48. Love & Thoughts
THEON
Last night still replayed in my mind, and although another day had come and gone, I couldn’t bring
myself to return to the cabin. It had felt too… intimate. Against my better instincts, I had been unable to
hurt her by walking out. That in itself should be warning enough for me. She was having an effect on
me, far more than she should. I should have walked out last night, but seeing the hurt in her eyes…
Fuck I wish I could say it was how ravishing she looked that made me stay, but it wasn’t.
I didn’t want to see tears in her eyes, unless, of course, they were caused by when we were getting
physical… Just the thought of her naked body made my dick twitch. Was I falling for her?
Was I even capable of that? I had spent years trying to squash all my feelings, so why was she able to
break the impenetrable shield I had placed around myself?
“Here you go, handsome.” The blonde who had just placed a fresh tankard in front of me said in a flirty
tone.
I cast her a cold glare, not bothering to even spare her a word.
That was another issue. I was someone who had no shame in admitting that I didn’t mind admiring a
sexy body when I saw one, but that was until Yileyna came into the picture…
I wasn’t the only one who thought so. She was the most talked-about woman, especially among the
epsilon ranked warriors. When they were drunk or unmated, I have heard enough about her. There was
no such thing as getting enough when it came to Yileyna.
I closed my eyes, trying to control my anger that was beginning to rise.
I had loved once…but it had been different than what I have with Yileyna. I always put it down to simply
desiring her, but last night my actions proved that wasn’t the case.
I picked up the tankard, gulping it down in one go and slamming the empty tankard onto the table.
Yileyna… What will happen when she learns the truth? Was there a part of her that would side with
me? Will she forgive me for what I have done? Do I care?
‘I love you.Her words rang in my mind, and I almost believed them, even if I knew she was just
delusional Iyara…
The music in the tavern faded away as my mind went back to the young girl I had once opened my
heart to…
“I’ve shifted now. Are you excited for the full moon tonight? Do you think maybe we are mates?”
“Does it matter?” I asked, looking up into her chocolate-coloured eyes as she straddled me.
The sun was shining brightly as I lay on the grass, arms behind my head. Her dark hair bounced
around her in pretty curls. She was tall and slender, with a toned body and beautiful ebony skin. The
daughter of one of our strongest warriors. I wasn’t sure how we ended up talking, but it became
something more. We hadn’t taken the final step… but I think it was only a matter of time before she
gave herself to me.
“Not really… I think it’s better… if we’re not mates?” She mused, looking up at the sky. She was
gorgeous. Right now the way the sun was shining on her… Fuck, she needed to get off of me.
I sat up, pushing her off lightly.
“Yeah?” I said, not looking at her as her eyes filled with concern.
“Yes, and the only reason I’m saying that is because if something were to happen to me, I don’t want
you to die.” She whispered, twisting her fingers in her lap.
I smirked, looking over at her.
“Yeah, and do you think if I took you as my mate that I’d let anything happen to you?”
The smile that lit up her face took my breath away, and I was unable to stop myself from giving her a
small smile of my own…
I frowned remembering how we didn’t end up being mates, but she confessed her love once more.
That night when she gave herself to me… I realised I couldn’t do it. She was far too innocent for what I
was planning to do… I took her first time, but then I walked away, telling her that it had been a mistake.
I broke her that night… but I had stayed away after that, cutting off all contact with her.
Why couldn’t I do it with Yileyna? Was it because she wasn’t as innocent and gentle as Iyara? Was it
because no matter how rough or twisted I became, there was no fear in her sinful eyes? She craved
more… She welcomed my anger and rage… almost as if she was the perfect match…
The door slamming open and the sound of loud talking made me glance towards it, only to see Nikolai,
Kyson, and a few of their cronies enter. A blistering flare of anger rushed through me, remembering
what they had done to Yileyna. I wasn’t one to forget my enemies… Nikolai and Kyson would be the
first I’d kill when the time came.
“Sana! ‘The usual, beautiful!” Nikolai called out, blowing a kiss at one of the women.
I lifted my empty tankard and instantly one of the women was at my side, filling it up for me.
“Can I get you anything else, Sir Theon?” She asked.
“No.” I replied coldly as Nikolai and his group took a seat at the only table they could find in this
crowded place. A table that was right in front of me, I think it was time I got out of here. I picked up my
newly filled tankard when Nikolai spoke.
“Rumours are going around Beta to be Theon, that you have taken the traitors’ daughter as your
whore.”
Our eyes met, his smirk faltered when he sensed the murderous intent in my gaze.
I wanted to vent my frustration and it looks like I just found my distraction.
“I’ve given the warning time and fucking time again, yet it’s obvious that it’s not getting through to you.”
I replied coldly. And as much as I wanted to rip him limb from limb right now, I had to wait. I couldn’t
ruin my mission because of my anger. I stood up, dropping a few coins on the table, and walked over to
Nikolai. I grabbed him by the scruff of his collar, his smirk vanishing as the other men around him
tensed.
“Yileyna De’Lacor is not my whore but my woman, and possibly your future beta female. So make sure
you learn to respect her. Do you know the punishment for disrespecting your superiors, Levin?” I
hissed, twisting my hand and tightening the fabric around his neck viciously, cutting off his oxygen
supply.
I knew this would only give birth to more rumours, but I’d had enough.
He grabbed my wrist, as he struggled to get free from my hold.
“Let him go!” Kyson growled, so I turned my murderous glare on him.
He looked away, and I slammed Nikolai back violently, knocking his chair onto the ground, his head hit
the floor with a satisfying crunch.
The smell of blood filled the air. He groaned in pain.
“I hate repeating myself, but I’ll do it this one fucking time. Disrespecting Yileyna means disrespecting
me, and I don’t tolerate any kind of disrespect. Do I make myself clear?”
Silence and the beating of several hearts followed.
I fucking thought so. Turning, I left the Three Horseman’s Tavern, glancing up at the night sky.I hoped
he got my message soon, I needed to meet him before we take our next step…
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