Chapter 151Book Two – Ch.# 42
“You know me?” I asked, surprised.
She’d somehow known my name and implied we’d met already once before. Had we been childhood
friends maybe? But that would have been back when I was five years old, her maybe even younger
than me. That would be such a long time ago to recall.
Despite this though… I had a nagging in my head as if I’d heard her name recently. Somewhere I
couldn’t quite place… At Ashwood perhaps? No… that didn’t seem right.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to think on it for long though.
At my question, Clarissa instantly looked even less enthused, her eyes narrowing slightly.
“…What kind of dumb question is that?” she replied curtly.
“Clarissa!” Myra snapped. “Where are your manners? Apologise. Right now.”
“But, Myra…,” she whined. “It’s not-.”
However, Clarissa wasn’t able to finish her sentence, another coughing fit wracking through her chest.
“…Stupid girl,” Myra sighed, walking over to her bedside.
She wrapped the tiny girl back in her blanket and forced her to lie down once more.
“Rest… you can talk later when you’re feeling stronger,” Myra said. “You won’t do yourself any favours
by pushing yourself.”
“But I’m not feeling that b-.”Assumedly, the new fit of coughing contradicted whatever she was about to say.
“Rest,” Myra ordered.
And all I could hear was mumbling complaints from the bedsheets as I was ushered back outside the
room.
“Sorry about her. She can be a bit… blunt sometimes. Thinks she always knows better than everyone
else.”
“It’s fine. No offence taken,” I said, waving off the apology. “I am curious though… would it be okay to
tell me what’s wrong with her?”
Myra’s face then grew serious, her eyes casting down.
“I wish I knew…,” she said slowly. “She’s been prone to sickness ever since I found her. Over the years
it got progressively worse, though it was still manageable. But then, one day, it was as if she suddenly
couldn’t get out of bed at all anymore. Like a switch overnight. She was still mostly okay one day… and
then the next she became what you see now. The poor thing….”
Since Myra found her…? So, that meant…..
“You couldn’t keep looking for me all those years ago… because you had to take care of Clarissa,” I
stated, putting the pieces together.
Myra became quiet and, after a moment had passed, reluctantly nodded her head.
“…You had to choose between us.”
“I couldn’t drag a four year old around, especially whilst we were being hunted,” she explained. “And
Clarissa isn’t like you… her appearance wouldn’t pass as normal as I knew yours would be able to.Then adding into the mix that she was sick as well….? It meant I would be endangering her life for the
small chance that I would be able to find you. A chance that felt slimmer than finding a needle in a
haystack.”
“…Clarissa needed you more.”
I didn’t say it with a tone of understanding, more so like it was an irrefutable fact.
“I’m all she has. Everyone else from her family has died,” she said quietly. “I might not be related to her
by blood but… every time I look at her… it’s like I can see my best friend still alive. I couldn’t just
abandon her.”
Myra was all I’d had as well, my only blood family remaining. Didn’t that count for something?
I felt as tears began to sting at my eyes over hearing this, listening to how I’d had to suffer growing up
because Clarissa was made a priority. Did I resent her for that? I wasn’t sure. If I did, then I knew it was
incredibly selfish of me to think so. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, least of all Clarissa’s.
“…But I know now that I made the right choice,” she continued, looking back towards me. “It’s a relief to
finally see that.”
I frowned. She was happy that she chose her over me?
“What…?”
Myra moved closer and touched under my chin, lifting my face up.
“You clearly grew up to be so smart… so beautiful,” she said. “I can feel an aura of strength
surrounding you, something that tells me you were more than capable of looking after yourself. It’s
obvious that you didn’t need me, Rheyna.”I bit back at the tears threatening to fall, holding my face firm.
Because I’d never intended to become strong. I’d had to in order to survive. Every single day was
another trial, another test… another assignment. Failure was considered worse than death.
And not just that, but being poisoned… to have no control over my wolf. To not understand my ability,
nor myself. To be unworthy of my mate. My life was a mess…
I* was a mess. A danger to anyone who got too close.
“…I’m far from perfect, Myra,” I said honestly, trying to keep my voice steady. “I wouldn’t praise me for
anything. My upbringing was incredibly challenging, one where I had to do terrible things… a basis for
many of the issues I’m still battling to this day. I have almost no control over any of it.”
“Well… I might not be able to fix what is already done…,” she said, looking as if she was about to cry
herself. “But I can perhaps help you with what I can. Like for example, your ability… It’s important that
you learn how to keep that in check. Firing it off without realising can be dangerous, especially when
you’re quite gifted with it as you seem to be.”
…Yes, that was just one problem of many plaguing me.
However, part of me wanted to argue back, to point out that things couldn’t be fixed that easily by just
helping one thing. But I knew this would be a very petty reaction, one stemming purely out of my
exhaustion and from the emotionally charged atmosphere of the situation.
No, just as she had said, she couldn’t fix the things already done. There was no point blaming her for
everything that had gone
Book Two-Ch. # 42 wrong in my life.
…And so, I just sighed, forcing myself to relax.“…I’d appreciate that,” I said quietly.
Just one problem that was able to be helped … yet what felt like a million others still waiting for me.
“You should rest,” Myra said, clearly picking up on just how tired I was. “I imagine your trip here was
probably not easy.”
“That would be an understatement,” I replied.
She nodded in understanding. “I’ll prepare you a room. Tomorrow, I can help you with your ability and
answer any more questions. you might have.”
And that was the last thing we discussed that day.
Before long, I found myself in a strange room, staring up at the ceiling as I waited for sleep to take me.
There had been so much information thrown at me, most of which was hard to digest. A lot of
revelations and discoveries. that I couldn’t make up even if I tried. A part of me still wasn’t sure if this
was even real.
What did this mean for me now…? Did I stay here with Myra and Clarissa, hiding myself away in the
ruins of my birthplace?
What about my father? I left him a note saying I would be home soon. There was no doubt in my mind
that he had people out there trying to find me currently, unhappy with my abrupt departure.
Well… it was clear I couldn’t change the past … and I couldn’t predict the future. For now, I was here.
That was all that mattered.
And as I drifted to sleep, I dreamt of the same thing I always did these days. The very thing that always
made me long for something I couldn’t have.…I dreamt of Kieran.
It was very late into the night when I awoke.
The house felt quiet, the window showing me just how dark it was outside. And, all the while I laid in
bed, desperately trying to fall back to sleep, the feeling of my wolf whimpering inside was becoming
unbearable.
“I know,” I groaned in frustration. “Please… stop.”
Their cries for Kieran weren’t as easy to deal with now I wasn’t at home. Normally, I could have had a
glass of something to soothe me, but here…? Well, I doubted they had much luxury when it came to
supplies. Myra was probably having to hunt for their food.
Annoyed, I tossed onto my side, trying to drown it out. But, in the end, it proved too much. Between the
dull pain from a headache and the wolf crying, it really did feel like it was impossible to sleep.
Maybe some fresh air would be better?
I heaved myself out of bed and slowly made my way out of the room, heading back to where I
remembered the front door. As I walked, I noticed how there was something about being here that
seemed so eerie. Like an unnatural silence about it. Though I suppose that was due to being so far
away from civilisation. Unlike Ashwood and the city I’d grown up in, this place was almost entirely
uninhabited.
But as I made it back to the living room, my ears did pick up on one thing.
…The sound of quiet snores coming from the sofa.
As quietly as I could, I inspected the source of the noise and found Myra had fallen asleep there. With a
book in hand, her body was curled up comfortably, looking as if she’d passed out even before turningoff the lamp next to her.
She looked… so young.
Perhaps even younger than me as she slept, a peacefulness about her that erased the signs of pain
she carried whilst awake. Just what did someone over a hundred years old even dream about anyway?
So many things. must have happened, so many different people met.
But as she shifted her body slightly on the sofa, I seemed to get my answer.
“…Cai,” she whispered. 2
They must have been incredibly important to her, able to still consume her thoughts even after all this
time. I could only hope to be that important to someone one day.
And as my mind flicked back to Kieran, I was reminded of why I’d come downstairs.
I swallowed back the painful thoughts threatening to remind me and decided to continue on my way
outside. However, before doing so, I stopped to pull a blanket over Myra, grabbing the book out of her
hand.
…Something that accidentally caused her to stir.
“Mmmm… what?” she mumbled sleepily, waking up. “Cai? …Oh. Rheyna?”
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you. Was just going outside for some air.”
She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. “No… you’re fine. I must have fallen asleep whilst reading. I find
books help get my mind off of things.’
An escape. I could definitely relate to that right now. Only, her idea sounded far healthier.“Anything good?” I asked, sitting down next to her.
But she gave me a small smile and shook her head. “Just a dumb fantasy novel. It’s my favourite
though. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it.”
I could see that. The book looked like it was barely holding together, possessing several makeshift
repairs with duct tape. I guess she really didn’t want it to fall apart.
“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, bringing my attention back.
“I slept a little,” I admitted. “Just… there is a lot on my mind.”
And she nodded. “It can be an adjustment at first. When you’re not used to it, the information can make
you feel like you’re drowning.”
Yes… That was accurate.
“I was unranked before… all of this,” she continued, filling the silence. “No one even looked my way
most of the time. I went from what felt like the very bottom of the pack, barely knowing anything… to
being one of the core people involved in its management, a keeper of our kind’s oldest forgotten
secrets. It was a hard learning curve, particularly when I thought the biggest highlight of my life would
just be settling down with a mate one day.” 1
“…Did you ever get that wish?” I asked curiously.
“Yes… and much more,” she said. “My Cai gave me a life beyond anything I could have hoped for. He
was one of the first people to make me feel like I mattered, that I could be more than… just the girl who
worked at their parent’s orphanage. My happiest days were back when we were all together at high
school. Just Cai, Aria and myself. Back when things were a lot more… simpler. For me, at least.”
“…Does it still hurt? Being away from him, even after all this time?”“Always,” she answered. “A mate will give you the highest of highs… but their absence will bring you to
your worst. When they die, it really is as if a piece of yourself goes with them. Like an aching in your
soul… a void you cannot fill.”
…Did that mean I had to feel this way forever? Right now, it was just a constant longing to return to
them, but the way Myra explained it, it sounded as if it would only get worse as time went on.
“Don’t ever let them go,” she said, a hollowness in her voice. “Hold onto that feeling they bring you,
cherish it for as long as you can. One day it will be gone whether you want it or not.”
“And… what if they belong to another pack?” I asked hesitantly. “What if… what if their family is the
enemy?”
Her face turned towards me slowly, holding an expression that reflected the pain in her tone. “A
destined mate is selected at the time of one’s conception, it cannot ever be changed. They are your
other half, the person chosen to balance and improve you. If you’re not open to that possibility, that is
entirely your decision. Your decision, and no one else’s. This is regardless of prior history.”
I turned my eyes towards the ground, staring at a rug intensely.
It sounded as if she were telling me to find him. That being with him wasn’t entirely impossible. But
could I really…?
“Be warned though, Rheyna,” she then added. “Just because a deity chose them for you, it doesn’t
always make it correct. In my experience and from what I’ve been told, Goddesses are no more perfect
than mortals. Merely people with a higher power who are still very much fallible in their actions. A
destined mate is still a choice… but just a choice by Selene.”
“I’m not sure I’m following,” I said.But as she then turned to look out the window, a slight frown forming between her brows, she simply
continued to speak as if in a daze.
“Regardless of how far away it is, the moon still controls the tide…,” she mumbled, almost as if
speaking to herself now. “You might like to think it cannot touch you… but it could nevertheless cause
you to drown.”
I wasn’t sure I knew exactly what she meant by that, but I didn’t press the topic anymore for that
evening. It seemed that perhaps some things were best left unsaid for now, there always being
tomorrow.
…And I had a strange feeling that the day was going to mark a new beginning in my life.