"..."
Death day?
Lily looks at the man who is very close to her. He seems to have no extra emotion. He just looks at a
certain place with a cold gaze. It is rare to be somewhat blank, as if he is recalling something.
After a long silence, he slowly says, "It was the same as tonight, dark and the moon is big. She hugged
me and we hid under the bridge."
Lily does not know why he tells her this, but she does not stop him. She doesn't want to know what
happened to him, but she does not want to do anything to break this short period of peace.
"A lot of people were chasing and looking for us outside. I could even see the light coming from the
flashlight not far away. I was curious why they were chasing us. I looked at the feet of those adults and
asked my mother this question. I asked her, 'Mom, when can we leave here?' It was just these words..."
Hawk suddenly laughs with his chest heaving. He doesn't say anything funny. It is really strange, and it
seems he is with a sense of sorrow.
Sorrow?
Lily stops this ridiculous thought. How could this man feel sorrow? He is simply heartless and ruthless.
"The people outside heard my words. They walked toward the bridge. Hearing the rapid tramp of feet, I
had no idea what happened. My mother put a handkerchief in my mouth. She walked out, standing in
the halos of the flashlight. I saw they were surrounding my mother, and then I heard her screams. I
didn't know what they are doing to her, but I smelled the blood. I was eight years old at that time, but I
had already known what blood is like." Hawk takes another swallow of wine. Some wine seeps out from
the corner of his mouth as he drinks too much, flowing down his fair neck to his collar, "Her blood flew
from the side of the road to the bottom of the bridge. It was red all around. When I scrambled out of the
bridge, my mother was already gone. I walked along the blood like I was walking on a red carpet. I lost
my fear and reaction. I picked up my mother's little finger from the grass on the side of the road..."
As he speaks word by word, Lily's heart is pumping faster than ever. This story really happens to him. It
is so cruel that she is unwilling to believe it is true, but...
When she sees the tears at the corner of his eyes, she believes that the story is true. It happens when
he was eight years old.
He was at the same age as Adair.
The room is quiet. No one speaks. Lily knows that beautiful fairy tales could comfort others, but now,
she is relieved of fear and uneasiness by this bloody story.
She has never known that Hawk may have the bad feeling. He is almost a wicked creature. Not
speaking of humanity and faith, Lily thinks he is really a bad killer.
But today, she realizes that she is wrong. Even if Hawk imprisons her in this wooden house, kills his
subordinate and breaks all the fundamental laws of God and man, he has a broken heart.
Perhaps it is this experience that makes him who he is today.
No one is innocent, he is not, and neither are those who hurt him.
"Do you hate yourself?" Lily says softly. She knows that she shouldn't ask, but she says.
Hawk shrugs, as if he is extremely disdainful of this question. However, a few seconds later, he
answers seriously, "In the beginning, I hate."
"How are you now?"
"I'm numb."
Lily is astonished, and her eyes fall on the face lit by the moon.
"The more blood I have on my hands, the harder I can feel the pain. When I can easily take a person's
life, I will think of the night under the bridge. It turns out that they also took my mother's life so easily.
Hatred is so meaningless, because all the reasons for hatred will disappear as long as I pull the trigger
gently."
If she hasn't gone through these things, Lily would think that this person is talking nonsense, but now
that she hears these words, she could actually understand the meaning behind.
When a person has the right to make decisions on others' death and life, he will go crazy and forget
who he is.
Both love and hate will become less important.
Lily slowly exhales and hesitates to ask a stupid question, "Why did you save me that day?"
"Because I don't like people make decisions for me."
"You can kill me with your own hands, right?"
When he shots Bagot, then he could personally kill her. He has a chance, but actually, he just doesn't
want to do so.
"Well, not yet." Hawk gives such an answer. Lily looks at him. With the ice-cold eyes, Hawk's face
doesn't show any emotion.
She frowns and doesn't ask any further. She suddenly remembers the first time she saw him. At the
back door of the florist, he was dressed in a formal suit. Such a gentle and handsome man was no
different from an ordinary person. But now, he gets into this state.
Actually, it is only about ten days since he caught her, but these days seem to be half a year to Lily,
because every second is filled with fear. She is afraid to lose her life.
However, Lily is not the only one who is worried. When they catch her, they are also afraid every day.
They are afraid of being found by the police. Otherwise, Bagot would not have taken the liberty of killing
her.
One finished, all is finished. They don't need to run away or do something else.
Lily feels hard to imagine that they live their lives under darkness and suspicions. They have to flee
with a sign of disturbance or trouble. Once adapting to this kind of life, even they have a chance to
reinvent themselves, will they be confident to face the new life?
Struggling in the dark and dirty swamp for long, they fear the cleanliness and beauty. This is why they
often say that once they walk this road, there's no turning back.
Not only do they do something illegal, but also they are afraid of the good things. The good things
would instinctively make people reflect and tell them that everything they do is wrong, that is why they
want to tear these good things apart.
They couldn't face it.
Lily withdraws her gaze and looks at the moonlight shining beside her feet. She tries to say something,
sounds softly, "Hawk, have you ever thought of a different life?"
The evil smile on the man's face freezes. From the twinkle in his eyes, Lily knows he is trying to hide
something. He picks the wine bottle, drinking all the remaining wine up in a hurry.
This tall man stands up against the moonlight. He raises his hand and shakes the empty wine bottle.
"There's no wine left."
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