Chapter 45: Chapter 45.
Chapter 45.
Shin Kim could smell a faint pine tree scent on Woojin’s neck. Shin asked, “Assistant Manager Choi, why are you here?”
Woojin was still in his arms and when Shin touched Woojin’s coat; it felt very cold. Shin quickly pressed the passcode and opened the entrance to his condo. Shin said in frustration, “Just how long have you been waiting here?”
Angrily, Shin pulled Woojin into the building. He massaged Woojin’s hands, but they seemed to remain cold. Shin blew warm air onto Woojin’s hands. When Woojin giggled because he felt ticklish, Shin replied in annoyance, “How can you laugh in this situation? What if you catch a cold?”
The elevator arrived and Shin pulled Woojin into his arms again as they entered. Thankfully, the elevator and hallway were empty. Woojin looked up at Shin before leaning against him. Shin said quietly, “You are acting a bit differently.”
“…”
“Hmm… Strange.”
Shin smiled and pushed back Woojin’s hair. Woojin leaned onto Shin’s hand like a cat. Woojin seemed to be unusually affectionate today, so Shin looked at him closely with his eyes narrowed. Woojin’s cheeks seemed a bit red.
Shin asked, “Did… you drink tonight?”
“…”
“Please answer.”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes. A lot. Lots.”
Woojin smiled adorably, and Shin stared in surprise. The elevator door opened to his floor, but Shin didn’t even notice. They drank together before, but Woojin didn’t act this way the last time. He looked so… cute that Shin couldn’t help but smile as well.
When Shin remained bemused, it was Woojin who pulled him out of the elevator.
“Let’s get out.”
Shin’s heart pounded wildly. He hadn’t realized it before, but apparently, Shin was the type that would fall head over heels in love.
If he was with the right person, of course.
Shin had dated plenty before, but he guessed that this must be what real love felt like. Shin pressed the passcode quickly to his condo and opened the door.
The bright orange light from the entrance shone on them.
Woojin frowned and complained, “That light hurts my eyes.”
Shin looked down at him again. Until now, it had been very difficult to tell what Woojin was thinking or feeling. But Woojin’s face looked different tonight. It was clear to see his feelings. Right now, he looked annoyed by the bright light. Even his annoyed look was sexy.
Shin murmured for Woojin to take his shoes off. Woojin smiled widely and nodded.
He was too cute.
Shin asked, “Just how much did you drink?”
“I thought I told you… I drank a lot.”
Shin took his coat off and turned to look at Woojin again.
“Assistant Manager Woojin, are you laughing again?”
“Maybe.”
“… You are driving me nuts.”
Shin hung up his coat and handed Woojin, who was taking his jacket off as well, a coat hanger. Shin hung Woojin’s coat as well and pulled him closer into a hug. Shin whispered, “I wonder why you drank so much.”
“…”
“Did something upsetting happen?”
“…”
Woojin shook his head. He just buried his head on Shin’s chest and breathed in deeply. Woojin’s body was still cold, but his breath was hot as he exhaled onto Shin’s chest.
Early on, Shin learned that Woojin had very shallow breaths. When Shin first saw Woojin sleep, he was afraid Woojin wasn’t breathing. He almost thought he should put his finger underneath Woojin’s nose to check if he was breathing.
Woojin suddenly left Shin’s arms and walked to the living room. He saw down on the sofa and closed his eyes. He patted the seat next to him expectantly.
Without a word, Shin walked to the living room as well and sat next to him. Woojin finally opened his eyes and held Shin’s hand.
Woojin’s cold hands and Shin’s warm hands…
Woojin finally replied to Shin, “Because I always am upset.”
“…”
“I’m upset all the time that I don’t think I know what upset means anymore.”
In a breathy voice, Woojin continued, “Shin…”
“…”
“I was so worried that you wouldn’t date me. But you agreed to it…”
It looked like there was a small smile on Woojin’s face as he continued, “Thank you for being with me.”
Shin held Woojin’s chin gently, afraid he might hurt him.
Shin replied, “It should be me who should thank you for asking me out.”
Shin smiled lightly, but then frowned as he added, “But you shouldn’t drink so much with another man.”
“…”
“I get jealous.”
“YOU get jealous, Shin?”
“Always.”
“Me… too…”
Shin looked at Woojin in surprise. Why would Woojin get jealous? About what?
Shin asked, “Why are you jealous?”
“You are too nice.”
“What?”
“You are always with Chief Seulgi Kim…”
“Huh?”
“With Miss Yeonwoo Ji too…”
“…”
“And also that guy you were with tonight…”
Suddenly, Shin covered Woojin’s lips with his hand. Woojin’s eyes widened and embarrassedly, Shin looked away and replied, “You need to stop.”
“Are you angry?”
“…”
“Was I being unreasonable?”
“No… I just felt like I would die of embarrassment if I continue to hear this.”
Shin hid his neck, fearing that it had turned red.
Just how adorable could Woojin be? Shin remembered Siwoo telling him that being pretty or handsome didn’t last forever, but being cute… That was a different story. At the time, Shin couldn’t understand him, but now he did.
Shin continued, “I won’t tell you not to drink again, but you need to promise me you will show this cute side to only me.” Shin tucked Woojin’s hair back and asked, “So tell me. Why are you always so upset?”
“…”
“You are drunk, so you might as well tell me.”
Woojin’s eyes deepened.
Liking someone could happen quite suddenly, but losing your heart to someone… It happened slowly, like a drop of ink spreading throughout the ocean.
For some reason, being with Woojin reminded Shin of when he took his first swim lesson. The water engulfing him, hugging him, slowly… The initial drop followed by the feeling of floating… The excitement of it all…
Woojin finally opened his mouth to answer, “I have always been upset.”
“…”
“My father was rarely home, and my mother was too in love with him.”
“… I see.”
“She loved him very much, but I don’t think my mother loved me.”
Woojin’s voice sounded indifferent, but his lips looked rigid. Seeing his dry eyes, Shin felt unhappy. Woojin continued, “But you know what? I was never interested in being loved, but now I know what it feels like, and it’s nice.”
“…”
“Maybe it doesn’t mean much to you, but…”
Woojin looked up at him and blinked a few times, Shin rubbed Woojin’s cheeks and hugged him tightly. Woojin’s hot yet cold breaths touched Shin’s shoulders, chest, and arms.
Shin replied, “You can complain to me all you want. Tell me anything you want to unload.”
“…”
“You can cry too if you want.”
Shin patted Woojin’s head as he remembered a conversation with Siwoo from a long time ago.
Siwoo asked, “You don’t have people around you that put up emotional barriers, do you?”
“… Barriers?”
“You know, those people who don’t like to socialize.”
“Nope. Of course not. They are very hard to deal with.”
“Do you know why they are so hard?”
“…”
“When those people lose their walls, it doesn’t happen slowly. It happens very suddenly, all at once, and when that happens, you need to be responsible for them.”
“…”
“That’s why they are hard and scary.”
“…”
“And you know what, Shin? You are one of those people, you idiot!”
Remembering the conversation, Shin tightened his embrace around Woojin. Even from the beginning, he had a feeling that it wouldn’t be easy to let Woojin go. And now, he knew for certain that his guess was correct.
Shin could no longer let Woojin go. He also couldn’t leave Woojin alone. This sticky achy feeling… It filled Shin’s heart.