Chapter 63: Story 6- Chapter 63.
“I always wanted to know. If you were alive or dead… Thank god you are alive.”
Woojin watched as Siwoo spoke to him. Woojin felt his face burning; when he lowered his face, Shin touched his neck gently. The warmth of his hand helped.
Woojin stammered, “Umm… I…”
There was something he wanted to say.
“… Thank you.”
Suddenly, Woojin realized that he had been wrong. It wasn’t that he didn’t want anything. The truth was, he just didn’t know what he wanted. It wasn’t that he wasn’t in pain; he just didn’t know how to tell others if he was hurt.
Woojin tightened his grip on Shin’s hand. The physical warmth was enough to warm his heart as well. The one who could make everything alright was right here in front of him.
It all depended on him. Woojin knew that he was the one who had to fight for what he wanted.
***
Woojin woke up from this thirst. When he reached to the side, he felt Shin sleeping soundly. Woojin shook his head lightly; he couldn’t remember when he fell asleep. He felt a bit dizzy, probably because he drank too much. Woojin got out of bed quietly and grabbed the bottle of water on the nightstand. Shin must’ve put one there for him.
When Woojin looked towards the living room, he saw that Siwoo was sleeping on the sofa. The clock on the wall said it was 4 AM in the morning. When Woojin drank just the right amount, he slept very well, but when he drank too much, he ended up waking up in the middle of the night. Woojin slowly drank the water and walked out to the living room which was cleaned up.
“…”
Woojin sighed deeply; his head was aching. He vaguely remembered drinking wine before falling asleep. He also remembered that he was having fun.
Woojin didn’t bring any spare clothes; he wondered if he should drop by his place to grab a new suit for work. Woojin was about to throw away the empty water bottle into a recycling bin when he noticed Siwoo’s cell phone which lit up and was vibrating.
Woojin meant to go back to bed, but unconsciously, his eyes looked at the screen of Siwoo’s phone.
-Jihoon Kang.
***
Woojin arrived at work early as usual. He went straight to the policy department office and sat down on his chair. He put on his nametag and was about to turn on the monitor when suddenly, he felt a bit dizzy. He slowly sat down and took a deep breath.
That weekend, they ended up spending most of the weekend at Yoonil’s clinic. After a three-hour session, for the first time since he began to be treated, Woojin didn’t request a prescription for sleeping pills.
Shin waited patiently and it was Woojin who became annoyed at Eejun.
“Why did you make Shin come? It must be so boring for him and it’s taking too long.”
“His presence will help you get better.”
“I don’t need it.”
Woojin didn’t want to show his illness to Shin. Woojin didn’t say a word on the ride back with Shin. When Woojin wouldn’t even look at him, Shin looked tired. Silently, Shin dropped Woojin off at his apartment and returned to his own place.
Woojin thought to himself, ‘Shin looked very tired.’
He could understand why. He was sick and dating a patient was not an easy thing. That was why Woojin decided they should date for only one month.
But a month was much shorter than he expected. And even during this short period of time, Shin seared his presence on Woojin’s body. Woojin could no longer sleep well by himself. He craved Shin’s warmth. Woojin became scared.
That day, Sunday, Woojin got several calls but he didn’t answer any of them. His mother from Germany called once, but Woojin ignored it. He shut the blinds, went to the second floor, and looked at the photos.
Just as Yoonil taught him, Woojin looked at the pictures one by one slowly. And with every photo, he tried to remember. But all it ended up doing was make him feel breathless; Woojin put the pictures away and went downstairs.
He closed his eyes to rest.
That was the end of his weekend.
On Monday morning, Woojin realized that he didn’t eat anything the day before. He opened the fridge and saw that it was still filled with fruits and salads. Woojin sighed.
Another sign of Shin Kim at his place.
Woojin ate a strawberry, which was going getting old and soft. It tasted sour.
‘I miss him.’
Over the weekend, Shin never called once. He texted a few times, asking how he was, but not a single call.
Woojin waited all Sunday with his cellphone in his hand. On the days they didn’t meet, Shin always called Woojin. He worried if Woojin ate and Shin would whisper that he missed Woojin.
But this Sunday, Shin didn’t do that and suddenly, Woojin became fearful. He looked at the office window and bit his lips.
‘Is Shin tired of me now?’
Woojin wasn’t angry; he just hated the fact that Shin saw his weak side by going to the clinic with him. Woojin worried that Shin might abandon him. He felt angry at Eejun for creating this problem.
Everything felt annoying to Woojin. He never felt like this before.
‘It’s as if I am becoming too needy.’
To love him. To take him.
Woojin touched his forehead and sighed. The furious frustration filled his body. The last time this happened, Woojin ran away. He didn’t answer anyone’s calls, including Shin’s. At the time, Woojin didn’t consider how it may have made Shin feel.
If Shin remembered Woojin from high school and he was disgusted by it… Woojin planned to disappear forever, never to be seen by Shin again. But Woojin never asked him yet how he felt about it all.
‘Me, Shin, us…’
It seemed so simple yet the most difficult and complicated thing to Woojin.
“What are you thinking about?” Jihoon Kang asked from behind. When Woojin looked up, Jihoon smiled and commented, “You look cute even when you are annoyed.”
“…”
“Did you finish the briefing for the monthly report?”
“Oh…”
“You didn’t?”
“I think I did the research part.”
“Wow, I don’t think I have ever seen Woojin Choi not being on top of his work.”
It hadn’t been long since Woojin returned to work. He was also unwell. However, these were not good enough excuses for Woojin. He was never been lazy about his work before.
Jihoon half-joked that Woojin should’ve worked over the weekend to finish it. Woojin stared at him for a few more seconds before beginning to work on his briefing.
Jihoon asked, “Did you eat well over the weekend?”
“…”
“From the look on your face, it seems like you skipped a few meals again.”
“I can take care of myself.”
Woojin was known for his excellent and quick reports, but today, Woojin couldn’t focus well. So much information to organize… So much paperwork to go through… It took much longer than expected for Woojin to complete the briefing. If he didn’t come early today, he might have missed the deadline, which was this afternoon.
After emailing the report, Woojin felt Jihoon’s eyes on him. When he turned around, Woojin noticed that Jihoon also looked thinner. He also had dark circles underneath his eyes.
Woojin asked, “Why are you looking at me?”
“It has been so long since I last saw Assistant Manager Choi fumbling to meet the deadline.”
“…Are you making fun of me?”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
Jihoon laughed out loud, and he seemed to be genuinely pleased. Woojin felt relieved to see Jihoon. Eejun may have warned Woojin against Jihoon, but it still didn’t change the fact that Jihoon was one of Woojin’s closest acquaintances.
It was almost lunch time, but Shin still hadn’t contacted Woojin yet. The morning went by quickly.
Yeonwoo asked from behind, “Aren’t you going for lunch?”
Woojin flinched. He hadn’t realized it was already lunch time.
“Oh…”
“Assistant Kang left for a lunch meeting and the Chief is also out. I am going out with my friends for lunch.”
“… friends?”
“Umm… yes. I have a meeting with some friends today…”
“Oh, I see.”
Yeonwoo seemed surprised that Woojin showed interest. She bowed lightly and left the office.
Woojin’s eyes roamed the office until they rested on the marketing team’s office. Woojin wasn’t hungry, but if he didn’t eat, there was a chance he might faint again. Woojin stood up slowly and as he walked out, he saw that the marketing team’s office was dark.
Then suddenly, someone offered from behind, “You look like you are free for lunch. Let’s eat together.”
When Woojin turned around, he saw Eejun Bae smiling broadly. When Woojin nodded, Eejun grinned and said to him, “What the! I can clearly see the disappointment on your face!”
“You are imagining things.”
“Fine. Let’s go eat. I already made a reservation at that Japanese restaurant you like.”