Chapter 72: Chapter 72.
It was a question Woojin had wanted to ask for a very long time. He had been afraid to ask, but when he finally did, it didn’t feel… wrong. He regretted not asking Shin sooner.
This question had been bothering Woojin for a long time. Shin put on his sweater and sat down next to Woojin. The sun was slowly setting, creating a beautiful orange sky. Shin, who looked relaxed, rubbed his face and looked out the window as he replied, “To be honest, I don’t remember much.”
“…”
“I think right after the accident, I must’ve felt angry. You know, the usual. The world is being unfair to me. Why me? I think it felt so bad that there were moments when I couldn’t even breathe.”
“…”
“But the funny thing is, I really don’t remember the details. I just remember feeling bad from time to time.”
Shin turned towards Woojin and smiled. His smile looked peaceful and genuine. There was no sign that Shin was lying. When Woojin gestured, Shin leaned against Woojin’s shoulder. Shin was a much bigger man, and to have someone larger than you lean against you… it felt incredible. Woojin felt proud, loved, and possessive all at the same time.
Woojin patted Shin tenderly. When Shin leaned closer, the weight of him felt heavy yet warm. He kissed Woojin’s neck and laughed. He asked in a whisper, “Are you trying to console me?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“… I’m… loving you.”
When Woojin hesitantly replied, Shin remained quiet for a long time. Woojin hugged him tighter because he felt like that was all he could do for Shin.
His breath calm, Shin said to him, “Somehow… I feel really sad.”
“…”
“And incredibly happy at the same time.”
Woojin felt exactly the same way. As the sun continued to set, Woojin closed his eyes. These memories were going to last forever in Woojin’s mind. Happiness, sadness, and love all mingled together in his heart.
***
Siwoo left his office building when he saw a man inside a black sedan parked nearby. He flinched when he realized who it was. The weather was becoming icy; many car windows were frosted, and the winter wind was harsh.
It was a Friday night.
The window of the car slowly rolled down and Jihoon smiled teasingly at Siwoo, who looked surprised. Jihoon was acting politely, but there was something wrong about him. Without any hesitation, Siwoo gave him the finger, making Jihoon laugh out loud.
Jihoon asked, “What was that? You are so cute!”
“… what is wrong with you?”
“What the! I guess we aren’t being formal with each other anymore?”
“Who cares? Like you’ve been formal with me?”
Siwoo frowned and turned away from him. He began to walk away, but the black sedan slowly followed him. Siwoo planned on going to a nearby bar and enjoying a drink. Tomorrow was the weekend, so the road was rather empty.
After a short while, Siwoo looked back and glared at the car that was following him. Siwoo tried walking faster, but Jihoon wasn’t going to give up easily. With a deep sigh, Siwoo stopped walking. Jihoon’s car stopped as well. Slowly, Siwoo walked up to the car and knocked on the window.
Jihoon rolled down the window again. Seeing him grin, Siwoo became angry.
“You are smiling? Seriously?”
Jihoon looked… almost crazy. Siwoo sighed again, tightened his scarf, and asked, “Do you have nothing better to do? You have this much time to spare?”
“No.”
“If you keep this up, you are going to be arrested.”
“I won’t as long as you don’t report me!”
“… But I will.”
“I know you won’t.”
Siwoo had never seen someone like Jihoon before. He crossed his arms and kicked the car tire a few times. Suddenly, Jihoon came out of the car, making Siwoo flinch and step back. Jihoon laughed and asked, “Are you scared of me?”
“If someone calls you twenty times a day, wouldn’t you be scared of that person too?”
“But you were the one who first seduced me.”
“I just wanted to see what happens.”
“Why?”
Jihoon grabbed Siwoo’s wrist and stood in front of him. The strong smell of cologne tickled Siwoo’s nose. Jihoon smelled… strange and rough. When Siwoo tensed, Jihoon loosened his grip and, “I won’t bite, you know?”
“Then why are you being so obsessive?”
Obsession. The word came to Siwoo early on, right after the night he drank with Jihoon.
Jihoon looked very attractive and he had a pleasant demeanor most of the time, but Siwoo felt like there was something very wrong with him. When it didn’t seem like Jihoon was going to answer, Siwoo turned around and began to walk away again. Just then, Jihoon grabbed Siwoo’s wrist again.
Jihoon mumbled, “… It’s strange how those I am interested in always end up running away from me.” When he gave an unexpected truth, Siwoo turned around to face Jihoon, who strangely looked away. It seemed that Jihoon himself was shocked at what he had just revealed. He let go of Siwoo’s wrist.
Siwoo looked down at his hand and bit his lip. It was beginning to snow, making the evening sky look oddly bluish.
Suddenly, Siwoo asked, “Do you like me or something?”
“What?”
“If not, why would you be following me around like this?”
“…”
“If you don’t like me, then why are you doing this to me?”
“You… I thought you were interested in me…”
It was such an unexpected answer that Siwoo became speechless. Jihoon seemed upset and sad at the same time, confusing Siwoo even more. He thought Jihoon was a confident psycho, but the way he acted right now seemed to suggest otherwise. Jihoon was looking down, unable to meet Siwoo’s eyes.
Siwoo grabbed Jihoon’s chin and forced him to look at him. Jihoon flinched and tried to step back. Siwoo realized that he was the type who craved affection, but when someone offered it, he tried to run away. Jihoon reminded Siwoo of the cat Joowan had. Her name was Moon and she was adopted after being abandoned. At first, she acted very aggressively, remembering her painful past.
Siwoo replied, “An interest can disappear at any moment. An interest means nothing until it turns into something more.”
“So… your interest in me is gone now?”
“Are you aware that you sound like a baby now?”
Siwoo smiled and continued, “Did you know that you have a really bad reputation?”
“…”
“Just open your car door. I have somewhere I want to go.”
“… what?”
Jihoon looked down at Siwoo in confusion. Without a word, Siwoo patted Jihoon’s head and waited. When Jihoon remained rigid, Siwoo couldn’t help but smile. Finally, Jihoon asked, “So did you just change your mind?”
“Stop asking me questions like that.”
Siwoo got into the passenger seat and continued, “And stop wasting time. What you should be asking me instead is where I want to go, you idiot.”
When Jihoon looked down at him with a frown, Siwoo stared at him for a long time. A few strands of hair fell on Jihoon’s forehead, and suddenly, Siwoo thought of Moon again. Impulsively, Siwoo patted Jihoon again. Jihoon looked confused and shocked, just like that cat did from time to time. Even the way Jihoon narrowed his eyes looked cat-like.
Siwoo grinned and asked, “You are feeling excited, aren’t you? Your heart is beating faster?”
“… you are crazy.”
“Hmm, I think I got it right. Anyway, let’s go for a drink. Why don’t we start being friends first?”
Siwoo smiled brightly and patted Jihoon’s shoulder. It seemed that Siwoo always found himself with a man who didn’t know how to love. Siwoo looked at Jihoon and smiled bitterly.