Reality (2)
“Over the years, I’ve spared no effort to manage this country. How can she not be willing to see me?”
When Xie Yunting finished, he mocked: “Who’s the delusional one? She clearly had no relationship with you, and you deliberately let me misunderstand.”
Chen Jingzhi couldn’t refute, because at the time they truly didn’t have anything.
Xie Yunting lay on the bed, his face so thin and pallid, but the expression in his eyes frightening.
“I also want to understand. She has always loved me. But she couldn’t admit it. I killed her father, her brother, her loved ones, and forced her into a dead end.”
Speaking of this, Xie Yunting laughed at himself.
“How could she love me, fall in love with an enemy who took everything away from her?”
So she always resisted and hated him.
Chen Jingzhi saw him like this and snapped: “You really don’t deserve her love. She would rather die and have you sit on the throne because in those days you were riding a tiger and unable to get off1. If she were still there, you wouldn’t be able to fight those hungry subordinates below you.”
Xie Yunting’s breath was faint. “She’s always admired me, how could she look down on me? Not only did I not become emperor, I also managed her country well.”
She was gone.
He was still the regent, and for the rest of his life he stayed a regent.
The position of emperor was vacant, with only a small white memorial tablet placed on the dragon throne. No one dared to sit in that spot.
He sat in the jiao dragon chair beside the dragon throne, pretending that she was still there.
Chen Jingzhi brought over tea. He leisurely reclined in a chair as he took a sip. “If it weren’t for me, you could’ve only dreamed of taking control so easily.”
Xie Yunting could shut out the heavens with one palm, but he had control over the nobility. He initially didn’t fight because the country was rotten.
He was too lazy to fight. May as well let Xie Yunting fail.
If later he wanted to fight, what could Xie Yunting do to him?
If it weren’t for her constantly thinking of Xie Yunting, Chen Jingzhi would have fought until the fish died or the net split2.
Xie Yunting snorted, then coughed.
Chen Jingzhi: “Go to hell already, stop dragging your feet. She’s far away.”
This disease was beyond a cure.
Xie Yunting laughed. “Then I will, will chase after.”
When Xie Yunting died, the white snow swirled in the air, and the red plum flowers bloomed in the emperor’s palace.
Red Merlin3, planted by him for years.
He was a legend of this dynasty, a six-time top scholar who took over the palace, but did not become emperor.
Guarding the little emperor who died, he remained a regent his whole life.
Later generations clicked their tongue in wonder4, but no one knew the twists and turns.
On the night of Xie Yunting’s death, Chen Jingzhi spat up a large mouthful of blood.
He sighed sadly. “My later years will be no different. I can’t catch up with you.”
A few years later, he died of overwork, holding a yellowed handkerchief in his hands.
It was the one she used to wipe away his sweat that year. During their escape, in that small cottage, she wore a camellia flower in her hair.
Softly called him gege.
The handkerchief had dropped into his arms because of the sudden clip-clop of horses’ hooves.
She forgot to take it back, and he kept it close all his life.
He didn’t know if he could give it back to her in the next life.
– – – – – – – – – –
When Ye Yuxuan arrived at the hospital, he suddenly stopped.
He stood in the corridor breathing heavily, not knowing what he was doing for a moment.
His heart was still clenched, and he broke into a cold sweat.
This feeling was strange but familiar. His heart ached again and again. Those emotions had always been absent from his life.
But little by little they grew.
He was like an innocent child, at a loss in the face of these emerging emotions.
Suddenly a familiar voice came from around the corner of the corridor.
“Where is the phone? I’ll call daddy to tell him I’m safe and conveniently have him call off the engagement with that death star.”
That voice, light and soft, like the woman in his dream.
1: 骑虎难下: unable to stop halfway; to have no way to back down/out.↩
2: 鱼死网破: a life and death struggle↩
3: 红梅林: I’m not getting any real varietal name in english, but since google images gives me red flowers I’m going to assume that they’re a plum tree varietal?↩
4: 啧啧称奇: to be astonished↩