Chapter 3591 Tormented by Dilemmas
Although people often stated that expert pilots had shed all of their doubts, that didn't prevent people like Venerable Joshua from generating new doubts.
The acquisition of power and the complete transformation of status that expert pilots enjoyed always made them completely happy at first. They had fulfilled their dreams and become a demigod.
Yet once they settled into their new routines, they soon learned that demigods weren't as aloof to mortal concerns as they thought.
The reliance on expert mechs to do their jobs, the alienation they felt when interacting with ordinary people and the drastic changes in mentality all produced numerous new problems.
Not all of them could be solved by being stubborn. The questions that were serious enough to plague expert pilots usually revolved around conflicting values and principles!
There weren't obvious correct answers to them. They were dilemmas exactly because expert pilots would feel bad regardless of how they resolved them. Anyone who made the wrong choice might even cause their convictions to weaken, thereby undermining the basis of their extraordinary strength!
Joshua needed to think carefully about the dilemma that was increasingly disturbing his progress. His affinity and appreciation of life was part of the reason why he was such an effective expert pilot, but now his sympathy for other living creatures was turning into an increasingly greater hindrance!
Fortunately, he wasn't alone in this. Nobody said that expert pilots were prohibited from gaining other people's help in resolving their doubts.
The only issue was that the separation between expert pilots and other people made it difficult for advice to truly sink through. Joshua needed to hear a very good argument in order to embrace it with his entire will.
Ketis was not ignorant of what this problem could do to her boyfriend. As a swordmaster, she too needed to confront similar demons one day. The pursuit of power was never smooth. In order to become the best warrior in existence, people like Joshua and her needed to pass many tests in order to prove their worthiness to wield greater power.
Those that blindly pursued strength without understanding their own selves were merely children who wielded too much power. They were destined to self-destruct sooner or later.
At least that was what Ketis thought. The Heavensword Association gathered a lot of insight about swordmasters as they struggled to surpass their peers and become the next Heavensword Saint. She figured that expert pilots must be undergoing a similar journey.
Joshua's admission caused the pair to cut their time in the petting zoo short. Neither of them were in the mood to appreciate the cute vajerns any further.
The two leisurely walked through the rough and basic streets of Pejana in silence. Despite all of the construction going on, the colony settlement already developed a lot of liveliness.
Many colonists brought over from the old galaxy were building their homes or settling into their new jobs with plenty of optimism. Their children were running around in playgrounds or heading off to their schools.
Various animals, both indigenous and imported from human society, were roaming for food or companionship.
When Joshua soaked in the mood of this city, he recovered a bit. The atmosphere in this city was not that different from what he was used to in the Larkinson fleet.
Few if any of these colonists tangled themselves over the morality and righteousness of invading the territory of other alien races. They held no empathy towards the former residents of Pellysa III and only focused on their own concerns.
To the colonists, the extinction of so much alien life was irrelevant to them. They only cared about what they could gain from the Big Two's systematic massacre and genocide of every powerful threat that occupied the new frontier.
The dilemma that Joshua faced was whether he should follow suit or stick to his developing impulses.
This was genuinely a difficult matter.
Though Ketis tried to give her boyfriend space, she couldn't allow him to keep wallowing in his own thoughts forever. Expert pilots were infamous for being too blind to alternatives.
"Are you thinking about speaking up against the killing of aliens?" Ketis asked.
Joshua hesitantly shrugged. "I don't know. I know that if I attempt such a thing, I'll get into a lot of trouble. Neither the Big Two nor many people in our clan will approve of such a sentiment. To most people, the aliens who live in the Red Ocean are enemies and obstacles to their own pursuits. Getting rid of them is the best way to profit from the new frontier. I might be an expert pilot, but even I'm not stupid enough to fight against all of human society."
"Your mind says no, but I think your heart has a different answer in mind." Ketis keenly said as she studied his expression. "You don't want people killing every alien in sight. You think the other races still deserve to live. Is this the stance you want to embrace?"
"I… can't say. I cannot do such a thing when I know that I will get myself and my clan in a lot of trouble. Hardly anyone in human society actually supports coexisting with alien civilizations. People are too afraid of getting attacked by those who do not see humans as friends or allies."
Ketis sighed. "You're becoming too soft-hearted, Joshua. If you accept this stance, then what next? Say you begin to feel guilty about defeating enemy human mech pilots. Is it worth it for you to spare their lives when they often provoked an attack against our clan? What if they have Larkinson blood on their hands?"
"I would still kill them if that is what it takes to end their threat towards our clansmen." Joshua answered with slightly renewed conviction. "Aside from that, I would be more inclined to take them prisoner if possible."
"Are you sure about that? Sometimes, we take prisoners, but no one seems to know what happened to them after that. I haven't heard of any instances where we put them back where they belonged…"
"..."
Ketis sighed. "You're being a big dummy, you know that? Your idealism is adorable, but it's also naive and stupid. The cosmos isn't a giant petting zoo where different species can get along with each other without any effort. It's a giant jungle where species like ours struggle for survival. Only the fittest and most ruthless species have the capital to remain and think about silly thoughts like yours. If humanity wasn't as strong as it is now, you would have never spared so much sympathy for our alien competitors."
She made a lot of sense. Joshua could easily get behind her viewpoint if not for the fact that she so casually dismissed the fact that humanity went way overboard in wiping out different forms of life.
"I don't know what to think at this moment. I still need to search for an answer. Let's do something else. I need a distraction."
"Okay."
The couple proceeded to spend their time on shopping and exploring other curiosities. Pejana might not be a finished city, but it already offered plenty of exotic sights such as fallen alien monuments and products made out of materials derived from local beasts and materials.
After purchasing a bracelet for himself and Ketis, the couple moved to a restaurant where they partook in the local specialties.
The mood between the two was not that great. Though Ketis had finally pulled herself away from her work, her boyfriend had sunk deeper into the pit of his own dilemma.
She looked concerned as she reached out and held Joshua's hand. The warmth from his skin and personality never failed to inject warmth in her heart.
"Joshua, I love you, but I can't bear to see you like this. You really need to do something about your issue. If you can't solve it by talking to me, then try and approach someone else. I think that Ves would love to help you deal with your dilemma."
He snorted. "No thanks. I've been with the patriarch long enough to know what he will do to me. He'll convince me that I shouldn't feel any guilt at all and that potential threats need to be eliminated before they can pose a threat to him and the clan."
"Is he wrong in thinking this way?"
"I don't disagree with the notion that you need to deal with potential threats in advance, but… we've never tried any alternatives. It wouldn't be that difficult for human civilization to keep at least some aliens alive. They don't need to be strong. Just putting them into small enclaves should be enough."
"That's an impractical solution due to multiple reasons. Any alien race that has not yet gone extinct can always make a comeback. Revenge against humans will no doubt be high on the agenda. If you become too soft-hearted and make a mistake, your decision might haunt you one day if Larkinsons will die as a consequence. Life isn't equal. An exobeast is worth less than a sentient alien. An alien is worth less than a human. A random human is worth less than a Larkinson. As for me…"
Joshua looked at Ketis in the eyes. "You…"
"Please answer this simple question for me. In your heart and soul, who is more inseparable to you. Me, or the Everchanger?"
"What?"
"If you have to make a choice between losing me or your expert mech, who would you sacrifice?"
"That… I can't answer that, Ketis. I love you, but I adore the Everchanger as well. Both of you are precious to me. I can't bear to think about giving up either of you!"
His lack of a decisive answer finally made Ketis upset!
"This is exactly your problem, Joshua! Your ride to expert pilot has been too smooth! Compared to the likes of Venerable Stark or Venerable Dise, you're way too indecisive! It doesn't matter if you're a demigod or not. You're not powerful enough to impose your ideals onto humanity. You need to accept the fact that you have to make hard choices, and that means being willing to give up some of the things you love or find important."
"I… I get what you're saying, but the dichotomy you forced upon me is too unfair!" Joshua defended himself. "There will never be a situation where I have to make a choice between you and the Everchanger. Any enemy that is strong enough to eliminate one of us is certainly strong enough to kill all of us. The dilemma you came up with is not grounded in realism!"
Ketis shook her head in disappointment. "That's not the point. Even if the scenario is unrealistic, I still expect you to be decisive enough to make a choice. Do you want to know the truth, Joshua? I wouldn't have been upset with you if you said you would choose the Everchanger over me. At least you would have shown enough conviction to state the truth without fear. The reason why I wouldn't have been mad at you is because your answer today isn't necessarily the answer that you would give tomorrow. I still have plenty of chances to make you value my life over that of the Everchanger. Now, though…"
"I screwed up, didn't I?" Joshua looked glum.
Ketis stood up from her chair and turned towards the exit. "You need to figure out what you really want. You've grown stronger and I'm happy about that, but if you don't set your affairs straight, I don't think we can be around each other anymore. I have already said what I wanted to say. If you need more help, then I suggest you turn to someone else for advice. Better yet, try and figure it out on your own. This is your hurdle to pass, after all. Good evening, Joshua."
With those words, the swordmaster and mech designer left the restaurant without giving the lonesome expert pilot another glance.