Lily goes upstairs and opens the door. There is a tall man in good shape sitting on the crouch. Hearing
the footsteps, the man turns around and says to her in a clear voice, “How’s the talk going?”
“I don’t know.” Lily is in a confused state of mind. She has no idea what the talk means for her and Rex.
“Did he harass you?” Ryan is worried about her. He tries to keep a calm tone, comforting, “Let me know
if you need anything.”
Lily is slightly touched by his sincerity. It’s hard to have such a good man who would like to do
everything for you unconditionally. Ryan is so good a person that he deserves a better woman.
“Thank you, Ryan,” She feels guilty about the trouble she has made for him. “I owe you too much. I
don’t want to get you into trouble because of me.”
“Lily,” Ryan calls her name, frustrated, “could you stop being so polite to me? I don’t treat you well for
wanting you to do something for me in return. The only thing I want is that you can take care of yourself
and Adair. Do you understand?”
Lily has mixed feelings about him, “But…”
“Do you have a feeling that you never find it stressful when Rex brings you happiness or trouble? But
when I do the same to you, you’re so afraid of not being able to make up for me, even after I told you
that I never want anything in return.” he smiles bitterly with a pitifully hopeless look. “I’m so jealous of
that man. He can get all your love. But when it comes to us, you draw a boundary I can never cross.”
“Ryan, I…” Lily wants to explain.
“You don’t have to say anything. I understand.” he says. Forcing her to tell him her feelings is not his
intentions. Besides, she is too involved in the relationship to even understand her own feelings. “I just
want you to know that I will always be there for you and Adair when you need me.”
Lily is on the verge of tears hearing his confession. The way she treats him is so unfair. She ponders
for a moment and makes up her mind and says, “Actually, we talked about Adair today. He wants me to
go back to City J.”
Though Ryan has expected Rex would take some actions to get her back, he didn’t expect that would
happen so fast. He then asks Lily, “So what do you think?”
“I don’t know.” Lily answers honestly. To be frank, she doesn’t even have a clue right now.
Though she is not willing to go back to City J with Rex knowing that there will be something going on
with her and Rex if she goes back, she realizes she can’t really run away from him forever. Besides,
knowing that they already have a son, Rex won’t let them live away from home or away from him. He
would do anything to get them back.
She understands that it’s not possible to move away every time he finds them. Her son needs a steady
life growing up. And if she wants to talk about these problems with Rex, she must go back to City J.
The hope in Ryan’s eyes is dimming. Hell knows how much he wants her to give him an exact answer
and tell him she won’t leave. But her hesitation already tells him her final decision.
Ryan’s eyebrows knit into a knot. He tries to conceal his disappointment and loneliness in his voice, “If
you don’t know what to do, then go back to see if the answer you find is there.”
Surprised by his words, she thought he would persuade her to stay.
“It’s been five years, Lily. You haven’t figured out what you really want yet. Are you going to waste
another five years?” he is quite confident in competing with Rex while he has little confidence that she
would choose him rather than Rex.
Well, it has been five years.
Lily looks down at her toes on the marble floor with delicate floral patterns. The quiet life she tries to
maintain is broken by Rex, not only because of his obsession, but hers.
The feelings she conceals at the bottom of her mind turn out to never fade from her memory. How
could she forget him if she never let it go?
She has been deluding herself.
Rex used to say that to her twice that she was deluding herself. She denied it and argued with him that
she was not. But how could she believe she is true to herself if no one believes what she said?
“I will respect you whatever your choice is. I only have one request.” Ryan walks to her side. He is so fit
and tall like a mountain. He says, “Promise me you will tell me everything whatever happens.”
She nods to reassure him, “I will.”
Lily stays up almost all night in Adair’s room. She sits in the room, alternating between watching her
sleeping son and looking out of the window until the early morning sun casts a ray of light over the
room.
She usually can’t stay up too late without the help of coffee especially when at work. But now she
doesn’t feel sleepy at all even after a night being awake.
She suddenly recalls a line seen before, that is, a person who has something on his mind could have
trouble sleeping.
She thought it was nonsense at that time. How is it possible that a person fails to fall asleep just
because he has something on mind?
But now she is convinced. It’s simply too hard to do anything including sleeping when tons of issues
filling one’s head, tormenting him. And the one will suffer forever until the issues are fixed.
She doesn’t want to live like this anymore. It’ll do no good to her and Adair if pushing Rex too far.
Lily finally clears all her misgivings after the night and makes up her mind. Perhaps it’s not a bad thing
to go back. After all, besides Rex there are many people still caring her and missing her. She must face
all of these herself. Five years ago, she left. Now she needs to shoulder her responsibilities.
“Mummy, what are you doing here?” A childish voice from the bedside catches her attention.
It’s until now that Lily realizes it’s already seven in the morning and the kid’s awake.
She wants to walk quickly to the bedside despite the dizziness due to her sitting too long.
Then she accidentally lurches a bit, reaching out to the wall to support herself and waiting the influence
of dizziness to fade away.
“Mummy, what’s wrong?” Adair says in a worried voice and gets out of his bed instantly without putting
on his slippers. He races to Lily’s side and holds her hand, “Mummy, are you okay?”
The care in his voice fills her heart with warmth. But she doesn’t want to worry him then she replies
with a smile, “Mom’s fine. It’s just numbness in my legs. Could you do me a favor and help me walk
over there?”
She switches Adair attention by asking him a favor. Well, kids are usually easy to distract. Then he
nods seriously in a bright voice, “Sure!”
Adair takes Lily gently by the arm and leads her to the bedside. She raises her hand and strokes his
hair, watching her adorable son. He doesn’t have much hair and his hair is slightly damaged, appearing
a bit dry and dull which probably has to do with their early life. At that time, she had to work day and
night to pay the bills. Although she managed to make time to take care of Adair, she failed to make him
a nutritious diet.
Stroking his soft hair, she has an aching feeling in her heart, “Sweetheart, do you want to meet your
grandpa and grandma?”
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