After Rex reaches the second floor, he does not go to the master bedroom. Instead, he walks straight
to Adair’s room.
The door opens. Adair and Fanny are sitting on the carpet beside the bed, playing Lego. The child just
returned from school, not even changing his school uniform. Seeing Rex, the boy happily stands up
and runs towards him. “Dad!”
Rex’s legs are tightly hugged by a pair of small hands. Rex cannot help but feel the force of intimacy
and his eyes turn red. He winks at Fanny, who understands and walks out of the room with a nod, not
forgetting to close the door.
“Dad, why didn’t you pick me up this afternoon?” Adair raises his head and blinks, looking innocent.
Rex squats down halfway and looks at him. Although Adair is still at a tender age, he looks like his dad
a lot, and a little like his mother. Gazing at him, Rex thinks of the fact that he will not be able to see his
son in half a year, feeling grieved.
“Dad, why aren’t you talking?” Adair is a little confused by his father’s action.
Rex is even more distressed when he hears the boy call him dad. He hasn’t picked him up from school
or held a party for him and his little friends, nor has he heard enough of him calling him dad. He has so
much love left to give, but it is too late. To keep Adair from his harm, he has to leave.
“Adair, do you miss dad?” The man’s voice is deep and hoarse as he asks this question.
Although Adair does not understand why his father asked that, he still nods and says honestly, “Yes.”
Rex almost can’t stand it. He looks away and picks up a piece of Lego, asking, “Do you like this? What
about other toys?”
“I like cars! Uncle Ryan has bought me quite a lot of them….” Adair shows off his toys one by one. He
does not understand the adults’ intentions, but he is happy just to think of those toys.
Rex memorizes the names of the toys, so that he can send some as gifts when he is away.
Seeing how happy the boy is, Rex tries his best to force a sentence, “Adair, Dad is going on a long
business trip, and might not come back for a while. Listen to Mom at home. I will bring you a lot of fun
toys when I come back, okay?”
Adair doesn’t know what a business trip is, but he feels that his father will be away for a long time, so
he puts on a long face. “Dad, for how long?”
“I don’t know. It should take longer than the other ones. I’ll let you know before I come back.” As he
says that, he thinks of the 50% chance of failure.
He doesn’t even dare to imagine what will happen if he fails.
Children are always kind and sensitive. As if sensing his emotions, Adair suddenly reaches out and
grabs Rex’s palm.
A warm feeling spreads from his fingers to his body. The man is stunned. He looks down at the small,
soft hand that can only hold a few fingers even though its owner wants more.
They are connected by blood. Such a small action makes Rex freeze.
Blood is running through his limbs. A wave of heat surges from his nose toward his forehead. The Lego
in front of him becomes blurry. The fog in his eyes is dense. He suddenly stands up and turns his face
away to hide his expression.
“Dad?”
“Dad is fine.” His voice trembles as he tries to control himself. His throat is about to be sliced by the
bitterness he endures as he forces every word, “I’m going down to see mom.”
Leaving the children’s room as if fleeing, Rex flashes into the master bedroom. He walks into the
bathroom, and the sensing light above his head lights up. Looking at the sorry face in the mirror, he
almost doesn’t recognize himself.
Is this an escape?
He chooses to leave them temporarily because of his illness. He wants to protect this family and
prevent them from being tortured and hurt by his addiction, but he can’t overcome this obstacle in his
heart.
Rex, Rex, you hate cowards the most in your life, but you have to be one now.
He laughs out loud, and tears falls down his cheeks. He can’t stand upright, as if a rock is on his
shoulders. Giant teardrops smashed onto the pool like beads that fall off a pearl necklace. His body
trembles slightly, and his jawbones stick out because he clenches his teeth too hard. He cannot utter a
single sound.
The sky isn’t completely dark, but he seems to have been devoured by the darkness, his entire body
icy cold.
Something is swimming through his body. Depression, anger, and sorrow all turn into this suffocating
silence.
Fifty percent. Half and half. Like his life that can’t touch the ground.
Perhaps a bright future awaits, or perhaps Purgatory. He can’t control it, waiting for the trial.
After an unknown amount of time, the tears run dry, itching his eye corners. Looking up at the mirror, he
notices that his eyes are bloodshot, tightening his fists.
If he succeeds, he will never leave Lily again. If he fails, he can’t have her give up her life just to take
care of him. He has to make sure she and Adair can live a content life.
…
While Rex stands upstairs, Lily stands downstairs. She calls Karl to tell him what has happened. Not
long after the call was hung up, Rex walks down from upstairs. Karl is probably looking for him.
Lily watches as the man walks towards her step by step. He carries a black paper bag which is not
heavy, and it contains certificates instead of clothes or daily necessities.
Rex stands in front of her after a few strides, uttering only one word, “Goodbye.”
Lily’s legs almost go numb only for such a result! She smiles and laughs self-mockingly, “Still have to
go, huh?”
No matter what she says or does, he still wants to leave. No one can persuade this man. Doesn’t she
know that? But why does she still hold on to a stupid fantasy, hoping that he can tell her that he will
stay no matter what?
Rex looks at the intense emotions in her eyes. Every time she shows her true feelings, he will suffer a
great pain, even bigger than hers.
After a long silence, the man just lets out a nasal sound.
“Alright, leave.” Lily looks extremely happy, making way for him.
“I told Adair I was going on a long trip. Tell him that if he asks. Be careful while I’m away. Fanny will
keep you company. If you’re bored, do something you enjoy. Don’t go to work. The child is too young.
Without me, he only has you. Don’t worry about the money. You will have enough. I’ll send people over
regularly to check on you. If you need anything, tell Fraser. If you have anything urgent, call me,” he
says all of that in one breath, as if he has thought of it, but the truth is he just lets it out of his chest
when separation is at hand.
Lily can’t pretend to be indifferent anymore, and cries despite of herself.
She sounds like a wounded animal, so sorrowful, but only one sentence is said out loud, “Take care of
yourself.”
Then Rex strides towards the door without delay.
Lily pauses for two seconds before suddenly turning around and shouting, “Rex!”
The man freezes, but doesn’t turn around, afraid that he will change his mind.
“I’ll give you half a year. I’ll wait for you for half a year. If you don’t come back then, I won’t want you
anymore!” She cries so hard. “You have to cooperate with the doctor and receive treatment. Otherwise,
I will remarry and the child will not recognize you as his father!”
Although her words are not pleasant to hear, she is promising him that she will wait for him.
Rex listens. His handsome face, which is not facing her, is so tense that it is about to crack. He is so
excited! His woman, his sweetheart, has said that she will wait for him!
He wants to rush over and hug her, but he shouldn’t. He can’t promise her anything.
In the silent living room, the man lets out a deep breath and feels heartbroken. “If I don’t come back in
half a year, don’t wait.”
“| told Adair | was going on a long trip. Tell him that if he asks. Be careful while I’m away. Fanny will
keep you company. If you're bored, do something you enjoy. Don’t go to work. The child is too young.
Without me, he only has you. Don't worry about the money. You will have enough. I'll send people over
regularly to check on you. If you need anything, tell Fraser. If you have anything urgent, call me,” he
says all of that in one breath, as if he has thought of it, but the truth is he just lets it out of his chest
when separation is at hand.
Lily can’t pretend to be indifferent anymore, and cries despite of herself.
She sounds like a wounded animal, so sorrowful, but only one sentence is said out loud, “Take care of
yourself.”
Then Rex strides towards the door without delay.
Lily pauses for two seconds before suddenly turning around and shouting, “Rex!”
The man freezes, but doesn’t turn around, afraid that he will change his mind.
“I'll give you half a year. I'll wait for you for half a year. If you don’t come back then, | won’t want you
anymore!” She cries so hard. “You have to cooperate with the doctor and receive treatment. Otherwise,
| will remarry and the child will not recognize you as his father!”
Although her words are not pleasant to hear, she is promising him that she will wait for him.
Rex listens. His handsome face, which is not facing her, is so tense that it is about to crack. He is so
excited! His woman, his sweetheart, has said that she will wait for him!
He wants to rush over and hug her, but he shouldn't. He can’t promise her anything.
In the silent living room, the man lets out a deep breath and feels heartbroken. “If | don’t come back in
half a year, don’t wait.”
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