at it.”
"……"
The professor could not bear it any longer, he forcefully pulled Han Dong out of the crowd and dragged him to a hidden corner outside, his eyebrows was instantly infected with a layer of a smile, "I see, kid so you're a cultured person."
Han Dong burst into loud laughter, “That's right, if you have time let's exchange knowledge.”
Two days later, in the same classroom, Han Dong was dressed in Western-style clothes, overbearingly handsome as he walks on the podium.
“Today we are going to talk about sleep paralysis. Most people are not really experiencing sleep paralysis because sleep paralysis has a lot of associated symptoms. Furthermore, ‘Sucking life energy’ is, even more, a complete nonsense, how can that childish act benefit the ghost……"
(T/N: 鬼壓床 – Sleep Paralysis or literal translation is ghost pressing on body or ghost pressing on the bed.)