Accidental Surrogate -The Cost Ella
My internal screaming continues, echoing through me as I grab whatever bond I
have to my Goddess mother and pull on it as hard as I can –
And I’m still screaming, there, in my mind and honestly maybe from my throat as
well, I’m too far beyond myself now to know – when suddenly…
…She’s here.
My mother’s presence materializes first in my mind as she reaches for me,
worried.
“Ella!” I hear her say, her voice chiming against my own frantic screams, “Ella, I
am here!”
Shocked shocked to feel her, shocked that it worked – I find myself thrown out
of my meditative state and into my own body, which is still freezing cold. But
when my eyes fly open I gasp to see that she’s She’s actually here. Not just present in my mind – but
standing before me. And
as I blink frantically, letting my eyes adjust, I realize that she’s not… physically
here. Not in the way she was when we met her in the desert. But she’s here in
her spirit – she presents herself before me in an echo of her true form, a
glowing, beautiful specter that reaches her hands out towards me.
“Mother!” I gasp. “Mom please – I need my baby – please release me -”
“Ella,” she says, coming forward and reaching for me, though her hands can’t
quite touch my face. I feel her, though something about her touch tingles against
my cheeks as she tries and fails to take my face in her hands. ” I don’t
understand, child – I don’t know what’s happening -”
And then I’m sobbing, looking up at her, desperate for her to know but so cold
now so incredibly cold – and unable to find the words to express it all-
“Close your eyes, darling,” she murmurs, looking down at me with her beautiful,
glowing face. “Show me.”
And I do. I press my eyes shut and, sobbing, I press my thoughts – my
memories – my fears – my ideas everything forward towards her. And I hear her
gasp at first in shock, and then coo with understanding. –
“All right, Ella,” she says softly, and I open my eyes again to see her shaking her
head at me. “Your gift is bound, my love and I cannot – ”
“Please, mother!” I sob, looking up at her in desperation. “Do something melt
this ice, unbind my gift – go out go out and kill her just something my baby!”
I see her grief on the goddess’s face, her desire to help as well as her
hesitation. We are from different realms – I know she is bound by rules different
than me – but I can’t believe that there’s not something she can do.
Suddenly, her face goes grim. “Once, Ella,” she says, her face hard. “There is a
way that I can interfere physically in your world once in your life. And I will never,
ever be able to do it again. Are you sure that you want it to be now?”
“Yes!” I gasp, desperate. There is nothing else – – no other situation that I could
imagine that could be worse – ” Please, mother, please.”
“There is a price,” she says, looking clearly into my eyes. “You will…not be able
to call upon me again. Ever, Ella. It is the last time we will speak outside of one
of my temples.”
And I gasp as I look up at her, as I realize that the price for this magic is…. our
bond. She looks steadily down into my eyes as she nods, realizing that I
understand.
“It is worth it, child,” she says softly to me. “I just wanted you to know what the
cost was, so you could save your son.”
I stare at her, knowing I should think about it more – that I should hesitate a
little But no part of me does. Sharply, I nod. I let her know that I know the price, and
though it breaks my heart – I accept it.
“All right, darling,” she murmurs and then she leans forward and presses her lips
against my forehead. “It will be all right.” And for a moment the press of her kiss
against my forehead feels the same as her hands against my face –
just a slight tingle until, slowly, her lips grow warm and corporeal against my
skin.
I gasp as I feel my wolf come howling back to me, her teeth ripping and
gnashing inside me at the injustice done to her, in her eagerness to get out of
here, to help our baby –
I look up at my mother, then – knowing it is done – knowing that she has used
the magic of our bond to unbind my wolf and her gift. And in its unbinding, our
connection has been… used up.
“I love you, Ella,” she says as she begins to fade from my sight. “You will always
have a piece of me,” she says, reaching out hand to point towards my chest,
where her gift grows warm. “Use it well.”
And then, quite suddenly, she is gone.
And I blink back to myself realizing that That even though that felt like a few long minutes with my
mother, only seconds
have passed –
And that I have to get to my son. Now. So I reach within myself, accessing the
gift burning now, hot within me. And I hold onto it, and access its strength, and
let it burn through me – through my mind, my heart, my skin And all around me
the ice begins to melt.
Sinclair
My brother lets out a roar of rage, dashing away from Hank who sits limp on the
ground outside the clinic, holding his head in agony.
But I’m already on the move, shifting into my wolf and bellowing in pain as I do
so, as the wounds on my skin stretch horribly, as I feel my inner organs shift into
my wolf form and the injuries in them scream in protest against it. But I’m in full
panic now, running on fear and adrenaline, pushing myself to go after my son
even though my body screams in my mind to stop –
That it can’t But I ignore it, forcing myself forward beyond the pain, sprinting towards the
priestess who carries my son. She’s locked in my sight now, her form growing
continually larger as I stream towards her, as I ignore my pain and hurl my body
into the chase.
I see the moment that she hears me – she her hesitate in her steps, turn Her eyes go wide with horror
as I pull together my last bit of will and leap for her.
I can see the knowledge of her death on her face as she turns towards me,
clutching the baby to her in fear as I slam my paws into her shoulders, hurling
her backwards Her scream rips through the air as she falls, but the instant she looses her
balance I reach with my teeth for the little bundle held in her arms, desperate to
reach him –
And as she careens for the ground under the weight of my paws my incisors
clench in the fabric of Rafe’s pajama set – the clothes I dressed him in this
morning with my own hands pulling him from her arms as she slams into the
ground. My body crashes, hard, on top of the priestess, but I hold Rafe up by
arching my neck as far as it will go –
And he doesn’t touch her, or the ground he just dangles, screaming, held up by
the safety of my teeth. I transform in an instant, reaching for him as I roll away
from the priestess, groaning with pain but clutching my little boy safe against my
chest –
I can’t see, for the pain – I’m gasping, wincing with every passing breath –
Some part of me is aware that Roger is here now – that he chased after me in
his wolf’s body, that he was only a step behind –
And I hear him in action now as he tears at the priestess, as he rips at her throat
and her face, ensuring that she’s dead – beyond dead, if he can – sent straight
to hell –
But I don’t watch can’t. All of my energy goes to staying conscious, to holding
my little boy tight against me so that he’s safe while I struggle for breath.
“Dominic!” I hear Roger panting beside me and then I feel his hands on my
shoulders, on my skin – but I can barely register it, feeling myself slip away from
the world. “Dominic!” he shouts now, shaking me, cursing frantically.
“Baby,” I murmur, trying to hold Rafe out to his uncle. “Take…the baby.” But
even I know that my words don’t make any sense, that I can’t get them out.
Still, he understands. I feel Rafe lifted from me and I open my eyes just a little to
see Roger standing up with him, tucking him safe against his arm. “I’ll be right
back, Dominic,” he snarls, fierce in his determination to save me. But can I even
be saved?
Everything feels…so far.
“I’ll be right back!”
Then he’s gone, and my son with him, and I’m alone here, staring up at the dark
sky. And as I watch, the stars slowly start to blink out.
And everything fades to black
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