Chapter 745: To The End (3)
‘I don’t want Cherubim to change.’
‘What are you trying to say?’
‘I am telling you that there is no need to change.’
‘I don’t need your advice.’
‘I didn’t say anything great enough to be a piece of advice. I am not compelling you to accept it. You can let it in one ear and out the other. You know that everything I say is like that.’
‘…’
‘It seems like you guys have changed a lot.’
‘We do not change.’
‘No. Thronus, Dominions, and Seraphim have changed. I don’t know why, but you all changed little by little. Perhaps it’s because of the long war. Maybe you were influenced from the outside… maybe influenced by somewhere nearby… maybe it’s because you looked directly into the lives and deaths of humans. They are beautiful, aren’t they?’
‘…’
‘They are dazzling. The possibilities they have, their finite lives, and their desires are all filled with elegance and beauty. Maybe others have felt the same thing. We usually admire those who are different from ourselves. I thought it would be the same for you. Even if you pretend not to, you must be longing for their imperfections.’
‘It’s not worth hearing this. If you keep talking like that, just get out of here. I have no intention of responding to your bullsh*t.’
‘Maybe everyone is thinking like that. They want to resemble humans. At least, even if it’s not you, there are others who probably think that way.’
‘No, we…’
‘Will I be wrong?’
When I searched my memory, I thought that the human’s words might be right at the time.
The reason I stopped talking for a moment was probably that I felt he hit the right spot.
At some point, Seraphim began to imitate human behavior, or, to be precise, that human’s behavior. Meanwhile, Dominions began to take an interest in their culture.
Randomly reading books or looking into their lives had already been a daily routine for her.
Thronus was no different. He began to absorb human armaments, human martial arts, their objects, and their combat methods.
I didn’t know how surprised I was when Thronus, who used to have the weakest body, collided his sword with mine.
There was a change. There was definitely a change.
We had been together for an innumerable length of time, but we had never seen or felt such a sudden change. The change was sudden, radical, and brilliant.
Maybe he was right. I couldn’t deny that I wanted to change too, after all. No, maybe I had already changed.
“A tie.”
A bond. It was definitely a strange string that connected humans…
I might have already changed since I was interested in that string.
For example, it might be the emotion that the two people in masks had toward each other or the emotions felt by humans with their backs on each other on the battlefield.
I felt that their recklessness, grasping each other’s hands when dying, choosing to end their lives to protect their colleagues, or going into dangerous places for their loved ones even though they knew it would lead to their deaths, all came from a sense of a bond.
Thronus might’ve also felt a bond with him. I thought maybe Thronus was the only one of us who realized about the string.
Did we have that?
I asked myself that question, but I couldn’t easily answer it.
We literally were just born and existed together.
We didn’t end our lives for each other, and we didn’t exchange emotions. Although there were pros and cons of opinions and confrontations about them, although we formed groups, we felt different from humans.
I couldn’t define it exactly, but I thought the feeling of bonding didn’t drive us.
“…”
Seraphim, Thronus, Dominions. And then there was me.
“Were we… Were we connected? Have we ever been connected?”
‘I do not know. I don’t think I can answer anything. But one thing is certain: Cherubim shouldn’t change.’
“S… Shut up.”
‘We also need someone who has to keep the balance. If you are a higher-ranking being, you should be the one to do that. As you know, humans are imperfect. Having to manage them must inevitably mean becoming inhuman. Think about why the continent was so broken, Cherubim. Don’t you already know? The reason that the continent was destroyed is that gods resembling humans exist and reign. That’s the first button that’s misplaced in the current dimensions.’
“…”
‘It’s because the gods resembling humans are in control of this continent. They cannot be free from their emotions. They sympathize, cherish, and even love humans. Does that make sense? The gods who are supposed to be observers have personalities. Haha. Those gods have always been involved in the lives of mortals.’
“…”
‘There was even an event to reduce the number of them, right? The continent has always worked like that in history. Natural disasters, wars, demon invasions, and humans were born with such fates. It was always those gods that prevented continental crises. They restrained themselves not to intervene directly, but they have always tried to protect humans indirectly anyway. It has always been them that lowered the Holy Sword to the warrior, calmed down natural disasters, and imparted wisdom to prevent humans who were born with a natural destiny. Yes. They, too, are imperfect. Even though they know what will benefit the continent, they get caught up in private feelings and hurt their cause.’
“…”
‘But that shouldn’t happen anymore. If you say that even you are pursuing change, the continent will not be different from before.’
“I… I won’t listen to you, you ugly demon.”
I felt my vision gradually blur. I made a bitter smile when I saw the illusion wearing a mask constantly talking to me.
I thought I would be different and could get out of it, but I realized it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.
The advice he gave in the past might have already gotten into my mind. The demon’s cunning tongue continued to torment me even at the end.
‘But, Cherubim has changed. In the end, you changed.’
“It… It was because it seemed that I was obeying you. That upsets me.”
‘I don’t know. The reason doesn’t really matter, does it? What’s important here is that you have changed.’
The man in the mask came closer and smiled brightly. I knew it was an illusion, but I couldn’t help but stagger and swing my scythe. Of course, the illusion disappeared, releasing its shape.
‘That’s why you are dying.’
“Bullsh*t.”
‘If you had remembered what I said before, you wouldn’t have ended up like this. Your strange obsession with strings caught your ankle. It was not me, but Seraphim, whom you had to swing your scythe so vigorously against. You could do that, right?’
“I… definitely have said I can. I just didn’t like the way I acted listening to you.”
‘If I wanted your death, I might have considered even your tendency to do the opposite. Haha.’
“M-Maybe so, but I am different you filthy demon. I… I wasn’t caught by your cunning tongue. It was my will to cut Seraphim’s neck. I just thought I wanted to do that. No matter how much you want to joke with me, that doesn’t change.”
‘Why?’
“I don’t even know myself.”
‘I think I can tell. Didn’t you mutter before? You said, “Seraphim, Dominions, Thronus, and me.” One thing I’m certain of is that it seems that the thing you call bond has grown inside Cherubim. Siblings… born together and decided to share the same fate. Yes, the subtle bond between brothers and sisters caught your ankle.’
“…”
‘But, you know? I think I’ve said it once before…’
“…”
‘The dictionary meaning of the word bond is a mutual feeling, a string and a belt that are closely connected to each other, and to connect or combine two or more with one another. Unfortunately, it seems that Seraphim didn’t feel a bond with you. Haha.’
“…”
‘I… I think this bond is meaningful only when it is mutual. Emotions are meaningful only because they can be used to communicate. No matter how much you talk about bonds, it will be in vain if others don’t feel that way. That’s no different than saying that you feel a bond with the wall. In the end, it’s a meaningless dead end, just like what I told you.’
“…”
‘You should be perfect and not change. After all, you’re just an idiot. Your face doesn’t look good. Do you regret it?’
“No… I… I do not regret it.”
I asked myself once, but the answer was still there. I wasn’t sad, and I wasn’t in pain. Rather, I felt a bit numb.
The only thing I regretted was that I couldn’t pull out that demon’s tongue. As I uttered those words, I didn’t think of anything other than that. There was no regret in giving Seraphim’s end or in not stopping him.
I didn’t know why. I couldn’t accurately express what emotion I was feeling.
‘Still, why are you making that face?’
It was probably because of curiosity. I was satisfied with the fact that I took another step in resisting the demon’s words, but there were still questions.
“The bond.”
I didn’t realize what it was. I didn’t even know what it was.
‘People like you probably will never realize it.’
Maybe so.
‘That’s funny. What you regret at the end is not a dream, but a personal curiosity.’
I didn’t expect that either. However, the remaining task would come true. We were born as tools, after all.
‘It hurts that no one can shed a tear for you.’
“We don’t dwell on that. I am not afraid of that. I’m not afraid to disappear like this. We don’t feel the fear of death. Even if the end has come, I just accept it calmly.”
Humans wouldn’t understand, but it was a shame. I should’ve lived a little more as I wanted to.
“I thought it wouldn’t be the case, but what you said became a bane to me. No matter if you wanted me to change or not, I curse you.”
‘No matter what you think, you can’t deny that your end will be disgraceful. You still can’t get what you want.’
Booooooooooooooooooooom!!
“Haha. It… It won’t work the way you want.”
It was the sound of a huge explosion that awoke the body that was about to fall asleep. Of course, I naturally turned my head.
Although my body had lost all its strength, I unbelievably managed to stand up.
I heard a familiar voice. It was an unwelcomed one, but it was also the most welcomed at that moment.
“What? Blue-hair. You didn’t die, right?”
“…”
“I don’t know what’s going on, but your body’s not well.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Well, the situation right now is not leisurely enough to look at other people’s circumstances. It is in its own state that it can be exhibited. I can’t tell you to recuperate and come back.”
“…”
“It’s not good to say it’s a substitute, but I’ll balance it. Is this enough? Ah… It hurts more than I thought.”
“Still stupid.”
“It isn’t your business. So, are you ready?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t have any final words?”
“Yes.”
What I saw was a red beast that had injured its own body.
“It won’t be that bad in the end.”
Maybe that beast was feeling the same as me.