~Tamia~
What a joke. Typically people are elated over something like this, but my heart was conflicted.
Every fibre of my being wanted him.
I wanted to throw away my love and promises and accept fate.
It was overwhelming and euphoric.
All that existed at that moment was him. Kaira wanted to jump and let him take us. I wanted to let her.
Devin looked up at me and came close to me.
His teary eyes searched mine, and I could see he was desperate. Desperate to have me and make me
his. His eyes flashed golden, and I knew his wolf was in control.
Kaira wanted him. He touched my cheek with his palm, and I closed my eyes to feel his touch
caressing my skin, enveloping me in his intoxicating scent.
“Mate,” His wolf said, and Kaira wanted to respond, but I held my lips. I searched his eyes, and they
were expectant.
“Why didn’t you say anything that night?” I asked angrily that he had let the moment slip. If he had, I
would be in the south and would have never gone to the north.
I was angry not because I went to the north, but because he knew I was suffering with Leo and didn’t
make a move to take me from him.
“You sent me back to his house. You let me go back!” I yelled at him, tears streaming down my face,
and he bowed.
“You knew I was suffering. You knew I was in pain. You had the power to take it away. You are Alpha,
and you let me go,” I said and stepped back.
“Now you hold a rose and say, Mate?” I said, and Kaira pleaded with me to take it easy, but I was mad.
“Why Devin? Why didn’t you save me? Why didn’t you claim me? When I wanted my fated to come and
rescue me, to take my pain away. I prayed so hard the goddess answered, but you weren’t willing.
“Why now? Do you hate Sylvester so much that you want to hurt him the worst way ever!” I said, and
he shook his head, tears streaming down his face, looking misunderstood.
“No, Tamia,” he said, looking at me, and I stepped back.
“Then tell me why now? Why!” I yelled at him; my heart was beating so fast. I was fighting myself.
“I thought we had time. I wanted Leo to let you go before I stepped in,” he said, and I began to laugh.
“Leo would have never let me go! I had to give myself up as a tribute to get away from him,” I said, and
he nodded.
“You didn’t want me then; why now?” I asked him, and he shook his head.
“I always wanted you. From the moment your apple and cinnamon scent filled my senses, I had wanted
you. But I wanted to wait for the right moment, the perfect moment to make you mine. I wanted to do it
properly. We had allied, and I did not want to have issues with Leo. I wanted to reason with him first,”
he said.
“If you cared, you wouldn’t have waited for perfect conditions. You would have taken me from him that
night. You would have made me yours,” I told him angrily.
“I wrote letters to alphas, pleading with them to let me join their pack, so I won’t go rogue when I leave
Leo. Meanwhile, you were there all along, waiting for the perfect moment that would never come
because the world doesn’t work that way, Devin. There is no such thing as perfect. It is an illusion, a lie
we tell ourselves, and you gambled me away with that decision. You left me to rot with Leo and
Amanda.”
He reached for me and crashed his lips on mine. Kissing me.
I wanted to push him away, but my body responded. He was tugging on the bond, and Kaira let him.
He moved to my sweet spot and sucked it grazing his teeth over it desperately,
“Green-eyes”, I heard Sylvester in my head, giving me the strength to push Devin away.
“That is dubious,” I said, shaking my head.
“Please, Tamia, you do not have to return to him. Come with me. I will protect you. I will fight him,” He
said, and I laughed.
“You didn’t want to fight Leo for my sake, but you are willing to fight Sylvester?” I said, and he nodded.
“I won’t let you use me as bait for your Wolf Lord agenda. I refuse to be used,” I told him, and he pulled
me close and shook his head.
“I do not want to be wolf lord anymore; I just want my mate.” He pleaded with me.
“All my life, I waited for you. Never made promises to anyone, and hoping to find you. Do you know
how heartbroken I was when I saw Leo’s mark on your neck? I was broken,” he said, and I shook my
head.
“Not enough to challenge him for me. Not enough to break the rules for my sake. Not enough..” I said,
and he bowed his head.
“I did not want a war. I did not want our love to be built on war. I wanted to do it amicably. The east is
your home, and you have people there. I did not want to ruin the place. I swear, Tamia. I just wanted to
do it amicably. I did not know Sylvester would take you away and that you would end up with him,” he
said, and I smiled with hurt in my heart.
“We do not know what the future holds, Devin; that is why we seize the moment and do all we can.
Love the people we love, appreciate them, tell them, and show them how we feel. Do all that we want
for them because the future isn’t guaranteed. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. So we become a bit
impulsive, so we don’t look back on it with regrets. Things change, feelings, time, and conditions; they
all change, so we always seize the moment and live in it because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I know
this and live by it daily, which you should have. If you had, we would be together. I wouldn’t have met
Sylvester, known him, and fallen in love with him. I wouldn’t be torn and fighting our bond right now; my
heart and yours wouldn’t be breaking. Everything would be as it should be,” I said and looked at the
sky.
“When Leo found Amanda, I ran away from the party and shifted. The pain was incredible, and I prayed
that my mate would come and take it away. The goddess answered, she answered, but when you
came, you weren’t willing. You weren’t ready, so I had to face it alone, and someone else had to help
me through the healing process. What you feel for me is a bond ordained by the goddess and fate;
what I have with Sylvester is destiny made from choice,” I said, and his eyes widened.
“I love him, Devin. My heart beats for him. He was there. He held my hand to make me smile, gave me
a reason to try again, fixed me, and made me hope and love again. He was there. Now you hold a rose
in your hand and want me to just forget about the one person who loved me through my pain and
suffering. The one person that went against tradition, his values, his family, his people, for my sake.
The one person willing to seize the moment and live in it.” I said and looked at him.
“I can’t. I promised him I would be home tomorrow. I promised him I would never leave him. I promised
I wouldn’t break his heart. I am not letting you go because of my promises; I am letting you go because
I have already given my heart to him,” I said, and he nodded, tears streaming down his face.
“When Leo told me you were in love with Sylvester Volkov, I thought it was a lie. When I heard of your
marriage, I thought you only did it to survive. But seeing you here made me realise I was wrong. He let
you come this far unaccompanied, and you’re not willing to come with me. I see you love him,” He said
and bowed his head.
“And I know the bond can not take that away. The human and the wolf would always be conflicted. Leo
loved you, still loves you, and because of that, he hasn’t been able to be happy with Amanda. I see him
die more every time, and I do not wish that on you, Tamia. I do not want to be the source of your pain.
You were right when you said I had lost my opportunity. Even if I take you and claim you, just like Leo,
your heart will always beat for Sylvester. I can see it in your eyes. I care about you enough to want you
to be truly happy. I do not want my love or our bond to be a source of pain and regret for you. Whatever
you do, I will accept and wish you the best,” He said, letting the rose drop into his hand.
I looked at him and did not know what to do.
A part of me wanted to reject him and walk away.
Another told me to consider it. I wasn’t fated to Sylvester; what if he finds his fate and betrays me?
Then I will be left with nothing.
If I let Devin go, I might never have a fated again. Second-chance mates are rare. I looked at him, and
my heart thumped in my chest.
He pulled me close to him and began to kiss me again, Pleading his case.
He was trying to influence my decision with my body, and my body let him.
I could understand what Leo went through that night.
My mind was trying to seize control, but my wolf and body wanted him. Musk and wood scent engulfed
me, and a light moan escaped my lips. He pulled me to his body, and I wrapped my arms around him.
“Mate,” I heard myself say, and he growled. My body was shaking in his arms.
He travelled with his kiss to my neck. Licking and sucking the skin. My vision was a blur; he was
erupting desire in me, none like I had felt before. Intoxicating.
I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but I could no longer remember why.
Our kiss became more hungry and vicious, and he took full possession of my body and laid me on the
grass.
“Mine,” He said, and just like that, I snapped out of my trans and moved away from under him. He
stared at me in disbelief, and I moved backwards, staring at him in disbelief.
Knight’s voice echoed in my head.
“Mine,” He said, and I felt my claws and teeth retract. Realising what had happened, he did the same.
Not wanting him to claim me, I decided to do the only thing I could.
“I Tamia Riverstorm..” I started, and he bowed in shame, kneeling in the grass.
“Reject you, Devin Corrigan, as my fated mate. I pray the goddess blesses you with one worthy to be
yours and you have the wisdom to seize the moment,” I said, and he accepted in tears and heartache.
We waited for the wrenching pain that accompanies a rejection, but it never came.
I looked at myself and then at him for the pain and weakness, but it did not come.
He looked at me, surprised.
His scent was no longer intoxicating, which meant the bond was no more, but there was no pain or
weakness.
We sat on the grass looking at each other, waiting for the pain to come, but it never did.
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