Chapter 56 - I’m Not Breaking Up. Let Me Think.
Fear, restraint, hesitation.
He didn’t press the accept button, letting the call continue until the screen turned dark.
At that moment, the taut strings in his mind snapped and Ji Liao’s pupils jolted. He realised what he had done and was about to return the call when the other boy called again.
Ji Liao picked up and heard the other side say with a sigh of relief, “Baby, why didn’t you answer the phone earlier? You scared me to death.”
He tried to hide his own emotions, and as usual, he said softly, “I forgot.”
“Huh?” In the airport, He Cheng Ming’s handsome face knitted with suspicion. After a while, he became only filled with thoughts of going back and didn’t dwell on it further. He threatened with a smile, “How dare you forget to answer a call from your boyfriend. See how I’ll deal with you when I get back!”
Ji Liao was silent as he vaguely heard the sound of a suitcase rolling on the ground. He asked, “Are you coming back?”
If he remembered correctly, the competition lasted for three days. He should only be back tomorrow.
“Yes, I just left the airport. Where are you? I’ll take a taxi there.”
In fact, the competition had ended that afternoon. The organisers had arranged for a day to visit the Forbidden City, hence the three-day duration. He Cheng Ming didn’t think it was necessary, so he bought his own plane ticket back. He didn’t know why but during today’s competition, he felt flustered, especially feeling like something bad was about to happen. Earlier, when Ji Liao didn’t answer the first call, it scared him to death. Fortunately, he got through the second time and confirmed that the boy was safe.
“Well? Say something, baby, where are you?” The long silence made him urge.
At this, Ji Liao responded and reported an address, then squatted where he had stood, waiting for him.
After a nearly forty-minute journey, He Cheng Ming got out of the car and saw his sweetheart squatting pitifully by the roadside. His head was buried in his arms and he looked like he was crying.
Immediately, his heart clenched as he walked over quickly. He squatted down to hug Ji Liao, and he asked softly, “What’s the matter?”
Ji Liao lifted his head at the question, his face pale. But he forced a smile and whispered back, “I’m waiting here for you.”
Relieved to see that he wasn’t crying, He Cheng Ming pulled him up and gently reprimanded him, “Silly, why didn’t you find somewhere to sit? Are your feet numb?”
He bent down and rubbed Ji Liao’s calf.
Ji Liao stopped him, then launched himself into the broad chest in front of him, both hands hugging He Cheng Ming’s waist. His feet felt like there were millions of ants crawling on them and he couldn’t move.
“And you still say you don’t miss me? As soon as I’m back, you throw yourself into my arms. See what you’ll do without me next time.” He Cheng Ming was elated as his mouth began to run, and took no notice of what he was saying.
But Ji Liao was sensitive and his whole body trembled, his fingers clutching the other boy’s clothes tightly.
“What’s wrong?” Noticing Ji Liao’s small movements, He Cheng Ming leaned his head back to separate themselves from each other so he could look at him. He realised something was wrong. Ji Liao’s eyes were red and filled with tears — he was like a rabbit calling for help, but it was in vain.
The pain in his heart exploded, and he hurriedly pushed the boy away, wanting to ask for the cause of his anguish. But Ji Liao bit his lips and refused to let go of him. He Cheng Ming was stunned, then stopped moving and let the boy hold him.
“Did something happen? Or did someone bully you? Ji Liao, tell me. I’ll take care of it, okay?”
Don’t look like this again. His heart was about to shatter just seeing him like this!
Ji Liao was afraid but at the same time greedy for He Cheng Ming’s warm embrace. After a long time, he opened his mouth and found that his voice was shaking as he said, “Your mother said that you had something to do with my father’s death.”
Silence.
There was a long silence.
When He Cheng Ming moved, it scared Ji Liao into hugging him again.
He leaned against his chest, listening to his strong heartbeat. Thump. Thump.
He didn’t dare to blink as a blurry layer of tears obscured his eyes. He tried his best to hold back the tears, but they fell drop by drop, wetting He Cheng Ming’s clothes.
Why had it been Ji Qing Wen, his beloved father?
“Do you know that I like you a lot already?”
So much that even after knowing that you had something to do with Dad’s death, I still couldn’t bear to hang up on you, couldn’t bear to refuse meeting you.
Even to the extent of wanting to betray Dad by forgiving you.
“Ji Liao, I told you before that I have already liked you three years ago.” His voice sounded old and hoarse.
He Cheng Ming leaned down and kissed his tears. It wasn’t clear whose fault it was, but it had begun with him.
“The first time I saw you, I reacted to you. At that time, I was fourteen — I didn’t understand if these feelings were right or wrong, so I didn’t tell anyone and wrote it in my diary. My mother found the diary, discovered my secret and resented your father. She told him during a rainy night to rush the work, then the accident happened.”
His ignorant love was the first mistake; the butterfly effect resulted in Ji Qing Wen dying tragically.
When he learned about Ji Qing Wen’s accident, he tore up his diary. He hated that diary and hated himself for writing it down. He could almost foresee what kind of pain the boy would suffer from. Because of his love, that person had lost his father.
For a long time, he had problems with sleeping. When he closed his eyes, Ji Liao’s cries haunted his head. Zhao Mei Lan had found a psychiatrist to help him, prescribing medication for him to take. Although he could not refuse, he had wishfully thought the medication might take the pain away.
Whenever he awoke from his midnight dreams, he huddled up in remorse for his mistake, even until now. He had merely liked someone.
“I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”
It was a three-year late apology that had been a thorn in his heart, but he finally said it.
Ji Liao’s mind was a mess, and he was unable to respond. So this was what happened, but whose fault was it?
Feeling that his eyelashes were glued with tears, he wiped it with his hand and sniffed. He looked confused and innocent, like the first time He Cheng Ming saw him.
He didn’t speak for a long time, and his silence froze He Cheng Ming’s heart. He held the boy’s face in his hands, lowered his head and kissed him, then said in a hoarse voice, “I understand.”
Frightened, Ji Liao hugged his waist. He endured a stab of pain in his heart as he said anxiously, “I’m not breaking up. Let me think. Don’t go.”
Ji Qing Wen was no longer around. If He Cheng Ming also left, he would become a different person again.
He didn’t want it to be this way.
This result exceeded He Cheng Ming’s expectations. He turned back in surprise and joy, then held Ji Liao protectively as he said, overwhelmed with happiness, “Okay, I’m not leaving or breaking up.”
Ji Liao was relieved as he sat on the suitcase to recover from the onslaught of his emotions. He Cheng Ming squatted in front of him and used his sleeves to wipe his face.
When He Cheng Ming’s mood had stabilised, he then remembered the item he had brought back from Beijing.
“I brought you a present. Do you still want it?” His tone was careful and gentle.
Whatever it was, everything now had to be based on Ji Liao’s opinions. If he wasn’t careful, he might be “investigated and sacked.”
Ji Liao looked at him and said with a nasal tone, “Yes.”
He Cheng Ming smiled and pointed at the suitcase under Ji Liao. “It’s inside.”
Ji Liao got up and watched him take out a bright yellow box from the suitcase. It was a custom-made gift box for couples released by the Palace Museum.
Inside was a wedding edict, two eternal fans and a pair of jade ornaments meant for exchanging vows. Ji Liao didn’t take a close look as he put them away.
He Cheng Ming asked him, “Are you hungry? Do you want to go eat?”
Ji Liao nodded an agreement. So, while pulling his suitcase, He Cheng Ming led him to find a warm restaurant to sit down in.
Immediately, a server came over to bring the menu. After sizing up the handsome pair and concluding that they seemed to be a couple, the server walked away with a lowered head.
As they waited for their food, he noticed Ji Liao was still unhappy. He sat closer, held his shoulders and kissed his face as he coaxed, “I’m sorry that I hurt you. It won’t happen again, okay?”
Ji Liao flattened his lips and ignored him.
“Don’t stay quiet, baby, please? Open your mouth, ahh.” With that, he opened his mouth wide and looked at him.
When Ji Liao witnessed his silly display, he laughed angrily in response.
He Cheng Ming released a breath when he saw this, and then began to laugh as well. He might have looked silly but what he said afterwards was genuine, “I’ll always be good to you, Ji Liao. Trust me.”
As long as Ji Liao could forgive him, he would spend his whole life loving him and not let him suffer any more harm.
Ji Liao lowered his head in a complicated mood and hummed.
Once the food was served, the other boy graciously helped to pile his rice bowl high with food, all of which were his favourites. When Ji Liao glanced at him sideways, he immediately stopped and grinned, revealing a row of bright white teeth.
“You should eat as well,” Ji Liao said.
He Cheng Ming, who was on the verge of being attacked, looked at him pitifully as he probed, “No, I want you to help me with it.”
Ji Liao lifted his hand and picked up a piece of garlic for him.
He Cheng Ming’s face changed, and he said hesitantly, “Isn’t that a little strong?” It wasn’t good for their goodbye kiss later.
Ji Liao sighed. “If you don’t want to eat it, then get your own food.”He Cheng Ming was aggrieved. In order to make his wife happy, he had to endure. As soon as he put that thing inside his mouth, Ji Liao looked disgusted and asked him to spit it out.
“How could you have eaten it?!” He couldn’t help but scold him.
He Cheng Ming spat it out and took some water to rinse his mouth. He replied, “I’m very obedient.” Then continued to flatter as he tried to win some favour, “Next time, whatever you say, I’ll do it. Okay?”
Ji Liao didn’t know what to do with him, only thinking that his mouth was really good at cajoling!
“Eat properly,” he said.
“Order received!” He Cheng Ming smiled.
After their meal, he sent Ji Liao home. When they reached his community, he was unwilling to leave as he was eager to make a big splash. After all, he had gone to Beijing for two days, only to return to face an unexpected situation. There had been no chances to be intimate with the boy.
Now, He Cheng Ming stared at the person in front of him, pleading in a low voice, “Baby, can we kiss first before leaving?”
Ji Liao refused coldly, “No way.”
Who told him to eat garlic?!
He Cheng Ming was silent as he thought that Ji Liao hadn’t really forgiven him, so he reluctantly let him go.
But Ji Liao didn’t leave. Embarrassed, he lifted his shirt and, with a straight face, said, “Maybe you can make do by touching my waist.”