Another suffocating silence passed through them. Li Xueyue couldn't find it in herself to speak. What could she say to him? She had revealed a weakness of hers that she never wanted anyone to find out—that she was pathetic. She had nightmares. She had baggage. She was dead weight.
No one should love her.
It was exactly as Viscount Bai had instilled in her core.
"Please," Li Xueyue finally said, her voice heavy. "Just go," she whispered the last part, half hoping he didn't hear it and half hoping he would.
Yu Zhen was never used to tantrums. He was often the one throwing them in the most lethal and unnoticeable manner. From slicing off the tongue of those who spread rumors about him, to beating his brothers at everything they were good at. His wrath was always unexpected and subtle.
He liked to think of himself as a patient man, but that was a lie. Whatever he demanded, he got. Being a second too late was still late and it deserved punishment. Everything had to go his way, or no way.
So why was it that he found himself holding his hands out for her, revealing his palms to show he meant no harm? Why was it that he was still approaching this stubborn woman when she should be the one to apologize? Why was he swallowing his pride?
"Come here, Sunshine," he softly said, urging Li Xueyue to take his outstretched hand.
Li Xueyue blinked. It wasn't a command. Guilt clawed at her chest, reminding her of how much of a burden she was. She bit her bottom lip, her brow furrowing together.
"I'm sorry…" she whispered.
"Come to me."
He didn't forgive her. Li Xueyue knew forgiveness was too much to expect. Their polar differences would eventually clash and wreak havoc in their lives. They were the opposite of each other.
Yu Zhen was the calm before the storm, and she was the violent crash of the waves.
"Yu Zhen, I-I don't think—"
He dropped his hands, an understanding smile on his face. "It's getting dark," he suddenly pointed out, turning his head to the window where the sun was still bright and high in the sky.
"I apologize, Princess Li. Your reputation must've been risked by my unannounced attendances," Yu Zhen formally said. "It won't happen next time."
He nodded his head, bidding her farewell. He didn't look at her again when he walked past her, as if he was leaving the house of a mere acquaintance.
Li Xueyue instantly turned around, watching as he wordlessly opened the door. She waited in silence, expecting him to slam the door, rattling the frames of the walls but he didn't. In fact, he softly closed it behind him.
She read somewhere that people can tell how dangerous someone is by the way they hold their anger quietly to themselves. Yu Zhen was the epitome of this saying.
Li Xueyue dug her fingers into her palm, forcing herself to remain rooted in this drawing-room. "This is for the best," she said out loud.
Li Xueyue shouldn't be dragged down by a man. She had made up her mind this morning, to bid him farewell. To request distance and time apart between them. Maybe his departure was for the best. Maybe it was better for him to walk out now, knowing there weren't strings attached between them—little red ribbons of fate wrapped around their pinkies. Maybe it was better for him—she couldn't finish her thought.
She dashed out the door.
Li Xueyue ran as fast as she could, abandoning all forms of etiquette. Her hairpins loosened and it didn't take long for them to clatter onto the ground. She didn't care for it, she didn't care about her image. She cared about him.
He had chased her once before. It was now her turn.
"Yu Zhen, wait!" she cried out, seeing his tiny figure in the far distance, growing smaller with each gasp of air she took.
Whether or not he had heard her pleas, he didn't show it.
Yu Zhen was disappearing from her view.
Li Xueyue forced herself to run, but how could she? Her legs were restricted by her blue hanfu, the beautiful color of the unlimited sky, yet it was the very thing that trapped her.
"Yu Zhen, please!" She didn't know if he had heard her, but he was gone.
Li Xueyue refused to stop for air, even if her vision was beginning to blur. Her heart lurched and she felt like throwing up from the exercise she hadn't had in a while.
She continued to run for him, even though he had turned the corner and was presumably on his way to his carriage.
Li Xueyue was grateful when she finally turned the same corner as him, even if it was at the expense of her overworked lungs.
"My lady!" A servant gasped when a whirl of blue whizzed past her.
She watched with her mouth agape as the Young Miss dashed to the front entrance of the Li Manor where a man was halfway up his carriage steps.
"Oh my, I must inform the Madam of this," the servant worriedly said, rushing in the opposite direction of her sprinting Young Miss.
Li Xueyue could see him now. He was outside the walls of the Li Manor, close to boarding his carriage. Her lungs were beginning to give out on her and in her haze, she suddenly tripped over footing, loudly crashing onto the ground.
Yu Zhen was distracted by one of his men who frantically whispered something to him. His eyes widened in disbelief and in an instant, he rushed into the carriage, as one of his servants closed the door for him. It did not take long for the horseman to start the carriage.
"My lady, are you alright?!" Worried servants instantly clustered Li Xueyue. Collective gasps could be heard when they saw her disheveled appearance.
"Your knees!" one of the handmaidens wailed, noticing the heavy fall had ripped through her hanfu, scrapping her pale skin.
"Quick, we must get you back to your room. The cut is deep and bleeding!" the same handmaiden said, her eyes wide with fear.
The rules stated that a young woman couldn't marry royalty if she possessed a scar.
Li Xueyue ignored them. She shoved her way past the servants, a cry of pain leaving her lips. She hobbled, biting her bottom lip. She continued her way to the front entrance, wincing and ignoring the mess she had turned herself into.
She made it out to the front entrance only for the whirl of dust to slam against her face. She shielded her face for a brief second and by the time she opened her eyes, the carriage wasn't there anymore.
Yu Zhen was gone with the wind.