Chapter 52: Story 5- Chapter 52.
Jihoon asked Woojin as they entered the office basement parking lot, “What about lunch?”
“I have plans.”
They had plenty of time to eat lunch together, but Woojin hurried to the office. The policy department involved many out-of-office meetings and they could often run into the lunch hour. Today, Woojin really wanted to eat lunch with Shin. They didn’t get to spend any time together over the weekend and it felt wrong.
Thanks to Woojin’s quick and efficient presentation, their meeting ended before lunch was over. It was all to see Shin.
Jihoon said to Woojin, “You need to eat better. You know everyone gets worried about your health, right?”
“You already said that before, so why do you keep repeating yourself?”
“There is nothing wrong with repetition sometimes.”
Woojin felt uncomfortable whenever Jihoon looked at him like this.
Like Woojin was going to die of starvation.
Woojin sighed as Jihoon parked his car.
“Why are you sighing, Woojin?”
“Jihoon.”
“Yes?”
“You are suffocating me.”
It was true. Not always, but when he was with Jihoon, Woojin often felt suffocated.
His kind eyes. Caring gestures. Abundant warmth. Pleasant and loving words.
All of these things Jihoon offered made Woojin feel stifled. On top of them, Jihoon’s perfect look made things even worse.
Today, Jihoon was wearing a luxurious striped shirt and a matching solid tie. His coat was in his arm, folded neatly to make sure it didn’t wrinkle.
The way Jihoon smiled with his eyes and joked amusingly… It had to be genetics in the works.
Woojin put his hand on top of Jihoon’s, which was on the handle, and said to him, “I will see you later.” Woojin knew better than anyone how Jihoon wanted Woojin’s happiness. The problem was that the kind of happiness Jihoon wanted for Woojin was very different than what Woojin actually wanted for himself.
Woojin remembered Eejun’s words.
“A dog. He is a loyal dog.”
Eejun was very drunk when he added with a smile, “I actually used to like that dog. But the problem was that he only had one owner. Loyal to only one man.”
It was a complicated situation, and it made Woojin feel uncomfortable and unhappy. He wanted to get away from this situation.
Ignoring Jihoon who looked very unhappy, Woojin was about to get out of the car when he saw someone familiar entering the parking lot. It was Shin Kim. Woojin’s face lightened a little.
Shin’s face, on the other hand, seemed very rigid and serious. In front of him, a red car suddenly stopped. Woojin had never seen this car before.
Jihoon murmured, “It’s Shin Kim.”
Just then, a man came out from the red car. It was that man Woojin saw. The beautiful man that was with Shin the other night. The man grabbed Shin’s wrist and guided him into the red car.
Then they drove away.
Jihoon murmured again, “I think you are going to be eating lunch with me after all, Woojin.”
Recently, Woojin wondered why liking someone didn’t bring only happiness. Woojin knew he was happy, but there was always an underlying sadness. He thought he might know the answer, but then, maybe he didn’t.
***
Siwoo explained to Jihoon, “I dug up these photos because Joowan wanted to see how I looked in high school.”
“…”
“I have photos of different school teams and clubs.”
“…”
“Look here.”
After every swim competition, the athletes always gathered in the school swimming pool for a photo. On one of them, the photo included a person passing by at the very moment it was taken.
Jihoon mumbled, “It was a coincidence that this person was caught here.”
“… You seem too calm, Shin.”
Shin didn’t want to talk. He felt like if he opened his mouth, his whole heart would fall out of it. Shin felt like he could taste blood in his mouth.
“Shin, after that incident, you never went back to that swimming pool.”
“…”
“Then, you had that awful car accident…”
“Let’s stop.”
Siwoo remembered Woojin, at the time, Jin Yoo, before Shin could. In high school, it was Siwoo who told Shin about this upperclassman. Siwoo joked at the time that perhaps he was Jihoon’s stalker. When the whole suicide incident happened, it was Siwoo who came to Shin first. Siwoo was obviously worried about Shin, but he also sometimes talked about that student.
But Shin forgot about Jin Yoo. He never thought about him. Until now.
Jihoon said to Siwoo, “I need to go back to work.”
“Let’s eat lunch first.”
They were in Siwoo’s car drinking coffee and looking through the album Siwoo brought. Shin remained quiet and Siwoo looked at him worriedly. Siwoo asked, “I don’t think I have to ask why you have that expression on your face.”
After a short hesitation, Siwoo asked, “This person… He is the one you are dating, isn’t he?”
“…”
It never crossed Shin’s mind that they could be the same person. Woojin and Jin Yoo. Even when he saw the scars on Woojin’s wrist…
It was because Shin couldn’t remember Jin Yoo’s face. And secondly, their names were different.
Siwoo said to him, “When you were sick… because of that accident…”
“…”
“You told me.”
“What did I say?”
They had the same face, so why didn’t he know? His memories seemed so vague until now. It was… too clear… It was too much.
“Shin…”
“Their names are different.”
“…”
“Their names…”
The blood… So much blood… His wrist that was cut up so badly. His fingernails that seemed to tremble… The air was so cold… Shin couldn’t breathe at the time…
And now, what he remembered seemed so unreal like a bad movie.
Siwoo murmured, “They are the same person. He is that boy. His face… It’s the same. That unhappy face.”
Shin remembered the face that moved outside of his hospital bed curtain. He remembered asking that face, “Why are you crying?”
The boy just nodded. Shin asked the boy again, “Who are you?”
“…”
The boy didn’t reply, but Shin noticed the bandaged wrists.
Shin whispered, “You… are alive? You lived?”
“Don’t try to talk…”
A dream.
It wasn’t Woojin who saw him in his dream.
It was Shin who saw him in a dream.