Chapter 60: Its Fine If It Is You
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"You want… to be with me? But… it has only been a few days and I am an ugly dragon… I mean, I am a monster… Why do want to be with me?" I asked.
"That's… I just want to… Y-You're not a monster… you're a dragon! It's different… And you're not wild either, you're a gentle person… you reminded me of family," said Benladann.
"Family…?" I asked.
"Family… I… It is what makes me happy," said Benladann.
Ah… By the Gods, this girl is… way too much for me to handle. I thank my race to have a stiff and expressionless face, or I would be blushing right now.
"You don't want to be with me? I felt like… sticking with you…" said Benladann.
"Really? Are you… being sincere?" I asked her.
"Yeah… Why not? You're even taking care of me… Why would I even not be sincere?" she asked.
"Oh… Well… That's… I guess it is okay if you want it so badly! I can't help it…" I said.
"Eh? Really? Are you okay with me? Even if I am… a crazy girl with weird mold?" she asked.
"Crazy girl…?" I asked.
"Ah… F-Forget about that…" sighed Benladann.
Why does she consider herself "crazy"?
Hm, that must be some big mental trauma there…
But well, let's go one step at a time, shall we?
"Yeah, I am fine too… That's what you wanted to hear? I said it…" I said.
"I never thought I would have a dragon friend before… Thank you, Drake…" said Benladann.
Friend… A friend.
I made a friend…
"Don't mind it…" I said, averting my gaze from her hypnotizing golden eyes.
"So… Why did you consider yourself a loser, Drake? I don't think you're a loser… I think you're pretty awesome…" said Benladann.
"Eh… Well, I was a loser. I never went out, I didn't like to interact with people outside my house, and I worked at home doing programing and stuff… I just didn't like to be in the outside world… people called me a loser due to that," I said.
I noticed as Benladann glare intensified.
"T-That's not really bad! They are just bad people!" she said, as I noticed a few tears surging on her eyes…
"Eh? Okay, I got over that already, calm down…" I said, petting her a bit.
"I don't think you're a loser… not now… nor before… I wish I could have a life like that… Normal people often are not aware that there are always… worse cases…" she sighed.
"Okay, okay, don't get too much over it… And I know! I am actually a pretty big winner now! Look at me and my size! I am just a big ice dragon! Who would even find me a loser anymore? Heh…" I said. I tried to look prideful so she would stop pitying me, I don't really like that.
Benladann glanced at the floor, her hands, and then back at me.
"I see… I can tell that you didn't have an easy first life either…" she said.
Ah! Girl, do you need to always hit in just the weakest spots?!
"That's… how things are I guess," I said, shrugging it off. It wasn't a particularly bad life, I was kind of fine.
"But how… how come you became… an ice dragon if you were a person before?" she asked.
"Hm… W-Well… This might sound stupid, so bear with me… I died… in an avalanche…" I said.
"Eh?! That's horrible! How would that sound stupid?" she asked.
"Oh… Well, it is stupid because when the voice spoke I wished all kinds of stupid stuff like ice immunity… and then a fitting body ended on this, a dragon… An ice dragon to be specific," I said.
"I see… So you also were granted wishes based on what you were desiring at that moment… But when we are about to die our minds are not really… quite clear about everything… It is very hard to actually wish for things that could benefit us… Through that, I ended bringing… the mold here… Which is more like a curse than an ability that can help me…" sighed Benladann.
I could feel that the moment she mentioned that, her eyes seemed to become devoid of light… the traumas weighing this girl's mind are enormous, more than even I could bear.
Whatever has she gone through… it is not something normal. Not something that a normal person would be able to bear…
And even now, after seeing her getting so well… I can tell that she is trying to strive forward even after everything.
She is strong.
"You're strong, Benladann…" I said.
"Eh? Strong… Me?" she asked.
"Hm. I can tell it, just by looking directly at your eyes… you have gone through a lot, haven't you?" I asked.
Benladann eyes suddenly became teary, as her lips started to tremble. She glanced at the floor, at her hands, as they began to tremble.
"H-How can you tell? I am… that easy to read?" she wondered.
"Erm… No. I just have a thing for this…" I said.
"Oh… Well… I have… gone through some… things. I suppose…" she sighed.
"That's why you're strong," I said, glancing at her eyes.
"Ah…"
"Because even after everything you've gone through… You're still here now. You're still trying to survive. I can see within your eyes. There's still a spark of life, a spark of hope. I wish… I could be that strong…" I said.
"D-Don't say such things…" she sighed.
"Ah, sorry… Maybe it was discomforting? I apologize... I got carried away, I shouldn't treat you like that…" I sighed.
"N-No… I didn't mean… I like it… it's just… makes me embarrassed…" sighed Benladann.
"Embarrassed? From me? I am just a dragon…" I said.
"S-So what? Y-You're still a man… praising me so much… It is… embarrassing!" she said, as she blushed like a tomato and averted her gaze from me.
A man… Well, I guess I am a man, I know already that I am a male dragon.
But I never saw myself as a "man" by itself, a person.
I just saw myself as a dragon.
But I guess… I am a man too.
"Sorry about that then… I will try to not embarrass you anymore," I said.
"N-No… It is fine… If it is you… I guess it is fine…" she said timidly approaching me and hugging my dragon arm.
"It is fine if it's you…" she said again.
Ah… I think I skipped a beat.
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