Chapter 2546 [Bonus] Oh...
[Bonus chapter courtesy of Mr. Mostert <3 1/6]
Leonel looked at his haul. He had over 50 Forgetful Orbs now. He felt that he would at most need 20 to reach the Life State, and that was if things went horribly. He should be guaranteed to succeed now.
He crushed the first one, and that familiar feeling of forgetfulness came back. It was like that moment just after you woke up in a new place... what was familiar had suddenly been replaced by something else, and you lay there confused for a moment, wondering what had happened to the world around you.
Even so, the confusion wasn't deep enough that you felt fear or trepidation. You were sure that there was a reason you were in this unfamiliar world, a reason for these soft bed sheets that were just a tad different from what you were used to... a reason why you were staring at a door when usually you would be staring at a window... why the shading and lighting wasn't exactly what you were used to despite the fact your internal clock told you that you should have woken up at around the same time.
Leonel basked in that feeling, and then he caught onto something new. It was actually a hint of fear.
This fear didn't come from his situation, but rather that feeling of loss that came with much of the context of his Dream Force being stripped from him.
His Dream Force wasn't just an external Force; it was him, and its rise in strength was the anchor that allowed him to find himself... his true self.
To him, Dream Force wasn't just a means to an end; it was the ends, and the context around how he had reached this stage wasn't just a casual enlightenment here and there... it was him, his true self.
Every step he had taken carried with it the weight of the person he was now, and there was a certain beauty to that. But it was likewise the reason he suddenly felt a hint of fear using this Forgetful Orb.
What if he couldn't bring it back? What if it would be lost to him forever if he took one too many? What if he would lose a piece or twist one far beyond recognition that he would lose a part of himself?
That uncomfortable feeling sunk in heavily and it was hidden deep within the core of himself.
Did everyone that comprehended a Dream Sovereignty feel that tranquility he had?
It was a sudden and random thought, one unlike the fear-laced ones he had had until this point. But after some thought, he didn't feel that they were as disconnected as he had originally assumed.
Wasn't that tranquility part of how he had found his true self? How he had purged the influence of the Demoness and become Leonel Morales, the real Leonel Morales?
Why was tranquility such a huge piece of his Sovereignty? It was because that was the first feeling he had back then, but was that all there was to it?
Maybe you could use several words to describe it. Tranquility, confidence, peace...
Then he remembered something else. The first few times he had used the Forgetful Orb, this being the fourth time overall and the first of this sitting, his Sovereignty had become an anchor... why did it feel different this time?
This fear wasn't there before, or maybe he hadn't noticed it? No, it definitely wasn't there; he had dug up as much as he could, he was certain, but he had barely gone far when he sensed the fear this time.
Leonel seemed to finally understand.
His Sovereignty was slipping away? It was being tested? Maybe it was being refined? Whatever it was, he could feel it getting further and further away. If it was the first thing, he already felt close to it slipping free of his hands. If it was the latter two, whatever was happening was failing.
Leonel could feel it quite clearly. It seemed the fear wasn't coming from his Dream Force itself, but rather it losing its anchor.
Considering everything, it made sense. It would likely only come with increasing difficulty to keep moving up like this. He already had one Sovereignty attached to a Life State Force, and two more a half-step away.
That made him take a step back again.
What was the difference between Destruction Sovereignty and Dream Sovereignty? Was there a dividing line between them?
He had just described his Destruction Sovereignty as something attached to his Scarlet Star Force, connected, but still ultimately separate.
However, could he describe his Dream Force in that way? How many other Sovereignties were like his Destruction Sovereignty?
Shadow Sovereignty seemed to fall into that category, but was it really separate? Or was it just another name for darkness? He didn't feel that it was the same thing?
Going through the list of Sovereignties, Destruction Sovereignty seemed to be the only one like that... Was that why he had felt less resistance when he raised himself to the Life State the first time?
Or maybe... what if it was related to El'Rion's warning again.
An Innate Node was probably a shortcut to grasping a Sovereignty, though that was oversimplifying it. Regardless, the reason he had wanted to find a Vital Star Force Innate Node in the first place was that he could access a hint of the Life State with it as well, that way he could save Aina right away instead of waiting.
The understanding settled in for Leonel. So it was because Existence tended to set up barriers when one was trying to enter the Life State more than once, those barriers were even more stringent when you were trying to keep your Sovereignty at the same time.
'Oh... so that's why...'
When Leonel understood the reason for the fear, and grasped that it wasn't something coming from himself, he smiled.
'In that case, piss off.'
If this mysterious force wanted to use fear to stall him, it was going to have to do a better job than that.
His Dream Force was his sense of self, it couldn't be so casually swayed, not now, and hopefully never again.