Chapter 866: Flawed
Lieutenant Dyester couldn't help but compare the current Khan to the kid from his memories. He still recalled how broken up Khan had been about his actions on Istrone. Many soldiers would have never recovered, but Lieutenant Dyester now knew that Khan didn't have that option.
The nightmares had forced Khan to stride forward. His curse had pushed him past the breaking point multiple times, worsening his already damaged psyche. He was basically compelled to overcome every tragedy that befell his life, and the price couldn't have been low.
Lieutenant Dyester was surprised Khan didn't turn into a complete psychopath. Anyone would have gone crazy or given up on life after experiencing a fraction of what he had faced, and for good reason. Both paths were completely understandable and earned.
Instead, Khan still retained some clarity and good in him. He had done despicable and extreme things, but his actions always had his safety or greater goals behind them. Khan didn't even enjoy them. He probably hated them more than those on the other end of his knife.
Lieutenant Dyester could also understand how Khan had managed to retain those qualities. The nightmares took most of the commendation or blame, but Lieutenant Dyester could find something else, something he was guilty of.
"I was wrong," Lieutenant Dyester announced. "Back then, I was wrong."
The intensity of Khan's aura didn't wane, but he didn't push his threat forward, either. He saw Lieutenant Dyester's guilt but couldn't connect it to anything in his memories. For once, Khan didn't understand what his old Master was saying.
"I failed to realize how stupidly stubborn you were," Lieutenant Dyester sighed. "I said those things knowing you would take them to heart, but I miscalculated how extreme you were."
"Are you apologizing or insulting me?" Khan wondered.
"You are different," Lieutenant Dyester said. "I don't know if it's about your mutations, alien education, or whatnot, but you won't let killing grow meaningless in your mind. You just can't."
Khan finally realized what Lieutenant Dyester was talking about. He spoke about their talk before his departure to Nitis. That conversation featured his last lesson and advice, which Khan still followed to this day.
"Are you suggesting I should go around killing anyone without feeling guilty?" Khan scoffed. "I thought you were supposed to be my moral compass."
"And I'm doing that job," Lieutenant Dyester claimed. "This path of yours can only lead to one conclusion. You'll become a monster, and all of us will die to the scarlet eyes."
Khan frowned, tilting his head in confusion. Lieutenant Dyester's statement made no sense. Khan already believed he was a monster. He also thought that transformation was necessary to deal with the impending universal threat.
"You learned about the scarlet eyes mere hours ago," Khan declared. "How can you speak of them so confidently?"
"It's not about them," Lieutenant Dyester explained. "I simply know you won't last if you keep punishing yourself."
Khan instinctively diverted his gaze. He had already discussed the matter with Monica, and the conclusions had been far from happy. As incredible as he was, he couldn't shoulder everything alone. One day, Khan would have to send his underlings to battle, and their lives would fall on his conscience.
That level of responsibility was something Khan had never asked for. He would even refuse it, given the chance. The quest had simply fallen on him because he didn't succumb to the nightmares.
Zu-Gru's sacrifice popped into Khan's mind. He didn't forget it. He even recalled the anger it had generated. That event had been a turning point in Khan's life, something he hoped he would never experience anymore. Still, all evidence indicated he would, and Lieutenant Dyester argued that his mind wouldn't survive in its current state.
"You did good, kid," Lieutenant Dyester praised. "You did better than anyone could ever have hoped, but you must stop now."
Khan didn't like that idea one bit. If history had proven anything, it was his mental resilience. He could push himself more. He could be even better and potentially lower the number of inevitable future casualties.
"Look around you," Lieutenant Dyester continued, nodding toward the people at the cave's entrance. "You still have people who follow and love you. You built a paradise for different species. What else do you want?"
"You forget I paid the price for this in blood and lives," Khan snorted, his gaze returning to his old Master.
"So what?" Lieutenant Dyester asked. "They tried to kill you first."
"And that makes it good?" Khan questioned, floating toward Lieutenant Dyester until his feet landed on the small empty spot before him. "I can think of many people who still want to kill me. Should I engage in another slaughter?"
"Why not?" Lieutenant Dyester wondered.
"Booze made you mental, old man," Khan mocked. "You were rotting among dirty cells just a few years ago for things you are advising me to do."
"I was a weak soldier," Lieutenant Dyester declared. "You are neither weak nor a soldier."
Lieutenant Dyester lifted his hand, carefully placing it on Khan's shoulder. He almost expected his arm to fall, but Khan didn't react. The latter waited for him to finish his point.
"Life has been unfair with you," Lieutenant Dyester said. "It forced you to become a man too soon. It turned you into a leader against your choice. My teachings can work with soldiers, but Generals can't think like that."
"And how should Generals think?" Khan asked.
"What should I know?" Lieutenant Dyester laughed. "That's for you to figure it out. I'm only telling you to drop the baggage this drunkard told you to keep."
Khan was at a loss for words. After destroying part of the area, exchanging spells, and throwing insults, that was Lieutenant Dyester's conclusion. The matter was so idiotic Khan couldn't refrain himself from chuckling.
"I came this close to killing you," Khan laughed, "And this is your answer. I'm surrounded by
idiots."
"Because we are attracted to the greatest idiot there is," Lieutenant Dyester declared.
"At least I am aware of my idiocy," Khan said, shaking his head and removing the hand from his shoulder.
Khan turned, floating above the vast hole to return to the cave's entrance, and Lieutenant Dyester smiled at the scene. He knew he couldn't fix years of bad habits in a single conversation, but the idea had taken root. Everything else was up to Khan and, hopefully, Monica.
"Khan," Lieutenant Dyester called, and Khan stopped mid-air, looking past his shoulder. "I'm sure your father would be proud of you," Lieutenant Dyester shouted. "That's because he was a bigger idiot than I'll ever be," Khan responded, finishing crossing
the hole.
Abraham didn't know what to say, but Khan didn't give him the chance to speak. Khan muttered a simple "Out" before lifting Monica on his shoulder and returning inside the cave. Their figures soon disappeared into the darkness, leaving the two men outside.
"That was most impressive, Master Carl," Abraham praised, studying the area to find the best
way to cross the hole.
"Impressive, my ass," Lieutenant Dyester cursed, strength abandoning his legs and forcing him to sit on the ground. "That fucking kid has become scary."
Abraham smiled, noticing Lieutenant Dyester's fingers trembling as they reached for his smokes. The man had truly feared death, vouching for their leader's strength. However, studying the area reminded him of something he didn't hesitate to mention.
"Master Carl," Abraham called, scouring the debris below him with his eyes. "Do you think Prince Khan's cape is under all this?"
The realization froze Lieutenant Dyester, who promptly jumped back to his feet. He also studied the hole but only saw rocks and dirt.
"Hurry! I don't want to hear them having sex!" Lieutenant Dyester shouted, jumping in the hole, and Abraham quickly followed him.
Meanwhile, Khan reached the end of the cave, Monica still lying on his shoulder. On his other shoulder, he had the Thilku cape, which he had retrieved without anyone noticing.
"Do you think they'll search for it all night?" Monica asked as Khan gently put her down.
"Warn them in half an hour," Khan ordered, laying the cape on the ground to create a
makeshift bed.
"Half an hour?" Monica questioned. She had expected Khan to indulge in his most primitive
urges, and half an hour wouldn't cut it.
"Sit," Khan requested, looking up at Monica and patting a spot on the cape.
Monica complied and giggled when Khan adjusted her legs to create a pillow. He lay his head
on her thighs, closing his eyes and doing his best to relax.
"Remind me to give my compliments to Master Carl," Monica commented.
"I thought you'd be jealous of his influence on me," Khan teased. "I'll take all the wins I can find," Monica claimed, "And getting you to rest is a win."
Monica reached for Khan's hair, caressing it to help him relax. The tiredness and drunkenness accumulated in the past days flared, threatening to send him to his nightmares on the spot. "Do you think he is right?" Khan yawned. "Is my mindset flawed?"
"It is, dear," Monica confirmed. "You are impossibly flawed, stubborn, self-destructive, and stupidly popular with women, but you also became like this out of love."
"I'd do unspeakable things to protect you," Khan said, "To protect all of you."
"We know," Monica reassured. "We understand and chose you because of that. You also
wouldn't survive without us, especially without me."
"I would have wasted away already without you," Khan admitted. "I wouldn't have survived half of the things that happened in the past years without you."
"Save these compliments for when we are naked," Monica sweetly scolded. "Now sleep, my King, for the universe will need you again tomorrow."