Chapter 1685 Yuki's New Resolve
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As Yuki tried to concentrate and meditate even amidst this chaotic war, her mind dived into the depths of her very soul. In there, the two divine beast spirits, guided her through an ocean, this ocean which seemed never-ending was the representation of her powers, which were chaotic, swirling around, and never concentrating.
"This sea represents what you truly are, the power of your soul," the phoenix said. "It is chaotic and untamable; your mind and your soul are not completely synchronized."
"But why? Why are things like this?" sighed Yuki. "And what can I do to fix this?"
"To properly reach a state of inner peace, you would first need several years of meditation and contemplation of the world and everything in it," the tiger said. "Despite being a fragment of the soul of our goddess, her memories are almost not present, and you're a completely different being altogether."
"You were reborn as a pitiful creature, that was taken care by the Dragon King, the very reason you're still alive is thanks to him…" sighed the phoenix.
"Wow, thanks for saying such inspiring words…" Yuki sighed. "I… I wish I wouldn't have been born as I was, okay? Perhaps the very reason I evolved into my humanoid appearance, and everything else, was because deep down, I really just wanted to be different."
"Master…"
"I hated being what I was, since the moment I was born that I found others strange, my own kind, my own father… It was all twisted, I didn't identify myself as a beast," Yuki sighed. "And perhaps that's why I stuck to Drake when I met him, the reason I wanted his protection, and to be around him… It was because he was like me, a beast, but smart. We understood each other…"
"To deny your original nature… I don't think that's the correct way either," the phoenix said.
"What?"
"Indeed, what you were born as is what defines you as a person now, master… It is hard for us to admit it, but Goddess Amaterasu is long dead, and you shouldn't… really carry the responsibility of becoming like her either," the tiger sighed.
"You guys…"
"We wanted to apologize… We've been thinking this for a while now," the frost phoenix said. "We thought that you might be able to take upon her place, but after closer inspection, we realized that we couldn't truly give such a responsibility to you, someone completely different."
"Eh?"
"Besides… You're in a different world, to even fathom to tell you to go to another, even after what has happened to our own, is extremely selfish…" sighed the tiger.
"That's… I guess you're not wrong, but I still liked feeling special, for once in my entire life," Yuki said, as the waves of her soul ocean washed her away. "We've realized even before that, that you're already quite special, Yuki," said the white tiger. "Even before we meet, analyzing what you've done, and as the Dragon King's first ever companion…"
"Despite your upbringing and everything, you're incredibly special already," the phoenix nodded.
"I'm special… even before you guys showed up?" Yuki wondered. "But… Hahh… Even then, what can I do? I am so neurotic, I can't even get ahold of my powers."
"That flaw of yours is because of your own stubbornness to not accept who you truly are," said the phoenix.
"We've been looking after you for a while now, Yuki, we know these things more than you can imagine…" said the white tiger. "If anything, you've inherited one trait from our Goddess, and that was her often nervous demeanor. So we are quite experienced when dealing with such things."
"Hmmm…" Yuki didn't answer, without the will to answer.
"Before trying to use your powers, you must first consider where they came from, and what is their purpose and origins."
"Please, be thoughtful, and remember where you came from, and what you've become now, because to us, it is quite clear that you've come a long way, and there's no reason to not be prideful about it."
"…"
As she slowly sank into the depths of her Soul Ocean, Yuki glanced at her own hands.
The humanoid hands of a beast-kin, the being she had become.
She had long and sharp claws, and white fur growing over her hands, and a few scales as well.
Yuki often times thought herself as a freak of nature, something weird nobody cared for or wanted to give any sort of attention.
Even with Drake's friendship, she felt slightly thrown to the side when Benladann appeared, and when he made a big family.
He often times wished he would have also loved her, but things were different, she didn't even love him either, she just craved that love.
Perhaps to fill her own hollowness…
"Where I came from…"
The fur of her original appearance, born as a little creature, a beast-type monster known as Frost Rat Monkeys, small and cute, they live in the frost pine tree forests of Jotunheim.
They feed off the trees' fruits and could sometimes evolve into giant Frost Gorillas if they grew strong enough.
They were foragers and often worked on big groups, yet Yuki separated herself from her pack since a young age, always living alone.
Her sharp claws helped her climb trees, her white and fluffy fur helped her blend in with the snow and to protect her from the cold, her long tail helped her balance herself around the canopy of the forests, and her big eyes and keen smell senses helped her find food easily.
She could still remember those days, of how lonely she felt, and how… primal she also felt, her animalistic instincts always taking over, smelling the air, finding fruits, surviving, sleeping…
These feelings, this origin that made her so unique, and that she also didn't want to accept…
Then the scales, a gift from her best friend, from her master and a father figure, Drake. He feed her his own dragon blood to make her stronger.
These scales, her long tail, even her horns and sharper claws, are gifts, making her tougher and stronger than any member of her kind.
And then… her feminine, humanoid appearance.
A wish she had to become a cute girl, a woman…
Perhaps a lingering emotion, a desire from her previous life.
These three aspects were what made Yuki who she was now.
"Maybe… it's okay to be myself?"
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