Through The Eyes Of My Alpha Chapter 62Through the eyes of my alpha Chapter 62
RILEY I’ve been home for two days, and this was the first time I went out and saw the sun after 1 holed
up in our room when I came home. My Gamma and Jenny have been attending to pack matters. I told
them I just needed two days to myself, and tomorrow I would get back to work. They didn’t ask why and
what happened in Atlanta.
Perhaps my Beta has already called them and explained.
And I was thankful for that.
But there was one more thing I needed to do before I could start fixing up whatever was left of my tired
soul.
Maybe by doing this, I could finally move on and see a silver lining.
It was time to meet Andrea.
I rolled down the car window and spoke with Beta Paul.
He was at their border.
It was easier to ask permission for entrance.
It didn’t take long before he opened the gate and allowed my car in.
I was expecting him to search me as they did when I went here before, wanting to take Andrea away
from Caspian, but he didn’t.
.Instead, he offered to drive my car so we could reach the pack house immediately using a private route
and told me he wanted a word about Alba.
So I moved out of my seat and let him drive, all the while he talked about him and Alba.
I missed a lot.
Alba has never contacted me again since I threw them out of the territory a few months back.
But I was happy that Caspian’s Beta was taking care of her.
I congratulated him and told him that he and Alba were free to visit my territory if they wanted to.
It didn’t take long until we reached the pack house and I found myself face-to-face with Caspian and
Andrea.
I was lost for words.
Now that I was standing in front of her, I didn’t know how to start.
So I asked permission from Caspian to speak with Andrea.
I knew he might reject it, but I would understand, but fortunately, he didn’t.
He let me have a moment with Andrea alone.
He showed me again how he was a better man than I was.
I sat on the couch while Andrea chose to sit on the single sofa facing me, a center table between us.
For a moment, no one said a word.
She was looking at me while I was trying to read her.I was trying to check my feelings too if I still have something for her.
But there was nothing, just regret for all the pain I had given her.
“Why are you here, Riley?
” She broke the silence.
I let out a sigh and rested my elbows on my thighs, my hands clasped together as I looked at her in the
eyes.
“I woke up today and I told myself, it’s time to face my past so I could move on.
So I could free myself from guilt.
I know I haven’t said sorry to you yet, and I don’t know how to.
But Andrea, I want you to know that the person you saw in me for the last three years is not the real
me.
It was the person I created to prove to myself that I’m better.
You and Caspian were the victims of my self-loathing.
When Caspian came, I kept thinking about what he had that I didn’t.
It became an obsession.
Until I just found myself getting lost in it.
I wanted to be better than anyone, better than him because I didn’t like myself either.
When you left that night, I decided to move on and be a better Alpha.I left everything to the Goddess.
I let you go that night that you found out that Caspian was your mate.
I was ready to be alone.
But then the Goddess had her own plan.
I saw and met my fated mate that night, Andrea.
” A smile slowly crept into her lips.
“Nadia, right?
We’ve heard about her.
” I just nodded my head.
“But the Goddess knew how to make me pay for all my sins to you.
She gave me a mate, a wonderful female, someone who has lived her life almost the same as yours.
I heard her gasp, but she stayed silent the whole time I told her about Nadia, about her uncle, and the
men with whom she was paraded in search of the highest bidder.
“It was a slap right on my face.
For the first time, I was ashamed of what I did to you.
I had a hard time telling her about you.
It was the reason I threw you and Caspian out when you visited my territory.She was there and she knew nothing about my past with you.
I was terrified she would leave once she found out about you and what I did to you.
But she surprised me again.
She was scared of the person I was, but she gave me a chance.
” My eyes started to water, and I dropped my gaze to the floor as I blinked back the tears.
novelbin“She sounds like a lovely female.
I would love to meet her one day.
” I smiled weakly, the pain crushing my heart, “She is.
But she is no longer with me.
” “What do you mean?
I heard your people loved her.
” “I fucked up again and she left.
I pushed her away.
” “Did you try to win her back?
” I shook my head.
“Did you hurt her?
Raise a hand on her?” “No, I might be a fucked up man, but I would never raise a hand to any female, especially her.
“Then it can still be fixed.
Riley, this female is your mate.
I’m sure whatever misunderstanding you have, the love would be greater.
” “I saw her yesterday.
She looked happy.
I even wonder if she was ever that happy when she was with me.
I’m so selfish I never even bothered to ask her before if I was making her happy.
I was enjoying the happiness she was giving me so much that I failed to notice hers.
But I love her.
I love her, Andrea.
I’m willing to let her go so she can be happy.
Because I know I can’t give her that happiness she deserves.
And maybe, by doing that, I can be forgiven for all my sins.
” “You’re willing to let her go, but can you?
Riley, would you rather spend the rest of your life thinking, what if I ask forgiveness, would she take me
back?You will never know unless you ask her.
She’s the only one who knows the answer, not you, not me.
” “Tell me, Andrea, do you think I’m worth loving?
That she would choose me?
You didn’t choose me, remember?
” “Riley, look at me.
The reason I didn’t choose you is that I was meant for Caspian.
In the same way that Nadia is meant for you.
Do you think if she met Caspian, she would choose Caspian over you?
And you too.
I remember you told me that you smelled your mate that one time you visited Alpha Darvin.
Ever since that day, something in you changed.
You were slowly choosing her over me, you just didn’t want to accept it.
Nadia is meant for you, Riley.
You can end and disregard all other relationships, but not this one because she was the only person
the Goddess perfectly molded to fit with you.
And you’re foolish to just let her slip by without fighting for her.” “I don’t know if I can make her happy.
” “I’m sure you can.
You have to try.
Can you imagine seeing her with someone else?
” I closed my eyes and coiled my hands into fists.
I didn’t need to answer her.
She knew the answer already.
“See?
If you let her go, someone will come and take her away.
” “If Caspian hadn’t fought for me, I would never be this happy.
If you love her, then go fight for her.
If she tells you she doesn’t want you, then it’s time to walk away.
But as long as she didn’t, then try to win her heart.
” “You have so much faith in me.
How can you after everything I did to you?
” “Because I knew the real Riley before all of this happened.
And I want to believe that female is the best thing that has happened to your life.So don’t give up that easily.
” “Do you think I deserve a second chance?
” “Everyone does.
” I nodded my head.
“Thank you.
Andrea, I’m sorry for the last three years.
” It was too painful to say.
Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t know if I deserved her forgiveness.
“I have forgiven you the moment you helped Caspian on the full moon night.
And I know that one day the memories won’t hurt anymore.
” Tears started to fall from her eyes as her shoulders started to shake.
“I always asked the Goddess what I did wrong, but then I realized that maybe that part of my life was
not for me, but for you, so you will learn and you will grow from it.
We all have our own demons, Riley.
And your demons made me stronger.
So promise me, you will rise from this.
Be the Riley that Nadia deserves.Be the Alpha that your pack deserves.
I want both of us to come strongly from this bad part of our lives.
Can you promise me that?
” After my conversation with Andrea, I requested to speak with Caspian alone.
And although I was doubtful that he had forgiven me, he told me he had.
But we were not forcing it, and we decided it was best to let time heal all wounds.
I left their territory with a lighter load on my chest than I had this morning.
And I was thankful that I had talked to Andrea.
She made me realize that I was not ready to see Nadia with someone else.
She’s mine.
And I would do everything to win her back, even if it meant swallowing my own pride.
I dialed my Beta’s number as I drove back to my territory, but his phone was off.
Maybe he has no signal.
I waited for five minutes before trying again, but nothing.
My heart was thudding loudly and Hunter was giving me fucking bad ideas, but I tried my best not to
entertain those thoughts and pushed him to the back of my mind.
I sent a message to my Beta to call me.I was just ten minutes away from my own border when my phone pinged.
Beta Dominic: Not now, Alpha.
Give me 20 minutes.
I growled as I slammed my palm on the steering wheel and dialed his number again.
This time it rang, but he wasn’t picking it up.
What the fuck was happening?
What was he doing that was so fucking important he couldn’t pick up and answer the fucking phone?
My mind was going haywire as Hunter’s words kept ringing in my head.
No.
Nadia and my Beta were not that kinds of people.
I dialed again and this time he canceled it.
I threw my phone in the passenger seat and sped up my driving He better have a fucking good
explanation or he will never see the fucking sun again.
I was so fucking ready to drive over the border gate when one by one, the warriors manning the line
started standing in front of it with big smiles on their fucking annoying faces.
I hit the brake hard, stopping just in time before I hit Tristan because he was the one in the front.
I rolled my window down and leaned out of it.
“What the fuck are you doing there?I almost fucking hit all of you!
” I bellowed at them, but the fuckers still had big smiles on their fucking faces, and it was annoying me
more.
“Move!
” I motioned with my hand, and some of them scratched their heads, while Tristan walked beside my
window, still smiling.
“Alpha, Luna Nadia is home.
” I swallowed hard.
Did I hear him right?
“What?
” I asked, but I didn’t even hear my own voice because my fucking heart was thumping too loudly.
“Luna Nadia arrived with Beta Dominic an hour ago.
” I revved up the engine and let go of the brake pedal as I spoke.
“And no one dared to fucking call me?
” If he replied, I didn’t hear it as I was already speeding off, driving like someone was chasing me, I had
already been driving for five minutes when everything sank in.
Nadia’s here.A smile crept on my face as I slowed down a bit from my high speed and leaned my elbows against the
window, just letting the wind blow on my face and my hair.
Nadia’s here.
I can’t fuck up this time around, As soon as I reached the pack house grounds, I slammed on the
brakes and rushed towards the house, letting Hunter in my head again.
He growled at me before pointing to my office.
Nadia was there.
I took a deep breath before pushing my door open, expecting the worst but hoping for the best.
And then I saw her, standing by the window.
She must have seen me arrive through it.
I missed her, so I let my eyes feast on my beautiful mate.
She has a floral white dress that ends at mid-thigh with her hair in a tight bun, emphasizing her
prominent cheeks and her luscious lips.
in my spot just staring at her.
I was fucking My heart was beating er nd I was s scared that if I blinked she’d be gone.
“Alpha,” Gamma Sebastian’s voice brought me back to the reality that my office was fucking too
crowded at the moment.
My Beta and Gamma were here, together with Jenny.“Everyone out,” I ordered everyone without taking my gaze off of Nadia.
She was staring back at me, biting her bottom lip as she moved from her place to follow Jenny.
“Not you,” I extended my hand in her direction, motioning for her to stop.
“Stay.
” She stopped in her tracks and turned to face me, not saying anything until the door closed.
“You came back.
” I broke the silence between us.
She just nodded her head.
She was biting her bottom lip so hard that I was sure she would end up cutting her lips soon.
“Nadia… I’m sorry.
” I walked in front of her, as my eyes watered.
I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t have the right.
Instead, I dropped to my knees in front of her, something I have never done to anyone in my whole life,
but it felt too easy to do now.
“Riley, what are you doing?
” She finally spoke, and my heart did a somersault in my chest.
She was really here and not just a figment of my imagination.“I’m sorry for…” I didn’t finish my words when my ears caught another sound.
It was fucking too loud and coming out of her stomach, which was directly in front of my face.
“Nadia…” I had no idea if she already knew, but I couldn’t contain the happiness I was feeling at the
moment.
I let the tears fall from my eyes as I grabbed her waist gently and let my forehead rest on her stomach
as I closed my eyes.