Chapter 107 It will never be me
Her questions and expressions made Alex smirk. "What makes you think that I am?"
"Well… for you to be able to punish that princess, like you said you did, you would have to be someone as powerful as the royal family, if not more, right? But why did they do that? Was it because they don't want you to marry a commoner like me?" Abi explained her thoughts to him.
She had read a few fictional romance novels about the love between royals and commoners and how the royal family would always try and break them up because the commoner wasn't a suitable match.
However, her theory was laughed at by Alex. Was she wrong?
"Crown prince, huh?" he muttered once he stopped laughing. He looked at Abi with a playful smirk as he caressed her cheek with his thumb. "Rest assured, little lamb. I'm not a crown prince or part of the royal family. And I am not planning to marry anyone, Abigail."
"But you would eventually marry in the future, right?"
Alex's hand on her face paused and for some reason, Abi felt like all the lights in his eyes disappeared for a moment as he murmured.
"The future… I don't have a future, Abigail…" he said and Abi's eyes widened.
"W-what do you mean you don't have a future?!" Abi suddenly panicked. She felt her heartbeat turn chaotic as she moved her body to rise.
However, Alex was quick to pin her down again. "Abigail, how many times do I have to tell you to stay put?" he scolded her but Abi was unfazed.
"It's because you're saying such things again!" She suddenly became emotional and Alex had no idea why. "Saying you don't have a future… only people who are dying say things like that! Are you dying?!"
Alex was speechless. Why did this girl keep getting riled up by unnecessary things like this?
"Little lamb, do I look like I'm dying?" he asked as he pointed to his own face. His expression was filled with disbelief.
"No, but…" Abi replied after staring at him for a long while.
"What I'm saying is… I don't have that kind of future, Abigail. Marrying someone… that's absolutely not for me," he told her. He sounded like he had made up his mind a long time ago and that there was no changing his mind about it.
Somehow, even though Abi's expression finally changed and she had at least calmed down, for some reason, his last sentence pierced like a needle through her heart.
"W-why? Why don't you want to marry? Is it because you don't want children? Or is it because you just can't see yourself settling down with one person? Or is it because you don't believe in marriage?" Abi stared deeply into his eyes as she spoke.
"As for me I… That is definitely something I would like to experience… I want to wear that white wedding dress, walk down the aisle towards my soon-to-be husband and say those vows. To dance and celebrate and to live happily ever after with them," she told him and Alex's lips parted.
He was at a loss for words.
The truth was that getting married was supposed to be one of Abi's wishes. This was something that had been on her mind for a long while now. What normal girl out there didn't dream of their wedding day? But she knew that that was too much for her to ask. She knew there was no way Alex or anyone else would agree to it, so she crossed it off her list.
Abi felt a little tensed as the silence dragged on. Maybe she shouldn't have brought this topic up. She knew she sounded crazy. She had only been with this man a little more than two weeks and bringing something up like this would surely scare any sane man away. But she was only telling the truth. Getting married was something every woman dreamed of and this was next in line below her ultimate wish but she knew that was simply impossible.
After a minute or so, as expected, Alex chuckled noisily as he shook his head. He probably thought that she had gone mad.
However, a second later, his eyes turned serious.
"Tell me, Abigail… why are you saying all this?" he asked. His eyes were brooding and Abi's heart skipped a beat when she realized that Alex might be starting to become suspicious.
"Uhm… well… this is… because you said you'd never marry. How can you say that when you haven't even tried it? What if we get married and be a married couple for the rest of the month? Maybe after our trial marriage, you might change your mind and decide to marry someone for real and have a family in the future." Abi bit her lips.
She didn't know what she was saying anymore. She just didn't want him to suspect anything. But her last sentence was like a sharp knife being pierced through her heart. The thought of him marrying someone else someday hurt her, so damn bad.
Alex threw back his head as he let out a throaty chuckle before he looked at her again, shaking his head. "Little lamb, do you have any idea how ridiculous you are becoming by the day? I can't believe you are actually thinking about something like this."
"I don't see anything wrong with wanting to experience it," she defended herself.
"Abigail… you'll get married properly one day. There's no need for you to rush like this."
"If… I do get married one day… you're saying that my groom won't be you?"
"Yes. It will never be me, Abigail," he answered and Abi almost felt like she was being strangled.
That was right, she almost forgot what Alex told her the first time they met. That he didn't do love and that was exactly the reason why she chose him. "I told you, that's not for someone like me."
"Is it because you don't want to settle down or commit to anyone?"
Abi saw Alex's eyes glimmered with something she couldn't comprehend.