Novel Name : Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book

Rejected Mate and Following Fate - Awakening Book Chapter 6: Rejection

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I pace my room for the hundredth time, sighing, frustrated and mentally working through the war going

off inside of me and end up ‘arghhhing’ out loud in frustration. So over this crap already, and tired of

feeling this strung out. I feel like the events of the last few days have changed me in subtle ways and

wish I could go back to the before.

Things have not been going well since that day in the pack house, that changed literally everything in

my life, and I’m a prisoner in the orphanage until further notice. Under lock and key metaphorically,

through pain of death should I disobey.

Colton's father erupted when he realized that being left alone for mere minutes was enough to send his

son spiraling into hormonal lust for his new mate, throwing all sense aside and almost marking me. So

now we’re forbidden from being near one another indefinitely. His father thinks he can control fate by

just refusing to let things run their course. Despite everything the Shaman warned and tried to preach.

Juan is adamant I’ll be the downfall of the Packdom should Colton honor our bond and I god damn hate

him for interfering and thinking he can control me in this way. I’m not one of his pack, he has no claim

to me or my bloodline, and since I turned, I’m free to leave this stupid mountain, but he won’t let me!

Nothing like this has ever happened before in the history of imprinting, and the Shaman warned of

terrible foreboding should we anger the fates and deny something as strong as an imprintation. Juan

didn’t care. He only cares about what Juan wants, what the Santo’s need and I’m an annoying little fly

in his soup. Not worthy of his son’s attentions or his seed.

My running away plan is pointless, because my soul is now linked to Colton in every way, meaning I’m

not allowed to leave Radstone at all. To go off on my own, for fear I endanger the life of their future

alpha in my unworthy incapable way in case some terrible mishap befalls me. If I die out there in the

big bad world, then so does he.

I mean the Fates did make your mate become inseparable from you for a reason, beyond lust and

procreation… the desire to never be parted is as much about survival. The Alpha is meant to protect

his femme at all costs, and she is meant to shadow her dominant for life. Always by his side, to watch

his back and become an invincible unit. They become one. If one falls, they both fall.

So basically after being screamed at by Carmen until my ears bled, literally, and they still hurt, bullied

into a corner by Juan, who threatened to tear me apart and Colton almost took his head off, and then

dragged home to house arrest by some of the overly handsy aggressive Santo pack, I’m literally

confined to a life inside these walls, with no contact from the person fate decided would be the other

half to my soul for an eternity. Everything sucks. Just god damn, all the way to hell and back, sucks!

Happy sucky eighteenth birthday, Alora.

It’s going swell so far.

We’re forbidden from linking, or talking, or seeing one another, and I doubt that will ever change.

Bonding is for life and distance won't do very much about it. You cannot sever a bond. You can choose

to deny it, ignore it if you can, but Colton has to be the one to reject me, or I will be and currently still

am, his mate. He said the words, he verbalized the choice and started to mark me. Juan cannot make

that choice for him. He has to say the words to me. I have to hear it from him before it breaks the union

we started. Not that it does much in terms of our link, but for his pack, for the code, he can’t have me

as his mate and then go back to Carmen without doing this first. One mate… there’s no leeway in that.

It's been agony though, and the Shaman was correct in that denying the bond only makes it worse. I

swear, I’ve been dreaming, obsessing, about him since we were pulled apart and I can't sleep or eat for

pining for the mate I will never have as long as his father has any say. Even if he made it clear he

wants me too. It’s so crazy, given that I didn’t know him at all, and now I know everything about him,

can feel him, see him in my mind’s eye and even hear that sexy subtly accented Latino voice of his

whenever I want. He’s ingrained on me now.

He's in my head, creating dark unhealable holes in my heart and my entire being feels empty and lost

without the other half of me to complete it. His kiss has ruined me in so many ways and I replay those

moments until I scream in agony and try to push the taste and feel of him out. I never knew this kind of

pain could exist and now I curse the fates for doing this to me. Why they would inflict this kind of

uncurable disease, is beyond me. It’s a form of insanity and I am powerless to cure myself, no matter

how strong I think I am.

I’m desperate to reach out and link to him, for just one second, to appease my eternal cravings, but as I

have heard nothing from him, I’m assuming he too agrees with his father, that for the future of the pack

we should have no contact, considering he closed down the head link and I can’t get to him at all.

Dreaming about him, smelling his scent on the wind when it blows from the south is driving me crazy

and I have no idea how to fix myself while I don’t even know what we are. Held captive, still his mate,

yet denied all that goes with it.

The only upside to my turning and finally becoming my true self in all of this, is the physical difference,

which shocked me when I finally got home to wash myself free of the grime and blood caking every

inch of me. Catching sight in the mirror of the bathroom, it held me still with disbelief as I took myself in

slowly and digested the image staring back at me.

The woman before me in the mirror, where a girl once stood, is almost like a stranger to me, yet not.

Still Alora in a way, I still recognize myself as me, yet I’m angular, fuller lipped, clearer skinned. My

features somehow better without changing too much so I can’t put my finger on the why. My hair’s

thicker, fuller, lighter, so that instead of mousy brown, it’s a highlighted caramel with hints of honey, and

gorgeous waves. My eyes greener, dazzling almost and my body is toned in places I don't think I could

ever improve on. It enhanced, tweaked, and brought me up to par with the already turned walking

around this kingdom. No longer plain; I’m desirable, which brings its own problems.

Males in heat circle me whenever I venture down to the kitchen, or out into the courtyard for air. The

orphanage still has many who live under this roof, even after turning, who have no desire to leave. I

may have imprinted on a mate, but I bear no mark to solidify a union, therefore I’m mateless in their

eyes and available, and I need to watch my back. Not all are bound by pack rules in this new era.

Generally, males treat femmes with respect after turning, but not all. Hormones, lack of a mate, and

sometimes undirected testosterone levels, all contribute to rogue males with little consideration of

punishment when fueled by a need to have sex. We are primal animals, and sex is in our basic

everyday makeup once we turn for the first time. I know I’m already suffering for the cravings to be

fulfilled. My body yearning for my mate to join with me, until I feel like I may turn inside out with the

internal painful pangs for his body. The annoying part is, that no one else will do and I have zero

interest in any kind of instant relief with any other male, or any form of self-pleasure, not that I would

know how. It’s not been high on my list of priorities in my life.

I’ve become aware, more than ever now, that I am no longer safe in this home when surrounded by

unmated males. A lack of a real pack means a lack of protection, and any kind of consequences for a

male who brutally takes what he wants. We live in a cruel world, and as an unwanted no one cares

about the rejects. Especially not if one reject attacks and violates another. We have no back up.

It doesn’t matter if every single one of them saw me imprint on Colton; it’s public knowledge Juan is

denying the bond and I’ve been sent to dwell here to stay away from his son. They know not to kill or

maim me, but messing me up a little, doing unspeakable things… his son would recover the pain

quickly and not carry the emotional scarring that I would. I’m not safe.

I stop my daily ritual pacing and slump down on my bed, aware Vanka has come in, grabbed some

belongings and left again. She too is keeping her distance since the turning. It seems my public

shaming with Colton put me in some kind of social outcast list, among even my own fellow unwanteds.

Not one of them has looked my way or talked to me in days. No one wants to know me or be seen

associating with the girl who had the audacity to bond to someone way above her station. Especially

not Prince Santo himself. Like I somehow orchestrated all this, and it wasn’t fate at all. Committed

some kind of heinous sin that marks me as the lowest of the low, even in turns of being in this crappy

home.

The only thing keeping me from being killed is the fact Colton will die if anyone touches me. I mean, I’m

sure if I was cornered and attacked by someone it would affect him too, but it doesn’t seem to matter to

the circling predators in this house. Most hate the Santo's and any of the alphas for that matter

because they know they will never be them, or match up to them, and jealousy and ego are a lethal

combination. They won’t be hunted for inflicting pain on him, only if he dies.

I lie down on my bed, my stomach growling with hunger pangs while tying my insides in knots, but I just

can't seem to face eating. I try; I go down for allocated mealtimes, but I pick at my food and it all tastes

like cardboard when I put it in my mouth. Nothing shifts this feeling, this deep emptiness creating a

cavern inside of me and it’s bottomless and cold. The longer this goes on the worse it gets. The only

thing my body craves and wants, it can’t have. I hate that he can mess me up like this, when we were

strangers only days ago. It’s not fair!

I close my eyes and will myself to picture anything but him. Push the thoughts of him aside and try to

bring forward an image of my parents instead, something I do when I need to self-calm or bring a

happy memory into the depression of my daily life. I try to formulate my mother’s face, to bring me

some comfort, but they are all becoming blurry faded pictures in the dark recesses. so that seeing them

properly is no longer easy at all. Time is taking them from me, and I have nothing left of them in any

form after the elders destroyed all links to our past dead.

I need to see you.

The familiar voice comes out of nowhere, inside my head and I jump at the intrusion, having a minor

heart attack as my beat elevates crazily. Sitting up fast and spinning my head around to scan my room

as if he is going to be standing right here. I know his voice well enough; I hear it in my dreams any time

I sleep, and my body tingles in response at the contact, goosebumping all over instantly. Insides

tingling with anticipation of seeing my mate again. I miss him beyond words, even if it’s insane to do so.

Where are you?

I reply desperately, unable to contain the surge of adrenalin that hearing him inside my head gives me.

Just a tiny ounce of contact, restoring some of this desolate emptiness I’ve been feeling since that

night.

I'm in the pack house and we have to be discreet. Meet me in the west forest, deep down by the old

cavern, within the hour. Don't let anyone see you leave. I'm being watched like a hawk, but I know how

to get there unseen. We have to talk face to face.

I almost sob with both the utter happiness at hearing from him and the fact I will get to see him for real,

not just an image in my head. To share physical air, and lay eyes on what my soul craves the most. The

only thing dampening my crazy instant elation is the serious almost monotone hint in his voice and the

lack of his excitement I’m experiencing as I pick up emotions through the link.

Can't we talk like this first. I don't know if I can get out right away, and it just feels so good hearing you

inside my head again. Don't go. Talk to me now.

I sound as desperate as I feel, and I don’t want him to close the link once more. I’ve waited endlessly to

have him link me like this.

No. It's harder like this, it only strengthens our bond when we link this way and I have a lot to say. I told

you, this needs to be face to face. There’s something we have to do properly.

My heart plummets into my stomach as his alpha tone hints through, and I know I’m being commanded

and not asked. That doesn’t sit well, and the sense of foreboding that sentence gives me almost rips

my soul in two. It’s obvious whatever he wants to say is not going to be about finding a way to make

this work without his father’s blessing. He wouldn’t care about making our bond stronger if that were

true. I try to ignore the suspicions, but I just can’t.

Just meet me, please.

This time the tone is gone and it’s just sheer request with a little underlying plead. I hold in the urge to

beg him to talk more now and push the tears aside, clinging onto hope that maybe face to face it will be

something good, not what I fear, and nod into my empty room. Heaviness consuming me as heartache

gnaws at my stomach and chest.

I'll be there.

I sound deflated, sad. Close to breaking, with a raw huskiness in my tone that I can’t conceal and wait

for him to close the link between us. Like waiting on something painful to happen, and I hold my breath.

Alora?....... I'm.... I wish it didn't have to be this way. I'm sorry that it was me.

Before I get a chance to reply to that strained husky reply, he closes off and I physically feel the link

between us go dead. My mind quieting back to solitary and I know he’s gone. Even with a bond, a mate

can choose to close the channel of communication at will, and he just did, like he has been doing for

days. I stare at the wall numbly, lost in the moment and how empty everything feels once more.

Knowing that my prison is going to be eternal and I can’t see any other way out.

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