Chapter 10919. 19. Turmoiled Thoughts
THEON
Yilevna‘s mother was the one who killed mine... The conflict I felt inside of me had shaken me to my
core.
paced around my cabin; it had been an hour since we had found her, but I had been unable to stay in
her presence, my head was about to burst.
I looked around the room, it was too fucking small, the sway of the ship was making me sick and it
almost felt like I couldn‘t fucking breathe.
What do I do?
What the fuck do I do?
I stared at the ceiling, that was only a few inches above my head,
It was too fucking claustrophobic in here.
I threaded my hands together, placing them behind my head as I took deep breaths.
I had killed Hana and William De‘Lacor, something I regretted every single fucking day...
I know, I fucking know I no longer can take away her birth mother from her, I know what I fucking need
to do... But everything I had worked my entire fucking life for was unravelling. First from the image of reality
that Dad had portrayed, one that was beginning to hold a lot of questions and holes to the revenge I
craved... I had spent the last decade waiting for the day I’d see that monster and kill her...
She had been before me, but Yileyna had protected her and I had hesitated…
My chest was burning up from the wounds, I needed to change my bandages before anyone saw them
but I just... I couldn‘t fucking focus...
I exhaled sharply, pulling my shirt off and unwrapping the bandages that were a disgusting mess,
making my wounds itch.
I looked down, seeing the injuries were looking as bad as they did days ago. I dropped down to the
ground by the door, staring at the wall across from me as the ship swayed.
What do I do?
I felt fucking lost, every fucking thing I had worked my life for was... gone.
I closed my eyes, squeezing my head, rocking slightly as I took deep breaths.
When everything you have worked your entire fucking life for is just... gone, what do you do? 1
A knock on the door made my head snap up, but I didn‘t move. I didn‘t want to see anyone. Not when I
felt like I was going to fucking spiral.
Another knock followed but I didn‘t reply until I heard the footsteps retreating. I stood up grabbed the
bloody bandages, along with my dirty shirt, and walked to the bathroom, ready to wash off.
Night had fallen, and I had gone out briefly to tell Flynn we were to head to Eastcourt, buti nad avoided
Yileyna. I just needed to make sure Thea was ok, from there I would see what I can find out, and thenhead to Hunter‘s pack.
I needed fucking answers, or I was going to lose my fucking mind.
Yileyna... I needed to find out what she planned to do... but as relieved as I was that she was alive and
near, no matter how much I wanted to pull her into my arms and never fucking let go, I couldn‘t.
The rejection was still painful in my mind... everything that had happened... it all was fucking too
much… and on top of that her Siren mother.... her identity... Fuck, why couldn‘t it be anyone else but
her?
My mind was still reeling.
I dropped onto the bed, shirtless, the stinging had eased a little, but the wounds were still fucking
hurting. Sleep didn‘t come and I sat up, maybe I‘d pop down to the hold and get some ale or wine..?
I stood up, picking up a shirt and pulled it on, before leaving my room. Her scent lingered in the halls
and I frowned, what was she doing out here?
She had changed slightly, looking even more beautiful, although I have no fucking idea how that was
possible... Yileyna... I was unable to get how fucking appealing she looked out of my mind...
The urge to strip her naked and admire her was a temptation that would never be a reality.
There was something different about her siren form, she had looked different than others. Her tail was
far more extravagant, with her scales hanging low on her hips and dipping in a V, it had been a turn–on
in itself
But no matter how fucking good she looked, I couldn‘t face her...
It didn‘t take long to pick the lock on the door to the Hold, and I walked down the steps. I remembered the time Yileyna and I had been down here, after I had that nightmare. I opened a crate
and took out a bottle of wine. It would do nothing to ease the pain but... why not.
I bit the cork off and dropped to the floor, resting my head against the hard wall of the ship behind me.
Does it get any easier?
Was I going to feel like this for the rest of my fucking life?
Fighting against everything to a point where I no longer knew what was right and wrong.
It was hard, even harder when there was no reprieve from anything.
If anything Dad has told me turns out to be a lie… I will fucking lose it.
The door creaked open, and I opened my eyes as her familiar scent invaded my nose. A scent that I
fucking desired.
What did she want?
Her feet padded down the steps and her creamy legs came into view, clad in just an oversized shirt.
She paused at the bottom of the steps and looked towards me. Her aura radiated off her and it was far
more powerful than what it was when she had been pulled into the waters. Whatever happened down
there had given her more powers, perhaps it was her shifting into her siren form.
“I hope you don‘t mind if I join, I need to talk to you.” She spoke, her voice held a sexier edge, a little
more dangerous and a little more exotic. I wondered how it would sound if she was under me moaning
in fucking pleasure.
I could use the distraction right about now. “What do you want?” I asked as she came over and sat down next to me, stretching out her legs and
crossing her ankles gracefully.
I tried not to look at her flawless thighs, taking a swig from my bottle instead.
“So...” She began softly.
I knew she wanted to talk about it, but was there any point?
I remained silent, letting her carry on if she so wished.
“Deliana was the one who killed your mother and sister... I‘m sorry... and I‘m not trying to justify her
actions, but it‘s because of the king... He tried to kill her in her sleep.”
I froze, looking at her sharply. Her cheekbones were more prominent, and she looked a little older, as if
she had shed the last remnants of the girl she once used to be...
“What do you mean tried to kill her?” I asked for the sake of entertaining her, or maybe because I
needed a reason to justify not killing her.
Something other than her being Yileyna‘s mother.
She took a deep shaky breath and began telling me the version that Andres had not told me...
A few minutes later we sat in silence as I pondered over everything.
So he literally used the Siren, who had obviously been his fated mate considering they made the Heart
of Kaeladia, and then when he was done, he tried to kill her..? Her anger was justified… wasn‘t it what
we all did?
“Say something, please.” She said quietly. “There‘s nothing to say, she‘s no different than me, Dad... or Andres. We are all hurting so many others
in the name of revenge, to justify our own fucking actions.” I murmured quietly, looking at her. Her
iridescent eyes seemed to be fixed and they drew my attention; purple, pink, blue yellow and green
blended together, more vibrant than I had ever seen them before.
Concern was clear on her face and her rejection came back to mind... She was made for me, but I was
far too fucked to keep her.
Her chest heaved as she licked her lips, her gaze flickering to mine before she looked away.
But I didn‘t miss the look in her eyes.
“I want that to change, we can‘t keep going on like this Theon... it‘s a vicious cycle. The King apparently
betrayed your father, I‘m saying apparently because he too seems like a monster, whether you agree or
not. The king also betrayed Deliana, forcing her to want vengeance on all Alpha males, and in the
process she killed your mother and sister, which was so wrong... and now you want to kill”
“What?” I asked sharply, something she said making my heart thud.
She frowned before her face paled and I knew I was right.
“What is it?” She asked, trying to brush it off. My eyes flashed as I grabbed her neck, pulling her close.
“What did you just say about the siren?” I whispered menacingly. “Repeat it.”
“She... she attacked the ship because she smelt an Alpha male on board.” She whispered, her eyes
looking pained.
There. Navig@te back to th€ roots of thïš substance at n0v^lebookShe said it.
She came for me. If I hadn’t been there, they wouldn‘t have died.
Fuck, it was my fucking fault.
“Theon. Stop it.” She said, gripping my wrist and pulling my hand away from her throat. “Theon, look at
me.
Her alpha aura unknowingly rolled into her command, but it didn‘t work on me, I was an Alpha too.
I looked at my hand, staring at my palm.
Maybe I was the one behind it all, with enough fucking bad luck that I constantly hurt those around
me…
Everyone.
Mom.... Thalia... Yileyna... Even the Beta couple who had done no fucking wrong, yet l
“Theon!” She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I turned to look at her, doing my best to contain my
emotions.
“I killed your parents, you should stay away from me.” I warned her quietly as I stood up, downing the
last drops in the bottle. She stood up, blocking my path.
“And that‘s something I won‘t forget... but this isn‘t about me and you. Theon, there‘s so much more
going than you think, and I need you by my side, the side of truth and what‘s right.”
I frowned, looking down at her. “News flash, the Obsidian Shadow pack is looking for you.”
“But I know you tried to protect me... You led them away so I could get away. Theon, your father.... he‘s
stuck in his ways, just like the King, but Theon... you are the heir to the Obsidian Shadow pack, and
despite everything you have done, I have seen the good in you... Can we not put aside everything and
work together, as allies?”
This wasn‘t what I was expecting her to say.
I frowned, stepping closer, and tossing the bottle to the ground.
“Do you really think there‘s good in me? Or have you forgotten that I betrayed you all? I murdered your
parents, I‘m no fucking angel, Yileyna.”
“I know you aren‘t, I said there‘s good in you. Whether you believe me or not, I don‘t believe we have
the full story of what really happened between Theoden and King Andres.” She replied, staring back at
me squarely.
We wanted the same fucking thing… but how do I fucking survive around you when all I want is to fuck
you into damnation?
Being around her was painful, far more than the wounds she had inflicted upon me…
I tilted my head, taking hold of her chin as I leaned down.
“But the question is; can you be around the man who killed your parents without it causing you pain?” |
asked coldly.
Her eyes filled with grief, and she wrapped her hand around my wrist as she stared back at me. “It will always hurt... but like I said; it‘s not about you and I... Theon, we are in far more danger than we
imagined, it‘s not just about Westerfell and the throne of Astalion. The Imperial Emperor of the Sea is
march onto land and destroy us all. He‘s given me two full moons to find something and return it to him,
and if I don‘t, then he will attack with two thousand imperial sirens who can walk the land. If that
happens, we will be ruined.” She confessed, her words weighted with the consequences of what the
future may hold.
Her words echoed in my head, and as much as I didn‘t think that could be a possibility, the conviction
in
her eyes said otherwise.
“Time is running out Theon, I need to get to the Naran Empire and find this pearl the Emperor wants,
but if you‘re here to take me back to Westerfell then you have another thing coming. I won‘t go. This
isn‘t just about being the ruler of the middle kingdom, there is so much more at stake. If you don‘t want
to help me, will you let me go without a fight?” She whispered.
Her breasts brushed against my forearm as I still held on to her, even when we were talking about such
a serious matter. I couldn‘t stop the desire and hunger I felt for her consuming my body and mind.
I wanted to throw her up against the wall and fuck her right here.
“Venturing to a Naga empire is equal to suicide, you won‘t get far.” I replied frowning. “You may be a
goddess, in all aspects, but you are not fucking immortal, do you really have a death wish?”
I wouldn‘t let her go to Naran, not alone.
“I don‘t have anyone that I can turn to, I‘ll be fine.” She replied icily, her eyes changing to that beautiful
iridescent mix of colours as she glared at me. I was not going to let her go alone... Does that mean I was willing to go with her?
“Fine. I‘ll go with you, I need to go towards that side anyway... But if I help you, what do I get in return?”
|| asked huskily
“What do you want?”
You. To kiss you. To fuck you. To call you mine... for one fucking chance... The world could go to hell as
long as I had her, I didn‘t care... but above all; I wanted her forgiveness... Forgiveness for killing her
loved ones... to turn back time and change that plan... but I couldn‘t force her to forgive me, and as
much as I wanted to ask for so much, I didn‘t. 2
This would be my silent redemption, even though nothing could change the past, I would help her
because I owed her, and right now, she was the only one being entirely honest with me. She didn‘t
need to tell me about this pearl, or Naran, but she did...
“What do you want in return, Theon?” She persisted softly, her heart pounding as she stared into my
eyes with a glimmer of fear and uncertainty.
Did she think I‘d blackmail her into something? I wanted her happy... I wanted to see her smile, I
wanted that innocence she had held before I broke her, to return.
I leaned into her ear, her scent washing over me, and it took my fucking all not to yank her close. My
voice dropped to a whisper as I gave her my answer.
“Nothing.” 8
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