I can't get a pregnancy test in prison. So I'm not sure.
I don't know whom I can talk to about that.
And I have no idea what to do if I'm really pregnant.
I am at lost, but instinctively, I want to protect my unborn child.
Fortunately, Mindy will come to visit me today. I can use her advice.
Through the glass, I see Mindy looking at me with anxiety.
I force a smile at her, then sit down, and pick up the phone.
Mindy sobs while talking, tears rolling in her eyes.
"Jane, you seem to have lost so much weight. And you look haggard. Did you get bullied inside?"
Got bullied?
I sure did.
But those pains and humiliations make me feel alive.
"No. I have something to tell you."
I frown and whisper, "Mindy, I might be pregnant."
Mindy's expression suddenly changes.
She is so shocked that she almost can't hold the receiver.
"Why are you pregnant now? You can't keep this child!"
I wanted to listen to her opinion. But when I hear she says it so decisively, suddenly, I feel even more
reluctant to give up on this child.
"Why?"
I murmur.
Mindy's face darkens. She doesn't look at me when she says with a low voice, "You tell me! Frances
now hates you, and you are in prison. What will you do with this child? Who do you think should get
custody? Frances or you? Actually, you don't like either of the options, do you? What's more, it hasn't
been long since Earl was born, and you delivered her by c-section. You shouldn't give birth to another
child for two years, otherwise, you might die of bleeding."
Mindy does have a point there.
But I can be very stubborn. I'm not good at taking others' advice.
I don’t want to lose this child.
I almost lost Earl for several times. I know how it hurts to lose my child. I don't want to feel that pain
again.
"By the way, are you sure you're pregnant? You can't get a pregnancy test in prison. How did you
know?"
"I just know it. I've got pregnant once. I know how it feels when I'm pregnant. Besides, my period has
been delayed by ten days." I reply in a low voice.
"It's not convincing at all. I'll help you come out for an examination. You also need some fresh air."
"Get out? There are doctors in the prison. They won't allow me to get out."
I say with a bitter smile.
I hate being here. If possible, I don't want to stay here for another second.
"Don't worry. It's not a big deal for David."
Mindy reassures me.
I nod in agreement.
Actually, I am looking forward to going out, not just because I've stayed here for too long.
It is more because that I want to see Earl and Frances.
Even a sneak glance at them from afar is enough for me.
It's a great comfort to me to know that they're safe and sound.
Ever since I find out that I may be pregnant, I've tried to hide from those people.
At night, I shake the quilt over and over again before going to bed at ease.
The next day, I leave the prison with two undercover policemen.
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