As I'm starting to wake up, I'm too lazy to get out of bed just yet. I have been so focused on Jayden
getting better that I haven't thought of myself. I have been watching him like a hawk since he has fully
healed, not wanting him to be tempted to hurt himself. I have been so worried when he is out of my site
so when he is, it's not for long.
I still haven't been able to tell Landon the truth about me. He has been so busy with pack stuff that I
barely have seen him. I hope that he is at least attempting to spend time with Jayden. I wouldn't dare
give him fatherly advice. Knowing it would only piss him off. He isn't a person who really likes people
giving him any kind of advice on how to raise his son.
I have been staying at Landon's house in the guest room, so I can watch over Jayden properly, but
some of the she-wolf's dislike my presence in his home. My only concern is Jayden. I want to make
sure he is okay. I need to be there for Jayden, but I am also starting to worry that I'm not going to have
a life of my own. I feel like I'm being selfish asking for alone time, but I just need a day, even just a
couple of hours to myself every now and again.
I'm going to ask Landon if it's at all possible for him to come home early to plan a surprise adventure
with his son so I can go home, get a shower and bring some clothes over for when I stay. Hoping he
doesn't get mad at me by asking him to spend time with Jayden. Knowing he is so sensitive to how
people word things when it comes to Jayden.
In all honesty I should just tell Landon to grow the fuck up, he needs to stop being so damn sensitive to
everybody's words, he is an alpha for christ's sake. I'm so sick and tired of tiptoeing around about
everything, I just want to be myself not having to worry.
He hasn't really talked much to Jayden since I told him that he was hurting himself on purpose. I'm not
sure what is going on, but he needs to get over it. Jayden is a smart kid he sees that his father is
ignoring him. Landon needs to talk about it instead of burying himself in his work.
Wondering what time it is, shocked that Jayden has not been in my bedroom to wake me up, yet he is
usually always up bright and early. He wakes me up by jumping and singing on my bed. Wondering
where he is, I force myself up, knowing I could lie in this comfy bed all day. I need to resist knowing I
need to get up, so I can check up on Jayden.
I get up and search for my robe to put it on and head for the door once I open it's quiet. It's sort of
making me nervous about how quiet it is. I walked to Jayden's room and I noticed he's not in it, I
panicked. I run to Landon's room and notice he's not there, either. Hoping that they are together, and
that Jayden has not run off once again. I go down the stairs to the main entrance as I open the door to
go outside. Landon and Jayden are coming, I am so relieved.
Landon looks at me confused “were you really going to go outside in your rope you need to go change
before you go outside.
Not really sure why he would care if I went outside in my robe. I let out a laugh “no I was not I saw that
Jayden wasn't in the house I got worried, so I was going to find him.”
He looks at me with an irritated look. I'm uncertain why. “Well, I think it's time that you go home and
things get back to normal, don't you think?”
I know I want my space, I want to live in my own place, but the constant worry of Jayden, will I be able
to deal with it all? “Do you think that everything would be ok if I left?”
“Of course everything would be ok. Why wouldn't it be we don't need you here.”
Jayden looks up at his father “daddy, that wasn't very nice to say you don't have to be so mean.”
“Jayden, why don't you go to your room and play so Lilly and I can have a talk please.”
“OK but daddy you better be nice to her, or I'm going to be mad at you.”
I look at Jayden “it's ok buddy, your daddy just wants to talk to me I'll see you soon.”
I look at Landon “I'm not here for you, I'm here for him, I just want to make sure that he's ok, and he
doesn't try to harm himself to see his mother.”
“I'm his father. I can take care of my son. I don't need your help. I think it's time that you go.”
“I'm hoping you just mean that I go back to the cabin and not leave the pack.”
“I'm not sure what I mean, I just want you to leave this house. I'm tired of your presence, you need to
go.”
I get angry all that I have done has been for his child, and he's being an asshole. I want to hold
everything back, but I can't any longer. I'm done trying to please this man, who has no way of pleasing
him. His jealousy of me and Jayden is ridiculous. I can not get kicked out of his pack. I promised
Jayden I would never leave him.
“Landon, I don't know what your problem is, but I've been staying here for your son. You have been off
on business every day for the past 2 weeks and I have been watching over Jayden, making sure that
he is ok. It's fine if you want me to leave you alone but don't you dare tell me to leave Jayden alone
because I can't promise you that.”
I walk away, not wanting to argue with him any longer. Sort of hurt in a way. Not understanding how he
doesn't see my intentions, they are not bad. I go to my room to change and to get my clothes, so I can
leave. I then go to Jaden's Room. I see that he is playing.
“Jayden, I'm going to go to my house if you need anything you know where I am at.”
“Lilly, you promised you wouldn't leave me, you can't go.”
“I am not leaving you, I will be at my house. You can come over anytime you please.”
I walk over and give him a big hug as he squeezes my body tight. I don't want to let him go. I know that
I have to. I don't want Landon to make me leave. That wouldn't just break my heart, it would break
Jayden's too, not sure what he would do if I left.
“I will see you soon, we will be training, remember. I just have to get it all sorted out with your father.”
As I go to walk out of his room, he gets up and runs over and gives me another big hug.” Lilly, thank
you so much for helping me, I'm happy we found each other.”
Tears begin to feel my eyes “buddy I'm not going anywhere I promise you because I'm not at your
house does not mean I'm not here for you just remember that if you need me, you know where I will
be.”
“I love you Lilly.”
“I love you too.”
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