Ru could count on her fingers the number of times she felt like she had no idea what was going on or what she was supposed to do. And today certainly was one of those days for her. The situation with Xiao Zhiren's family seemed so twisted that she was wanted to bang her head against the wall.
And it never had happened that Young Master Ru wanted to do something and she didn't. That's exactly why when she came back to her room, she started hitting her head against the wall. At this point, this was the only thing that seemed sane to her insanely raging emotions. If she as a third party was going through such emotions, she could hardly imagine what the people involved were going through.
With her eyes closed, as she again hit the wall, she felt something soft. Opening her eyes, she looked at the hand that had blocked her and turned her eyes to look at Xiao Zhiren looking at her with an inquisitively look and worry written all over his face.
"You okay, love?" He asked.
Ru stared at his face strangely before she held the lapels of his jacket and slammed his back against the wall taking him by a shock or storm, that was yet to figure out. "Woah, for a second I forgot that my little chili is quite rough." He was still trying to be funny because her expressionless face was making him anxious now.
Ru placed both her hands on his shoulders and stared straight at his face for a long time without saying anything. Although she was quite used to the silence, he wasn't. Especially when the silent person was his own little chili. He had always seen her bickering with him or saying something outrageous. This was new since she was quiet. So quiet that it felt almost scary.
"Love, don't scare me like that. Do you have something to say? Even if you have nothing to say, just talk. Make a sound to let me know that I'm not the crazy person who's actually talking to himself." Xiao Zhiren urged her to talk or do anything. But she didn't even flinch. If anything, her expressions darkened more than before.
Ru cupped his face and made him look into her eyes as she thought, 'I have a lot to say as in a lot. But I can't. My one careless word can put your life at risk and the idea of losing you is already scary enough. Oh, Ru! When did you become a slave to your feelings? But for the first time, I, Young Master Ru is not feeling pity for being a slave to my own feelings. Because those feelings belong to you. Just when did you become so bloody important?'
"I can't hear you, love. Can you please say it a little louder?" Xiao Zhiren could feel that she was saying something. Those eyes of hers were enough to tell him that. But what was stopping her from saying it out loud? She had never been the person to hold herself or her words back. He loved her bluntness but now, she was being like this. It suddenly felt odd and so not like her.
All of sudden, Ru sighed out and dropped her head on his shoulder as she said, "I'm tired."
"Huh?" Xiao Zhiren's brows quirked up in confusion.
"Stay still. Let me recharge for a while," her words were enough to make him freeze. He stopped asking and hugged her.
Both of them didn't know how long they stayed like that but one thing was certain that none of them wanted to let go. As Ru could hear his heartbeat, she felt herself calming down as if everything was alright in the world. However, it was a pity that she could never let her brain accept that everything was alright. That was a lie she could never tell herself.
"If something's bothering you, you can always share it with me," Xiao Zhiren was really in a stump to see her acting this way. "But if you don't want to that's alright as well."
"If I tell you, will you help me?" Her question sounded really unnecessary to him. Was there ever a doubt that his little chili said something and he wouldn't do so? If there really was the slightest bit of doubt in her then he needed to do something about that.
"That's a dumb question, I will always help you even without you saying it," Xiao Zhiren replied while stroking her hair lovingly.
"Are you calling me dumb?" Ru tilted her head to stare at him and Xiao Zhiren was taken aback.
"Huh? I didn't call you dumb. I said your question is dumb," Xiao Zhiren tried to explain himself.
Ru pushed him away and with her hands on her waist she said, "The question was asked by me and if that question seemed dumb to you that means I'm also dumb, right?"
"Does it even make sense?" Xiao Zhiren took a step towards her but she stepped backward.
"Woah! Now, I don't even make sense to you. That's a shocker," said Ru making cold sweat appear on Xiao Zhiren's face.
He moved towards her while she kept going back. It continued until Ru's legs hit the couch behind her. Xiao Zhiren didn't stop moving and Ru had to lean backward now to avoid him. However, in the end, both of them fell on the couch. Xiao Zhiren held her body down and said, "Can you stop avoiding my question with your weird logic? I really want to help you."
"And if you can't help me?" she asked.
Xiao Zhiren shrugged his shoulders and said, "Then I'll stay with you."
"For what?"
"To make sure..." he lowered his head to brush the tip of his nose with hers and added, "That you aren't alone." With that, he tilted his head and captured her lips with his own. Before even falling for her so deeply, he knew that he wasn't of much help to her. But that didn't mean he was willing to walk away.
So what if her world and his were poles apart. Their heartbeat was one and that was more than enough.