Chapter 342 - 342: Unreleased Feelings
"She… massacred half of Vanaheim?"
"She did, it was pretty recent; five hundred years ago. Only a few select from the other Realms knew and know of this. It was also because of her that Latanya was able to become the leader of Vanaheim-- she healed most of them. It truly is quite a wonder, isn't it, King Evans? The people that surrounded you in the past all have meaningful roles in this world. Truly, as expected of someone with the gravity of your fate."
"Are you… okay, Athena?"
Hearing Estrid's somewhat casual way of talking, Van could not help but look her straight in the eyes. For him, everything she was saying now was something crucial that Van definitely needed to know going forward-- and she was saying it like it wasn't.
Some of his friends were still out there somewhere, Angela was out there, and the vampire she was talking about was probably none other than Sarah. In a weird way, Van was still trying to find some semblance of his past that remained unmoving, Gerald was exactly that-- but that was it.
He was trying so hard to find something that still made sense in this secular world.
"What do you mean 'am I okay?'"
"The things you've been telling me, don't you think they are a pretty big deal? Talking from a perspective of war; Sarah, Angela, as well as her sister. Aren't they potential allies?" Van said, "Shouldn't we be trying to reach out to them, not to mention Latanya?"
"...War?" Estrid raised an eyebrow, "You are still of wars? I am afraid you are beyond wars now, King Evans. In the fight that you will be fighting from now on, you are alone. Your daughter and the forest giants, this squabble with the humans, Harvey and the others-- they are all meaningless. Now, the only thing you should be thinking is how to absorb all of these people."
Estrid then gestured towards the other seemingly normal-looking people in the street, all busily living out their seemingly normal lives; trading with the stalls, carrying a basket full of food to bring to their families, creating trinkets. It truly was as if the people around him were not a feared and dominant race, but just villagers.
"But for the meantime, follow me."
Not giving even Van a time to speak his mind, Estrid suddenly pulled him away; not stopping until they reached some kind of garden, with some kind of colossal glass dome covering it.
"This is…"
"A place of leisure," Estrid muttered as she continued to hold Van by the wrist, once again dragging him towards the entrance of the dome garden.
"Ticket for two, please."
"Here you go, 1 adult and 1 child. Have fun with your son!"
"Thanks, I will!" Once again, before Van could even say a word, Estrid dragged him inside the garden. He was confused at first as to why she decided to change into a form that looked similar to him, was it because it would be better to be recognized as a mother and child? It would prevent people from asking questions as well.
Van was going to say something as soon as they were somewhat far from the keeper, but before he could do so, the scenery in front of him suddenly changed.
The busy town that was supposed to be just outside the dome could no longer be seen. It was as if they were suddenly inside a lush forest; filled with only foliage and tall trees. There were also flowers that seem to reflect the sun, almost blinding them with their brilliance.
"It's the town's gem," Estrid explained as she gestured to Van to walk with her, "Asgard has many cities, similar to Midgard in a way; except the people are… more evolved in a way."
"High Humans," Van then said, "I was called a High Human when I first arrived in this place, and I was told that they were humans who died honorably in--"
"Lies," Estrid let out a short but deep sigh, "High Humans are just a group of System Holders that have found refuge in Vanaheim; part of the Transported. It's all just… romanticized."
"Then--"
"King Evans, please stop," Estrid then halted her steps as they reached some sort of lake, with benches for people to sit on and relish the sights, "Instead of asking about this world and other people, shouldn't you be worried about yourself first?"
Estrid then sat on one of the benches, gesturing to Van to sit beside her.
"...Why? Is there something I should be worried about?" Van slightly furrowed his eyebrows, slightly hesitating to sit beside Estrid, but still doing so in the end.
"Of course," Estrid quickly nodded, "You've been thrown tens of thousands of years into the future, you've lost the people that mean the most to you, the very first real friends you have made in your life are now against you, the only semblance of a family in this world asked to die in your arms... In truth, in a way, everything you have ever known died when Hermes's body exploded-- including you."
"...I know that already."
"Do you?" Estrid then slightly leaned closer to Van, "Have you even had time to grieve? I was devastated when I heard the news about Artemis."
"That's… I do not see the point in grieving."
"She is dead, King Evans. You will no longer be able to see her, touch her, or be with her. The memories you could have made in your almost eternal lives, extinguished for eternity. If you truly did have feelings for her, then you should grieve."
"I do not see the point in--"
"You will no longer be able to laugh with the friends you've made. The moments of joy that had with Harvey and the others are now only memories, and will soon fade in time."
"..."
"You did not even get the chance to say goodbye to your sister, to the people you have met along the way. Gil, Nisha… any many more," Estrid continued, "Why don't you stop surviving for once…
...and just grieve?"
"Because there's no point in it!"
The calm and tranquil lake slightly trembled as Van stood up from his seat, his voice echoing through its surface,
"The only thing I can do is move forward!"
His voice slightly cracked as he looked Estrid straight in the eyes, "Everything I do, everything I have achieved has crumbled in front of me and all I could really do is just run straight through it because that is what I do! Isn't it!? Isn't that why I was gifted the power to fucking run fast!? First I am in the Academy, then suddenly I'm in a fucking prison because what… I fought for my right!? And now suddenly, surprise, I have a child that's thousands of years old."
Van let out a wry chuckle as he slightly rolled his eyes, letting out a short exasperated gasp, "I mean, I like her, really. I want to protect her with all of my life… but did you really think I wanted to be here? Do you think I wanted to be the one responsible for saving the fucking world from these World Eaters from another universe?"
"..."
"I just wanted a normal life! If I wished for that, do you think it would suddenly just be given to me!?"
And slowly, as Van's voice gets higher and higher, a hint of redness flickered in his eyes; followed by a tear that slowly trailed across his face.
"You think I'm not aware that the people I have killed also have dreams and lives of their own!? If I don't fight and run, I would just be one of them! That's why all I could do is move ahead until… until…
...I don't know what I'm doing, Athena."
"...I know," Estrid then slowly wrapped her arms around Van, "I know, King Evans."
"I'm... just 17 years old," Van stuttered, "How the fuck am I supposed to know what I am doing?."
"I know."
"I miss them, Athena… I miss laughing with them."
"I know."
"Harvey, Andrea, Victoria… I miss eating with them."
"I know."
"I didn't want to kill Miss Charlotte… I wanted to help her."
"I know."
"My life with Artemis was only starting, that was my chance… my chance for a normal life. I might not have been ready to take care of the children, but that was supposed to be normal. That was it… I didn't care about saving the world, I didn't care about Evangeline's plans-- I just wanted a family."
"I know."
"...But I can't."
"..."
"The only thing I could do is move forward and accept this fucking destiny," Van then slowly pushed himself away from Estrid, wiping the tears that dampened his resolve, "To protect the family that I have now."
"...And how do you plan on doing that?"
"Devour anything that stands in my way. Whether it's the humans, the Aesir, or the World Eaters from Azrael's world."
"I see," Estrid let out a short but deep breath, "Did you hear that, Odin?"
"!!!"
Van quickly looked to the side as he heard a rustle coming from the leaves, and as soon as he did so, he saw a very familiar face standing on the tree nearest to them-- it was none other than the owner of the orphanage,
Old man Bjorn.