Helen’s POV:
“Helen…” “Helen…”
In a trance, I seemed to hear someone calling my name. The person sounded anxious and worried as
my name was repeated again and again. My eyes snapped open and locked on George’s anxious gaze.
It took a moment for me to orient my current situation.
After blinking a few times, I finally realized that I was in bed and George had just woke me up after I fell
asleep. It had been years since I last had a nightmare. It had been so long since the last one that I had
deluded myself into thinking it would never torture me again.
But tonight, the nightmares had tormented me once again. Despite the fact that my whole body -and
even my hair- was drenched in sweat, I was burning up. I huffed for breath and tried to think past the
simultaneous heat and cold. Jane’s return was like a switch. All the nightmares I had successfully locked
away were turned back on with a vengeance.
“You have a high fever. I’ll take you to the hospital.”
Without giving me a chance to refuse, George picked me up and took me to the emergency room of the
hospital. Not that I had any strength to resist or refuse him. The fever sapped my strength at an alarming
rate and I could do nothing but let him hold me. My mind was a complete mess and I could barely think
straight.
At the hospital, George insisted that I go through several check-ups. But aside from a fever, the test
results showed that I was just fine. My fever was probably a reaction to the stress I was under. George
insisted on arranging a VIP ward for me. After infusion and tranquilizer, I finally fell asleep soundly.
When I woke up the next day, I found nothing unusual except that I was a little weak and frail. I found
George’s head on the edge of my bed as he slept soundly. When he heard the noise, he suddenly woke
up. His eyes shot to mine and a relieved smile curved his lips when he saw me. He stretched his hand
out and touched my forehead.
“Your fever is gone.” He breathed a sigh of relief.
“Thank you for last night.” I had regained my sanity, but my tone was much colder than before. It was just
Jane. It was no big deal. After I was discharged from the hospital, George drove me home. Outside my
house, George said, “You can’t go to work today. You need to rest.”
I didn’t reply and simply went inside. George followed me in and it didn’t look like he had any intention of
leaving. It seemed that he wanted to stay with me but I didn’t want to have anything to do with him
anymore.
“George, let’s end it here. We shouldn’t see each other again. You can pack up anything of yours that
you have here and take it with you when you leave. But if you don’t want to go through the trouble of
packing. I’ll do it for you and have someone bring it to your place,” I declared calmly, no hint of emotion in
my voice.
“What do you mean?” George was stunned and looked at me in confusion.
“I have made myself clear. Let’s end our relationship.” I just wanted to live a peaceful life.
The only way I would do that was if I stayed away from Jane and the people related to her. If I couldn’t
escape her, then I would at least stay far away. Ever since my father passed away, the only thing that
plagued my mind night and day had been one single question.
Had my father loved me more than he loved Jane or Jane more than me? Since he was not around to
give me an answer, the only thing I could do was dissect every single conflict Jane and I ever had since I
was a child. Dissecting the same interactions over and over in the hope for an answer that was not there
made me lose sight of myself for a very long period of time. It took a substantial amount of effort and time
for me to get rid of the trauma and live a normal life. I refused to return to that state of mind ever again.
George and Jane had known each other for so many years. They started businesses together and had
the same interests. To him, I was just a mere friend with benefit. It was apparent who was more
important in his heart. Even if he chose me over her, so what? Would Jane go away?
No!
Did I have to compete with Jane for George?
No, never!
So I chose to quit “Helen, what’s our relationship in your eyes? What am I to you?”
I had already decided to quit when I still had a chance and let everything go. But when he lobbed the
question at me, anger in his voice, my hackles rose.
“What about you? Who is more important to you? Jane or me? I have already expressed my stand
yesterday. If you can only choose one between Jane and me, who will you choose?”
“Helen, it’s different. You and Jane are different in my heart. There is no need to compare you with each
other.” I sneered.
“Different? One is your woman at home, and the other is your mistress outside?” Was it really so difficult
to make a choice?
“In that case, there is nothing to say.” I didn’t give George the chance to say anything more. I turned
around and walked into the room. I took out his clothes from the wardrobe and stuffed them into the
suitcase one after the other. I also put all his toiletries in a bag and threw them into the suitcase.
How could there be so many of his things in my apartment? He only came over once in a while. Why
were his things in every corner of my apartment? One suitcase was not enough to pack up all his things.
George followed me in and held my hand firmly to stop me.
“Helen, calm down. Let’s talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. We just slept together a few times and we were never truly together. It’s
always good to quit while ahead. So let’s end this here before either one of us suffers any real loss.” I
tried to get rid of his hold on me but he wouldn’t budge.
“So to you I’m nothing but a fuck buddy you’ve slept with a handful of times?” His deep set eyes were full
of disbelief. He gritted his teeth as he questioned me angrily.
“What do you think? Should I say that I am reluctant to part with you? Even if I tell you that, will you
believe me?” His tone stung my heart. I looked away and pointed at the almost packed.
“Please leave here, right this second.” If he really wanted our relationship to go further, he would be able
to choose between Jane and I.
The only reason I could come up with was that he didn’t like me. Or maybe he did like me, it just wasn’t
enough to choose me over Jane. In reality though, his hesitation made sense. Who would want to
choose the girl he slept with a few times over his friend and business partner of several years?
They had had each other since high school! George froze for a second, but then he opened his mouth to
say something, but I was done discussing this I picked up the suitcase and put it at the door. Then I
opened the door for hím, unwilling to stay in the same room with him for another second.
Fury burned in George’s gaze as he glared at me silently. He didn’t even look towards the suitcase as he
marched past me and stormed off into the distance, Looking at his angry receding figure, I closed my
eyes hard and held back the tears that were about to fall
There was nothing to cry about. I wanted a man who would favor me and love me wholeheartedly and
unconditionally, and who would always choose me between me and Jane without hesitation.
Thanks to my father, it had become something of an obsession for me. I couldn’t move on, nor could I
get rid of it. In that case, why did I have to make myself suffer? If George couldn’t make a choice, then
there was really no need for us to continue our relationship.
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