Chapter 101
He Shen didn’t quite understand. “Diary?”
Qiao Shao suppressed his thumping heart. “Let’s go back.”
He Shen asked him, “You …”
Qiao Shao shook his head and said, “It’s getting late, Da Qiao will be worried.”
With him like this, it wasn’t a good time for He Shen to ask any more. He could only hold his hand to placate him. “Let’s go.”
When they returned to the banquet hall, Qiao Shao went to find his dad. Qiao Zongmin looked at his son’s red eyes and his heart seized. He immediately apologized to the people around him and avoiding other people, asked, “Did you remember something?”
Qiao Shao’s lips trembled and he whispered, “I want to go home.”
Qiao Zongmin immediately said, “Okay, we’ll go home.”
The banquet was almost over. Qiao Zongmin said that his son was not feeling well, and no one dared to make him stay.
While he was seeing them off, He Shen’s eyes were filled with worry, but in this situation, he couldn’t come forward to ask. He could only send Qiao Shao a WeChat message. Qiao Shao hadn’t brought his mobile phone with him, so he didn’t see it. But even if he had, he still wouldn’t have seen it. He was using all his mental energy to keep his hands from trembling.
It took nearly an hour to get home. The good thing was that Qiao Shao used this time to stabilize his mood.
As soon as they entered the house, Qiao Zongmin asked him, “What’s wrong?”
Qiao Shao looked up at him, his lips trembling, “Our heirloom diary …”
It was like Qiao Zongmin had been electrocuted. Goosebumps covered his entire body. “You …”
Qiao Shao felt that this remark had affected his dad a lot. He sighed softly, “I want to go up and have a look.”
Qiao Zongmin said in a low voice, “I’ll go with you.”
“No,” Qiao Shao said to his dad, “I’ll go by myself.”
Qiao Zongmin clenched his fists tightly and stood at the head of the flight of stairs. “Okay, I’ll wait for you downstairs.”
Qiao Shao didn’t even dare look at his dad. He could imagine his dad’s expression; it must be extremely sad.
In this abyss of lost love, it was actually his father who was suffering the most.
Qiao Shao, dressed in a neat suit, walked up the silver-grey carpeted stairs step by step. When he reached the second floor, he paused. After take a light breath, he gripped the handrail tightly. Normally, Qiao Shao wouldn’t even touch the handrail. After all, he was young and he could just skip up these few steps, but now he was like an elderly man who needed handrail to act like crutches to support himself as he went up to the third floor.
The third floor had been his favorite place to go to as a child. This was because his parents’ bedroom was there, and their study was also there.
Because Xiao Qiao Shao slept by himself on the second floor, he often clamored and complained. Qiao Zongmin would see his wife’s heart going soft and she would force him to carry their son downstairs. Her reason being that a big strong man needed to assume responsibility.
Although Yang Yun felt sorry for her son, she was also afraid of spoiling him. And so she hardened her heart and refused to look at her son’s reddened eyes.
Who could have thought that when he grew up, Qiao Shao would lose the courage to go up the third floor?
When Qiao Shao climbed up the last step, it was like he had climbed up a thousand kilometer high mountain. An indescribable weariness and heaviness pressed down on his chest.
Don’t be afraid, Qiao Shao told himself, don’t be afraid …
His father needed him, his family needed him, and his He Shen also needed him. He needed to be a bit braver. He must face his past, face the memories, face his forgotten pain and lost happiness.
Qiao Shao stood outside his mother’s study. His past lay behind the apricot-colored carved wooden door.
Push it open, go in …
“Shao Shao!”
Qiao Zongmin had been so uneasy that he couldn’t stand it. He went up the third floor and was greeted with the sight of a passed out Qiao Shao.
His son lay on the floor outside his wife’s study. His face was pale and bloodless, and the corners of his tightly pursed lips were flushed red.
Qiao Zongmin was going insane. While gently calling his name, he tried to pry his mouth open, fearing that he had bitten down on his tongue.
Aunt Wu called the family doctor, who gave Qiao Shao a shot that finally stabilized his condition.
Qiao Zongmin looked like he had been doused with water. His hair and clothes were all soaked in cold sweat.
Aunt Wu said, distressed, “Sir, please go and take a shower.”
Qiao Zongmin shook his head. “No need.” He didn’t want to be apart his son, not even a single step. Fear had gripped his heart, he couldn’t bear to have another loved one snatched away by death.
It wasn’t until the next day that Qiao Shao slowly woke up. When he saw the familiar ceiling, and he felt momentarily powerless. He still couldn’t do it, even when he knew that the key was there, he was still afraid.
What a coward.
“Hungry?” Qiao Zongmin’s voice sounded in his ear.
Qiao Shao turned his head and saw his dad still wearing yesterday’s clothes. His hair was a mess and his face was filled with worry and weariness.
Da Qiao had stayed up all night &#k2026;
Qiao Shao once again blamed himself.
Qiao Zongmin didn’t dare mention what had happened last night. He asked him, “Want to eat something?”
Qiao Shao sat up and looked at his dad. “Dad, can you invite Dr. Zhang to come?”
Qiao Zongmin thought of that scene from last night, and was very fearful. “There’s no hurry. Take your time, wait a few days …”
Qiao Shao interrupted him. “I want to see Dr. Zhang.”
Qiao Zongmin: “…”
Qiao Shao stared at his dad and said, “I can do it. Dad, believe me.”
Qiao Zongmin’s eyebrows were furrowed tightly and there was a sense of powerlessness in his voice that no one had ever heard before. “Shao Shao, actually, it doesn’t matter if you can’t remember anything. Dad …”
“No!” Qiao Shao said, “I want to remember, I shouldn’t forget about her!”
Qiao Zongmin’s felt choked up. This man, who had only cried at his wife’s funeral, suddenly had his eyes turn red. “I … I will contact Dr. Zhang.
Qiao Shao relaxed and leaned against the headboard.
When Zhang Guanting came, he was surprised to see Qiao Zongmin’s haggard appearance “President Qiao, you …”
Qiao Zongmin said, “I’m okay, go and see Xiao Shao.”
Zhang Guanting said nothing more and went upstairs to Qiao Shao’s bedroom.
Qiao Shao’s had regained quite a bit of his spirit. He saw Zhang Guanting and said directly, “Dr. Zhang, I know how to restore my memory.”
Zhang Guanting said, “But you don’t have the courage to push open that door?”
Qiao Shao looked down. “I’m completely useless, aren’t I?”
Zhang Guanting said warmly, “You’re very strong. One of the strongest children I have ever seen.”
Qiao Shao clutched tightly at his bedding and said, “But I can’t do it …” Despite knowing that the goal lay before him, that he could run to the end, he had faltered at the last step.
Zhang Guanting looked at him with eyes filled with gentleness and tenderness. In a dreamlike voice, he said to him, “Why do you have to do this by yourself?”
Qiao Shao was dazed.
Zhang Guanting continued, “Why not call him here? Didn’t he give you a lot of courage?”
Qiao Shao raised his head sharply, his pupils shrank.
Zhang Guanting gave him the answer. “Let him accompany you. With him here, you can definitely open that door.”
He Shen? Go with him?
Qiao Shao’s expression was dazed, but a new hope sprang forth from his heart.
“I … I’ll call him over,” After having said so, Qiao Shao suddenly thought of something. “I’ll talk to my dad first!”
Zhang Guanting smiled slightly and said, “Don’t panic, you two can do it.”
Qiao Shao said in a hushed voice, “Thank you, Dr. Zhang.”
Zhang Guanting said, “I’ll be waiting for your good news.”
It was like the dreamer had suddenly awakened. Qiao Shao had never been able to do it by himself before but he can do it with He Shen.
He has regained his appetite because of He Shen. He was able to sleep well now because of He Shen. He could even remember so many things because of He Shen. So this time, so long as He Shen was with him, he would definitely be able to open that “key”.
Qiao Shao waited for Dr. Zhang to leave and said to Qiao Zongmin, “Dad, can He Shen come to our house?”
Qiao Zongmin was surprised. He didn’t see how this could be related to anything?
Qiao Shao gulped and said, “I talked with Dr. Zhang. He suggested that He Shen accompany me to the third floor.”
Qiao Zongmin frowned. “Why is he …”
Under this kind of situation, Qiao Shao did not dare come out about their relationship. He only said, “Probably because he … is very important to me.”
A look flashed in Qiao Zongmin’s eyes and he said, “If it will be beneficial for your condition, I will support it.”
Qiao Shao’s heart felt warm and he said, “I’ll tell him to come.”
Qiao Zongmin said, “Give me the address and I’ll ask someone to pick him up.”
Qiao Shao also wasn’t sure where he was. “No, he can make it to here by himself.” After that, he called He Shen.
He Shen had stayed up all night, filled with thoughts of Qiao Shao. Now that he saw Qiao Shao’s call, he immediately answered. “Xiao Shao?”
Qiao Shao was about to speak, and was a little embarrassed. He cleared his throat and said, “Are you free to come to my house?”
He Shen never expected that Qiao Shao would let him come to his house.
Qiao Shao was a little overcautious. “I have something I need your help with.”
Let alone going to the Qiao Family house, He Shen wouldn’t even think twice about scaling a mountain of swords and swimming through a sea of flames.
He Shen said, “Tell me the address.”
Qiao Shao said, “En!”
Hanging up the phone, Qiao Shao saw his father looking pensive and suddenly remembered something. He said, “That …”
Qiao Zongmin looked at him.
Qiao Shao felt that he had to inform him of this matter in advance, otherwise his dad would receive a harder blow later on. “Actually, He Shen was originally surnamed Xie.”
Da Qiao:”!”
Qiao Shao braced himself. “He was originally called Xie Shen …”
Qiao Zongmin’s voice rose slightly. “That kid from the Xie Family?”
Qiao Shao quickly explained: “He had left home before, and he’s studying at East High by his own decision and through his own efforts. He’s working hard to provide a living for himself. Don’t be so prejudiced against him. He’s different from the other people in the Xie family.”
Qiao Zongmin was so shocked that he couldn’t even speak! He had urged repeatedly, lest his son be hoodwinked by this rotten boy and the result…
Qiao Shao reminded him, “You said, as long as it will be beneficial for my condition, you will support it.”
Qiao Zongmin said, “But Xie Shen…”
Qiao Shao said, “If not for him, I still wouldn’t be able to eat, sleep or remember anything!”
Qiao Zongmin was unable to utter a word.
He Shen came quickly. He must have returned to the rental apartment last night, otherwise he couldn’t have arrived so quickly.
Qiao Zongmin personally opened the door for him, and when he saw this sham-faced boy he had only seen the night before, he almost slammed the door in his face!
He Shen was very polite. “Hello.”
Qiao Shao quickly went over to welcome him. “Come in.” He also threw a meaningful glance at Da Qiao to remind him.
Da Qiao felt very wronged, but he didn’t dare say anything. He could only keep a blank face, like a statue.
Qiao Shao didn’t dare be too intimate with He Shen, fearing that the provocation would be too much, and Da Qiao would blow his top.
He Shen was solely focused on Qiao Shao, and he could see at a glance that he wasn’t very spirited. “You didn’t sleep well last night?”
In fact, Qiao Shao had slept very well, but his spirit had taken a hit and his complexion became a bit unsightly. He said, “It’s okay.”
He Shen wanted to hold his hand, but considering Da Qiao’s fierce look, he held back. “Why did you ask me to come?”
Who could have thought that Qiao Shao would lead him by the hand and say, “I need you to come with me somewhere.”
He Shen resisted the urge to hold his hand back. “En?”
Qiao Shao pulled him along and said, “Come with me.”
Qiao Zongmin stood in the hall on the first floor. His was heart full of conflicting feelings, giving birth to the sadness of having his family’s cabbage being dug out by a pig.
What’s going on? How did that stinky Xie boy get so close to his son!
Qiao Shao pulled He Shen up to the second floor. As they walked up step by step to the third floor, he whispered, “The third floor is for my mom and dad.”
He Shen understood and he quietly gripped his hand.
Qiao Shao seemed to be talking to him, but also to himself. “Since I got home, I’ve never dared go up to the third floor.”
He Shen felt Qiao Shao’s nervousness, he said, “Are your mother’s things up there?”
“A lot of it,” Qiao Shao took a deep breath, “I didn’t dare think of her, so I didn’t dare go up.”
He Shen tried to ease his mood. “Now, you …”
Qiao Shao looked at him and said, “I can come up now, but there’s something that I can’t face alone.”
He Shen held his hand tightly and said, “I’ll accompany you.”
Qiao Shao agreed, “En, I need you to stay with me.”
These words warmed He Shen’s heart, and at the same time made him even more distressed for him.
This time when he came to the door of his mother’s study, Qiao Shao felt a lot better than before.
Although still a little afraid, his hands no longer shook uncontrollably. As long as he could feel the heat of He Shen’s hand against his, he could remain calm.
Qiao Shao closed his eyes and turned the door handle—Mom, long time no see.
He murmured in his heart and walked into this master-less study.
Suddenly, the familiarity of it all hit him in the face. It was like he could see his mother sitting on a cream-colored sofa in front of a wall of bookcases. She was flipping through a book while drinking tea.
She was very beautiful, the most beautiful woman in his heart. Even while wearing loose loungewear, she was like an angel that had fallen to the mortal world. Even the faint smile at the corner of her lips was overflowing with a divine radiance that gave him the deepest comfort.
Qiao Shao looked at her without blinking, even his breathing had frozen.
“Xiao Shao.” He Shen called out to him softly.
Qiao Shao recovered from his trance. He let go of He Shen’s hand and walked to this desk that no longer belonged to anyone. He told him, “Our heirloom diary is in here.”
He Shen followed him.
Qiao Shao opened a wooden box with dozens of thick calendar diaries arranged neatly.
Most had red covers but some had gold or green covers. Each cover had a gold-embossed year.
With shaking hands, Qiao Shao took out the one for Year XX: “This is our treasure. For the three of us.”
He Shen didn’t quite understand what this was, and he didn’t know if he should read it or not.
However, Qiao Shao already opened one of them in front of him. Inside were three very different handwritings.
One was a graceful and beautiful script, another one was a bold and unrestrained cursive script, and the final one was an immature handwriting, obviously a child’s.
Seeing this, Qiao Shao’s tears began to roll down. He said, “From the day I could hold a pen, my mother prepared these diaries. Each of us would write something on it every day.”
He rubbed his finger against the old pages and said softly, “Look, this day my dad wrote: Old man Sun is really useless, he even poured wine for Laozi; my mom wrote: Comrade Da Qiao knocked over the vase, Xiao Qiao tongxue was fishing in troubled waters to try to get out of writing his homework; I also wrote something. Drunk Da Qiao is stinky, mom will come to sleep with me. ”
He Shen was dazed.
It was a very narrow piece of paper, and there wasn’t much room to write in. The things they wrote were also very trivial and simple, but they were full of the warmth and sweetness of a home.
Qiao Shao laughed and cried. It was as if he was travelling through time and space as he flipped through the pages, going back to that distant yet eternal past.
When, as a small child, he couldn’t write, he would draw a lot. Later, when he learned to write, but couldn’t write complicated characters, he used a lot of Pinyin instead. Then afterwards … Qiao Shao turned to the year he disappeared.
2014, a dark gray diary.
Qiao Shao tremblingly opened it and when he saw the first sentence, he lost it.
He Shen hugged him tightly. Qiao Shao was crying, absolutely choked with sobs.
Written in the dark gray diary, the beautiful and elegant script had already turned blurry, long smudged by his mother’s countless tears—Xiao Yi, mom misses you.
A mother’s most profound love for her son, all in this thick diary.
The author has something to say: I finally wrote it down…
This piece was my original intention for writing. Probably because I’m also a mother now, so I have a deeper understanding of maternal love.